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6th ProZ.com Translation Contest

Spanish to English


Finalists:13

Source text:

¿Dónde estás, Lamia, en qué playa, en qué cama, en qué lobby de hotel te alcanzará esta carta que entregaré a un empleado indiferente para que le ponga los sellos y me indique el precio del franqueo sin mirarme, sin más que repetir los gestos de la rutina? Todo es impreciso, posible e improbable: que la leas, que no te llegue, que te llegue y no la leas, entregada a juegos más ceñidos; o que la leas entre dos tragos de vino, entre dos respuestas a esas preguntas que siempre te harán las que viven la indecible fortuna de compartirte en una mesa o una reunión de amigos; sí, un azar de instantes o de humores, el sobre que asoma en tu bolso y que decides abrir porque te aburres, o que hundes entre un peine y una lima de uñas, entre monedas sueltas y pedazos de papel con direcciones o mensajes. Y si la lees, porque no puedo tolerar que no la leas aunque sólo sea para interrumpirla con un gesto de hastío, si la lees hasta aquí, hasta esta palabra aquí que se aferra a tus ojos, que busca guardar tu mirada en lo que sigue, si la lees, Lamia, qué puede importarte lo que quiero decirte, no ya que te amo porque eso lo sabes desde siempre y te da igual y no es noticia, realmente no es noticia para ti allá donde estés amando a otra o solamente mirando el río de mujeres que el viento de la calle acerca a tu mesa y se lleva en lentas bordadas, cediéndote por un instante sus singladuras y sus máscaras de proa, las regatas multicolores que alguna ganará sin saberlo cuando te levantes y la sigas, la vuelvas única en la muchedumbre del atardecer, la abordes en el instante preciso, en el portal exacto donde tu sonrisa, tu pregunta, tu manera de ofrecer la llave de la noche sean exactamente halcón, festín, hartazgo.



Entry #4393 - Points: 52 - WINNER!
Donald Scott Alexander
Where are you, Lamia, on what beach, in what bed, in what hotel lobby will this letter reach you - this letter which I'm about to hand to some bored postal clerk who will just go through the usual motions of stamping it and telling me the postage without even bothering to look at me? Nothing's definite, anything's possible, nothing's likely: maybe you'll read it - or maybe it'll never get to you - or maybe it will get to you but you won't read it, caught up as you are in other, more absorbing amusements. Show full text

Mónica Algazi
Congratulations, Scott!
Magdalena Ponce
Congratulations, Scott! You should take pride in being the winner of a contest in which the source text chosen was written by Julio Cortázar, no less...
Entry #4352 - Points: 42
erowe
Where are you, Lamia? On what beach, in which bed or hotel lobby will this letter reach you? This letter that I shall hand to a bored clerk to fix the stamps and tell me how much, without so much as a glance at me, just going through the motions yet again. Nothing is certain, everything is possible and improbable – you will read it, it won't get to you, it will get to you but you won't read it, involved as you are in more fitting games. Or you will read it between two sips of wine, between two Show full text

Donald Scott Alexander
I think the word "gorging" at the end (for "hartazgo") was really brilliant. It captures the idea of Lamia being somewhat of a predator, who feasts and gorges and then gets bored and moves on again.

And "come alongside" for "la abordes" is spot-on - it's both a literal translation and it also intensifies the abundant nautical imagery.
Diana Arbiser
I voted for yours as best translation; I admire the work of Cortázar, and, besides being flawless, I think your translation truly respects his style. Congratulations!
Daniel Burns (X)
I also chose this as the best, mainly for the handling of "hartazgo".
Entry #4442 - Points: 40
Marian Vieyra
Where are you, Lamia?  On what beach, in which bed or hotel lobby will this letter reach you? – this self-same letter I will hand to an indifferent clerk to put a stamp on and tell me the postage costs without even glancing up at me, just going through the motions. Everything seems vague, possible, improbable. You might read the letter, it might not arrive, it might arrive and you might not read it, you might be engaged in other, more dangerous games.  Or you might read it between Show full text

Entry #4466 - Points: 35
Jessie LN
Where are you, Lamia? Where will this letter reach you? In some beach, in some bed, in some hotel lobby? I'll hand it over to some indifferent employee to put a stamp on and he'll tell me the price of postage without even looking up, merely going through the motions. Everything is uncertain, possible and improbable - you might read it, it might not arrive, it might arrive but you won't read it, subjected to one of your twisted games; or maybe you'll read it between two sips of wine, or between answers Show full text

Paula Mangia Garcia Terra
Very good!! My third choice!! =)
Entry #3659 - Points: 21
kastin
Where are you, Lamia?  In which beach, in which bed, in which hotel lobby will this letter reach you,  this letter that I will give to some indifferent employee so that he can stamp it and tell me the mailing cost without looking at me, with nothing more than a repetition of routine gestures?  It’s all imprecise, possible and improbable: that you read it, that you don’t get it, that you get it and you don’t read it, given over to more absorbing games; or that you Show full text

Paula Mangia Garcia Terra
Very good!! My second choice!! =)
Entry #3587 - Points: 18
jack_speak
Where are you, Lamia?  On what beach, in what bed, in what hotel lobby will you receive this letter that I will hand to some disinterested employee for him to place stamps upon it and tell me the postage fee without even looking at me, like a machine going through the motions?  Everything is uncertain, possible, and improbable:  you might read it, it might not reach you, perhaps it will reach you and you won’t read it, preoccupied with more captivating games; or you Show full text

Ramon Soto
Hi Jack! You were my third choice. Loved your translation.
jack_speak
Thanks Ramon! I appreciate you letting me know. Take care.
jacana54 (X)
Jack, I voted yours as the best, I really enjoyed it. Congratulations!
jack_speak
Thanks Lucia! Very kind of you.
Entry #4637 - Points: 17
Anonymous
Where are you, Lamia? On which beach, in which bed, in which hotel lobby will you receive this letter that I will hand to an indifferent worker so he can stamp it and tell me the cost of postage without looking up, just repeating his routine motions? Everything is unclear, possible and unlikely: you might read it, you might not receive it, you might receive it but not read it, absorbed by amusements at closer quarters; or you might read it over a glass of wine, in between answering those questions Show full text

Ramon Soto
Don't know who you are, but you were my second choice. Excellent job.
Paula Mangia Garcia Terra
Very good!! My first choice!! =)
Entry #4531 - Points: 13
Anonymous
Ciao, Verona
by Julio Cortázar

Where are you, Lamia? On what beach, in what bed, in what hotel lobby will this letter find you? This letter that I’ll hand over to an indifferent employee so that he can affix the stamps and tell me the postage price without glancing at me, simply repeating his routine gestures? Everything is vague, possible and improbable: that you'll read it, that it won't reach you, that it will reach you and you, devoted to less suffocating flirtations, won’t read Show full text

Danette St. Onge
Note: my translation of "direcciones" as "directions" is not a mistake but rather a conscious choice - (just thinking of the notes that are in my purse - most are directions to places!)
Ramon Soto
Loved your style! You were my first choice.
Entry #3713 - Points: 12
Nelida Kreer
Where are you, Lamia, on what beach, in which bed, which hotel lobby, where will it reach you, this letter that I shall hand over to an indifferent clerk who will paste the stamps on it, tell me the price of postage and not even look at me, just go through the motions.  Everything is imprecise, possible and improbable: that you read it, that it never reaches you, that it does reach you and you don’t read it, entrapped by more demanding games; or that you do read it between sips of wine, Show full text

Ramon Soto
Hi Niki. Congratulations on getting high points on both contests!
Nelida Kreer
Thank you Ramón! It's the first time ever that I participated in a translation contest, and the experience was worth it. I did not expect to get such high support, and until now nobody slapped my wrists.....So thanks to all of you who voted for my translation. Thank you Diana for your kind words!!
Entry #3638 - Points: 11
David Bywell
Where are you Lamia, which beach, which bed, which hotel lobby… where will this letter finally reach you? Soon to be stamped by some indifferent employee, telling me the postage cost without looking at me, simply going through the routine. Nothing is precise, impossible or probable; whether you read it, whether it reaches you, whether it reaches you and you don’t read it, delivered during other more pressing engagements; or you read it between two sips of wine, between two replies to those questions Show full text

Marian Vieyra
I selected your entry as 3rd - on re-reading it should really have been higher! Very good interpretation of the nautical imagery and tricky meanderings of the final paragraph. Well done!
Entry #3730 - Points: 10
Anonymous
Where are you, Lamia, what beach, what bed, what hotel lobby, when you get this letter I will be handing to an apathetic clerk to stamp, tell me how much the postage is, not looking up at me, just the usual routine?  Everything is indefinite, is possible, is improbable: you might read it, you might not get it, you might get it and not read it, absorbed in more demanding games, or you might read it between two sips of wine, between two answers to the questions always asked of you by those Show full text

Entry #3989 - Points: 3
Anonymous
Where are you, Lamia? On which beach, in which bed, at which hotel lobby will this letter reach you? This letter I'll hand in to an uninterested clerk for him to put the stamps on it and tell me the postage price, without even looking at me, just repeating the routine gestures. Everything is vague, possible and unlikely: that you read it, that it doesn't reach you, that it does reach you  but you don't read it, immersed into more clinging games; or that you read it between two sips of wine, Show full text

Entry #4639 - Points: 3
Anonymous
Where are you, Lamia?  On what beach, in what bed, in what hotel lobby will this letter, which I will hand to an indifferent postal employee who will, simply repeating the routine gestures, stamp it and tell me the price of postage without looking at me, reach you?  Everything is vague, possible and yet improbable: that you read it, that it doesn’t reach you, that it reaches you and you don’t read it, too consumed by concerns closer to home; or that you read it between two Show full text

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