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Off topic: 不翻譯時說笑話(It's the Happy Hour for Jokes)
Thread poster: Wenjer Leuschel (X)
Yi-Hua Shih
Yi-Hua Shih  Identity Verified
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Weather Forecasting Stone Mar 22, 2007

朋友寄來一封嵌著一張照片的笑話信,她說:這也轉寄給妳,因為妳的名字在其中。

我一看簡直笑翻了!


Stone, Forecasting Stone!
http://photo.xuite.net/_my/b_6_5?p_id=55768560


照片上是一顆用線懸著的石頭掛在一張招牌前,招牌上寫著

Gary's Weather Forecasting St
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朋友寄來一封嵌著一張照片的笑話信,她說:這也轉寄給妳,因為妳的名字在其中。

我一看簡直笑翻了!


Stone, Forecasting Stone!
http://photo.xuite.net/_my/b_6_5?p_id=55768560


照片上是一顆用線懸著的石頭掛在一張招牌前,招牌上寫著

Gary's Weather Forecasting Stone


Condition/Forecast

Stone is wet/Rain
Stone is dry/Not Raining
Shadow on Ground/Sunny
White on Top/Snowy
Can't See Stone/Foggy
Swinging Stone/Windy
Stone Jumping Up and Down/Earthquake
Stone Gone/Tornado


哈哈哈...哈哈哈哈哈.......






[修改时间: 2007-03-22 18:56]

[修改时间: 2007-03-22 18:59]
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pkchan
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Stone's Weather Forecast Mar 22, 2007







[Edited at 2007-03-22 19:20]

[Edited at 2007-03-22 19:21]


 
Wenjer Leuschel (X)
Wenjer Leuschel (X)  Identity Verified
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難怪唸起來都覺得滿舒暢的 Apr 8, 2007

有位朋友轉來一則有趣的東西:


難怪唸起來都覺得滿舒暢的

唵 嘛 呢 叭 彌 哞

知道這六字真言怎麼唸的嗎 ?

請看最新唸法:All money back me home!


 
Wenjer Leuschel (X)
Wenjer Leuschel (X)  Identity Verified
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Go-to Woman Apr 15, 2007

有人在 KudoZ 問 "go-to person" 是什麼意思,我看到時首先想到的是德語裡的 "Zugehfrau (go-to woman)"。

把這個詞 Zugehfrau 翻譯成 go-to woman 是因為 zugehen 的意思就是 go (up) to,Frau 則是 woman。

Zugehfrau 也可以說成 Zugeherin,同樣是 go-to woman,本意是到家裡來打掃的婦人。不過,這個字詞在德語裡衍生出另外的意思,因此今日的德語幾乎沒有人再使用這樣的詞眼了。

衍生出來意思請看以下新聞:
http://www.people.com.cn/GB/guandian/35560/2997679.html


 
ysun
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如此写法吉利吗? Apr 16, 2007

这里住宅区的某些路口常可见到这样的牌子,上写道:“Not a through street”。于是明白这就好比是北京的死胡同,故绕道而行,省得走冤枉路,同时还心存感激。一天,见到另一块牌子上写道:“Dead end - Private drive”。意思是很明白,但心里疑惑要是译成中文会不会被人译为“死亡终点 – 私人专道”?:D

 
Shaunna (X)
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*New York to London* Apr 17, 2007

Got this one in my email today. Thought it's funny--

*New York to London*

1. go to http://www.google.com/
2. click on "maps"
3. click on "get directions"
4. type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box)
5. type "London" in the second box (the "to" box)
6. scroll down to step #23


 
Wenjer Leuschel (X)
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Swim across the Atlantic Ocean? Apr 17, 2007

Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Shaunna wrote:

Got this one in my email today. Thought it's funny--

*New York to London*

1. go to http://www.google.com/
2. click on "maps"
3. click on "get directions"
4. type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box)
5. type "London" in the second box (the "to" box)
6. scroll down to step #23


 
Shaunna (X)
Shaunna (X)  Identity Verified
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:-) Apr 17, 2007

Must be nice working for Google.
Someone there got a good sense of humor.

Wenjer Leuschel wrote:

Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Shaunna wrote:

Got this one in my email today. Thought it's funny--

*New York to London*

1. go to http://www.google.com/
2. click on "maps"
3. click on "get directions"
4. type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box)
5. type "London" in the second box (the "to" box)
6. scroll down to step #23


 
wherestip
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Kids talk about marriage Apr 18, 2007

How do you decide who to marry?
+ You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10

+ No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. -- Kristen, age 10


How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
+ You might
... See more
How do you decide who to marry?
+ You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10

+ No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. -- Kristen, age 10


How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
+ You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. -- Derrick, age 8


What do your Mom and Dad have in common?
+ Both don't want any more kids. -- Lori, age 8


What do most people do on a date?
+ Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -- Lynnette, age 8

+ On the first date, they just tell each other lies. Usually that gets them interested enough to go for a second date. -- Martin, age 10


When is it okay to kiss someone?
+ When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7

+ The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. -- Curt, age 7

+ The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. -- Howard, age 8


Is it better to be single or married?
+ It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9


How would the world be different if people didn't get married?
+ There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8


How would you make a marriage work?
+ Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. -- Ricky, age 10
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Wenjer Leuschel (X)
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這也是笑話吧? Apr 20, 2007

劉黎兒的專欄「男女不思議」有這麼篇文章,也算是笑話吧?

http://apple.1-apple.com.tw/index.cfm?Fuseaction=Article&Sec_ID=20&ShowDate=20070415&NewsType=twapple_sub&Loc=TP&Art_ID=3396220


什麼事最怕被爆料?

日本女星石原真理子
... See more
劉黎兒的專欄「男女不思議」有這麼篇文章,也算是笑話吧?

http://apple.1-apple.com.tw/index.cfm?Fuseaction=Article&Sec_ID=20&ShowDate=20070415&NewsType=twapple_sub&Loc=TP&Art_ID=3396220


什麼事最怕被爆料?

日本女星石原真理子出了一本自敘傳記,暴露自己跟13位男性藝人的情事,賣了40萬本,被封為「爆料女」,她現在自任導演,把這本爆料書搬上電影,讓這些男性藝人大為緊張,擔心自己又有什麼新材料被爆料,遭爆料的男人不少當時或現在都有家庭,但日本婚外情不是問題,根本不怕被爆料,這些男人在乎的是自己床上表現的評語,或是自己在床上說過的痴話,而自古至今,日本男人最怕的還是女人爆料自己性器的尺寸。

像是日本最為聞名的主持人明石家秋刀魚,在石原真理子的書裡被說是性能力「普通」,讓他很生氣,每天都在節目中鬼叫,月子說:「他內心一定慶幸不已,至少沒被寫成『普通以下』!」日本某性愛大師作家有過無數風流韻事,不僅他,許多日本作家都以自己的異性遍歷當培養寫作土壤的肥料,但有次便遭一位銀座酒廊女人爆料他的性器細小如香菸,他生氣地說:「男人性能力與性器大小無關」等於此地無銀三百兩。

許多男人對於自己性器、性能力遭爆料非常不滿,表示要控訴,但實際上都沒付諸行動,繭子說:「他們要怎麼證明自己性能力不普通或是性器尺寸呢?若說是隱私問題,被說性能力很強或是性器尺寸過人,男人就不會想控訴吧!因此關鍵並非爆料隱私,而是爆料自己的弱點!」

山本認為,男人遇到這類爆料,應該說:「那是因為爆料女讓我沒興致,男人的性能力、性器是因為不同女人而有不同反應,換個女人反應自然大不同!爆料女要先照照鏡子!」日本許多男人都必須準備好類似說詞,因為現在有部落格等表現手段,常常翌日自己的性器尺寸、做愛順序、持續力等都會一一遭到評論,或許匿名,但呼之欲出,常常很快在同事等熟人間傳開。

女人也不例外,女星細川文美曾經寫了一本《萬華鏡》吐訴自己跟北野武不倫戀的種種苦惱以及無奈的感情,表示分手的決心,北野武遭片面宣告分手,也很不是味道,因此便爆料以94公分巨乳為號召的細川文美的雙峰摸起來非常冰冷,意思裡面全是填充物,對文美造成致命打擊,顯然男女都有些無法遭爆料的弱點!
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wherestip
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"狗血淋头" 的家教 Apr 20, 2007

I know this is not entirely funny, but it sure was a tirade of Oscar-caliber performance by Alec Baldwin that made my day

I like Alec, even though he's known for his volcanic temper.

For those who don't mind a little profanity ( WARNING!!! Listen at your own risk !!! ), open the link and click on "(Listen to the full message here [9])"

The audio message was aired on NBC's Today Show this mo
... See more
I know this is not entirely funny, but it sure was a tirade of Oscar-caliber performance by Alec Baldwin that made my day

I like Alec, even though he's known for his volcanic temper.

For those who don't mind a little profanity ( WARNING!!! Listen at your own risk !!! ), open the link and click on "(Listen to the full message here [9])"

The audio message was aired on NBC's Today Show this morning. I'm sure the decision to put this on national TV was carefully weighed by the network executives; for what purpose I don't know, except for perhaps the latest development on Hollywood's bitterest divorce custody battle I think Alec needs to get some counselling to help with managing his anger, but I can also understand how hurt he was as a father... 真是可怜天下父母心


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alec_Baldwin



Relationship with Kim Basinger

Alec Baldwin's marriage to Kim Basinger came to end in 2000, when they officially separated. A year later, Basinger filed for divorce in Los Angeles Superior Court. The ensuing divorce proceedings and custody battle have been a source of fodder for tabloid reporters, who have republished unsubstantiated claims by Basinger that she was physically and emotionally abused during the course of their marriage, and counter-claims by Baldwin's attorneys denying Basinger's charges and stating that Basinger had any number of untreated mental problems, including alcoholism. In their 2004 trial, he was awarded ongoing custody of his daughter Ireland and joint legal custody of her as well.


Relationship with Daughter

On May 4, 2007 a court will be considering whether Baldwin should be allowed continued visitation with his daughter in light of an expletive-strewn, threatening phone message he left to his 11-year-old daughter, Ireland, and a judge temporarily barred Baldwin from having any contact with his child until the trial. [11]

On the recording, Baldwin can be heard berating his young daughter, "You are a rude, thoughtless little pig." "You don't have the brains or the decency as a human being," he says, apparently upset that she did not answer her phone for a planned call. He further says, "I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old, or 11 years old, or that you're a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do as far as I'm concerned. You have humiliated me for the last time with this phone." "I made an ass out of myself trying to make this call. You have insulted me for the last time. You've made me feel like a fool over and over and over again. I'm gonna straighten your ass out when I see you, do you understand me?" [12] (Listen to the full message here [9])





[Edited at 2007-04-21 11:52]
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Wenjer Leuschel (X)
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本人平生最讨厌两种人 Apr 24, 2007

有一位中国朋友非常有幽默感,她在 MSN 的名称信息栏里写道:

本人平生最讨厌两种人:一种是有种族歧视的人,一种是黑人,还有一种是不会数数的人。


 
wherestip
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Do you speak English? May 2, 2007

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jG03joaqrcc

 
wherestip
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The iRack May 2, 2007

This was a skit shown on Fox's MadTV. When it comes to comedy, nothing is sacred.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGHty_S0TU0


 
wherestip
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Learning English May 2, 2007

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GljyPwPw01k

 
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不翻譯時說笑話(It's the Happy Hour for Jokes)






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