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Off topic: 劳作之余笑一笑
Thread poster: chrisleo

chrisleo
China
Local time: 11:02
Chinese to English
+ ...
Dec 21, 2007

如果这样搭配,中国不强都不行!!
国家 主席:李世民
军委 主席:成吉思汗
军委副主席:毛泽东
人大委员长:孙中山
国务院总理:诸葛亮
外交 部长:周恩来
外交部发言人:宋美龄
国防 部长:曹操
教育 部长:孔子
卫生 部长:华佗
环保总局局长:老子
农业 部长:贾思勰
水利 部长:大禹
建设 部长:秦始皇
地质 部长:张衡
公安 部长:展昭
国土资源部长:徐霞客
发展与改革委员会主任:商鞅
最高人民法院院长:包拯
国家禁 毒署署长:林则徐
妇联 主任:武则天
新闻出版署署长:纪晓岚
后勤 部长:李连英
中东特使:张骞
台湾事务办公厅:郑成功
海关总署:郑和
文化部长:唐伯虎
拆迁办主任:孟姜女
计生委主任:唐僧
医务 处长:李时珍
航空航天部部长:嫦娥
国家跳水队队长:屈原 
等咱中国强大了,全叫老外考中文四六级!文言文太简单,全用毛笔答题,这是便宜他们。惹急了一人一把刀一个龟壳,刻甲骨文!论文题目就叫:论三个代表!到了考听力的时候全用周杰伦的歌,《双截棍》听两遍,《菊花台》只能听一遍。告诉他们这是中国人说话最正常的语速!阅读理解全是政府工作报告,口试要求唱京剧,实验就考包粽子。考死他们。


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chrisleo
China
Local time: 11:02
Chinese to English
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
A Joke Dec 21, 2007

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a
Frenchman, who found this small genie bottle together.
When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4
guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are
4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run
towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water
to become, then your wish will come true."
The Frenchman wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and
shouted, "WINE."
The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was
so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.
Next was the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and
immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER." He was so
contented with his beer pool.
The last was the American. He was running towards the pool when
suddenly he stepped on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and
shouted, "SHIT!!!..."
Moral of the story:
"THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN."

[标题已经过网站人员或版主的修改 2008-11-20 04:18 GMT]


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Jing Nie
China
Local time: 11:02
Member (2011)
English to Chinese
+ ...
沙僧对悟空说 Dec 21, 2007

“现在二师兄的肉比师父的肉还要贵呀”

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Wenjer Leuschel  Identity Verified
Taiwan
Local time: 11:02
English to Chinese
+ ...
沙僧不吃猪肉 Dec 21, 2007

Jing Nie wrote:

沙僧对悟空说:“现在二师兄的肉比师父的肉还要贵呀”


所以八戒的肉价对他没有影响,倒是悟空和三藏要保持警戒了。


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jyuan_us  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 23:02
Member (2005)
English to Chinese
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轉貼 Dec 22, 2007

搞笑的“干”翻译的兄弟:一些学术论文中的“先进性教育”

作者:丝粉

(摘要)

看看advanced sex education吧。

http://www.ilib.cn/A-zgsy-llb200612084.html
推进先进性教育长效机制的建立
Push forward machine-made building-up of long advanced sex education
effect


http://www.ilib.cn/A-fysfxyxb-shkxb200405033.html
为人民服务与党的先进性
Behave the people's advanced sex of the service and party


http://cache.baidu.com/c?word=advanced,sex,education&url=http://
www%2Ecnki%2Ecom%2Ecn/Journal/H%2DH8%2DWLZY%2Ehtm&p=9d57c64ad7c311a059
ebc2354d489e&user=baidu


关于民族地区巩固和发展农村先进性教育成果的思考
As For Chinese Race Region Make Stronger With Develop The Advanced Sex
Education In Village Result Considers

http://cache.baidu.com/c?word=advanced,sex,education&url=http://
www%2Ecqvip%2Ecom/qk/88511X/200504/21821298%2Ehtml&p=853dc815d9c747e71
7bac7710c1691&user=baidu



(XYS20071218)


[Edited at 2007-12-22 04:10]

[Edited at 2007-12-22 04:10]


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Zhoudan  Identity Verified
Local time: 11:02
Member (2007)
English to Chinese
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想起电视剧 Dec 22, 2007

看到这些性教育,想起好多年前看的一本新加坡电视剧。故事情节已经不记得了,有一段台词到现在还记得。A带一女子出席在众人面前,小兄弟起哄说这是他的女朋友。A说:“不是女朋友,女性朋友而已。”小兄弟马上说:“别说得这么露骨嘛,什么女的性朋友。”



jyuan_us wrote:

搞笑的“干”翻译的兄弟:一些学术论文中的“先进性教育”

作者:丝粉

(摘要)

看看advanced sex education吧。



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chrisleo
China
Local time: 11:02
Chinese to English
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
圣诞快乐 Dec 24, 2007

中山领导流浪汉;
泽东领导穷光蛋;
小平领导小商贩;
泽民领导贪污犯;
剩下我们怎么办?
跟着涛哥混口饭,
涛哥说:
“再穷也得过圣诞!”
——提前祝圣诞快乐


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tang jianmei
Local time: 11:02
English to Chinese
2007年工作总结和2008计划... Jan 14, 2008

2007年工作总结和2008计划...
存在问题:好吃饭、好泡妞、好抽烟、好喝酒。
分析原因:饭好吃、妞好泡、烟好抽、酒好喝。
总结经验:吃饭好、泡妞好、抽烟好、喝酒好。
整改措施:饭吃好、妞泡好、烟抽好、酒喝好。
努力方向:吃好饭、泡好妞、抽好烟、喝好酒。


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Yang Min  Identity Verified
Local time: 11:02
Chinese to English
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经典 Jan 21, 2008

tang jianmei wrote:

2007年工作总结和2008计划...
存在问题:好吃饭、好泡妞、好抽烟、好喝酒。
分析原因:饭好吃、妞好泡、烟好抽、酒好喝。
总结经验:吃饭好、泡妞好、抽烟好、喝酒好。
整改措施:饭吃好、妞泡好、烟抽好、酒喝好。
努力方向:吃好饭、泡好妞、抽好烟、喝好酒。

经典,收藏了!

[Edited at 2008-01-21 05:51]


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chrisleo
China
Local time: 11:02
Chinese to English
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
广州站最新消息 Jan 30, 2008

到1/30号中午止,广州站滞留的乘客超过100万人。其中大部分人员情绪激动,为了稳定广大滞留乘客的情绪,党中央特安排紧急空运了10万副扑克,5万副麻将到广州站。目前滞留人员中男人基本上都在打麻将或是斗地主,女人和老人买马,小孩负责收钱。整个广州站处在一片详和的气氛中。广大民众纷纷对目前的状况表示满意,就算铁路通车了也不想回家过年。甚至有人喊出了:让风雪来得更猛烈些吧 的口号。广州站的工作人员突然变得无事可做,目前已集体放假回家过年。

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wherestip  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 22:02
Chinese to English
+ ...
Saw this while flipping through the channels Nov 19, 2008

Tingting, Did you see Carla Bruni on David Letterman last night? I remember you saying you like to watch the late night shows.

Like Dame Edna, he loves to kid with his guests and give them somewhat of a hard time; the First Lady of France was no exception.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rx6ENlSQxQw


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redred  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 11:02
English to Chinese
+ ...
传说中的 Nov 20, 2008

上海的家庭治理结构是什么形式?是丈母娘领导下的太太负责制——复旦大学教授李若山的语录

[Edited at 2008-11-20 01:29 GMT]


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wherestip  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 22:02
Chinese to English
+ ...
The Wahoo Gazette Nov 20, 2008

Found this ... Seems like an official blog by a staff member that recaps some of the episodes of the "Late Show with David Letterman"


http://lateshow.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/wahoo/index/php/20081118.phtml


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pkchan  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 23:02
Member (2006)
English to Chinese
+ ...
16 歲女孩懷孕了,父親只說了8個字 (很經典) Nov 20, 2008

一個16歲的女孩跟她母親說她已經2個月沒來了……
母親一聽不得了趕緊去藥房買了驗孕劑來確認一下……
結果女孩真的懷孕了!
母親又哭又罵的問到:'到底是那個渾蛋干的好事,你給我從實招來!!'

女孩只好打了通電話……
半小時后,一部全新的法拉利跑車疾駛到了女孩家門,而跨出車門的是位全身名牌衣著又風度翩翩的中年紳士。

紳士進入屋內與女孩及她的父母雙親在客廳坐了下來。

午安!'紳士禮貌的向她們問候並說道:'令媛剛剛告知了我這個大問題,但是因為我的個人家庭問題,很抱歉我無法娶令媛為妻,不過我會負該負的責任!'
'這樣好了,如果生的是女孩,我會留3家店面,2間房子,1棟海邊別墅及一個200萬美金的帳戶給她。'

'如果生的是男孩,我會讓他繼承2家公司再加上一個200萬美金的帳戶。'

'如果生的是雙胞胎,那就每人繼承1家公司還有各100萬美金的帳戶。'

'但如果不幸流產了……'

此時在一旁沉默已久的父親,突然站起來,並把手緊緊的搭在紳士的肩上后說:

"那就再麻煩你一次!"


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jyuan_us  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 23:02
Member (2005)
English to Chinese
+ ...
看到一個電視劇里的鏡頭 Nov 22, 2008

病房門口掛的牌子﹕ ILLNESS ROOM。

還看到另外一個電視劇﹐拍的很好﹐名字叫作非常夫妻。片頭做的特別漂亮。設計人員好像為了讓人知道他懂得拼音﹐就用很大字體在很突出的位置﹐用了很特別的美工寫道﹕

FCFQ。


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