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Off topic: Enkele stelregels, met dank aan een collega
Thread poster: Evert DELOOF-SYS

Evert DELOOF-SYS  Identity Verified
Belgium
Local time: 09:38
Member
English to Dutch
+ ...
Mar 1, 2005

maxim = the material rule or principle used to guide a person in a particular situation about what to do (e.g., 'I should never tell a lie'). It thus provides a kind of bridge between a persons inner disposition and outer actions.

Niet alles wat hieronder staat voldoet aan de definitie van een maxim/stelregel, maar dat was toch niet de bedoeling van onderstaand berichtje dat ik gisteren ontving van een collega.

1) Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapenos; you never know what's going to burn your ass.

2) I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

3) Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

4) Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again.

5)I don't have an attitude problem; you have a perception problem.

6) Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where in the hell is my ceiling?

7) My reality check bounced.

8) On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

9) I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier!

10) You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

11) Everyone is someone else's weirdo.

12) Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then defeat you with experience.

13) Be careful ... a pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the ass.

14) Don't be irreplaceable --- if you can't be replaced, you won't be promoted.

15) The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

16) You can go anywhere you want; if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

17) So this isn't Home Sweet Home... Adjust!

18) I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

19) Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

20) I'd love to live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.


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Evert DELOOF-SYS  Identity Verified
Belgium
Local time: 09:38
Member
English to Dutch
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Smile of the week - nog eentje in het Engels Mar 6, 2005

SMILE OF THE WEEK

(contributions for this section are most welcome)

=: What A Mother Teaches :=

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2.My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3.My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4.My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
If I've told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on. Don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

[author unknown]


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