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Recherche sur Internet : une question de pudeur et d'efficacité...
Thread poster: ALAIN COTE
ALAIN COTE  Identity Verified
Local time: 06:35
Japanese to French
Dec 18, 2003

Bonjour à tous. J'aimerais faire appel à votre expérience, sagesse et imagination collective pour atteindre un but très simple : ne plus obtenir un tas de résultats pour adultes lorsque je cherche des références sur Internet. Actuellement j'utilise la barre Google, mais comme je traduis principalement des modes d'emploi et logiciels d'appareils audiovisuels et que la Grande Toile fourmille d'éléments visuels pour adultes consentants, je perds souvent un temps fou à me concentrer pour ne pas regarder des résultats qui stimulent ma libido mais ralentissent mon travail.

Alain, adulte pas toujours consentant


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lien
Netherlands
Local time: 23:35
English to French
+ ...
Google Directory Dec 18, 2003

Cherche avec le Google Directory, c'est plus direct, mais pas si simple parce que tu ne sais pas toujours ou ils ont "cache" ce que tu cherches.

Mais tu fais plein de decouvertes par hasard qui peuvent etre utiles plus tard.


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Abdellatif Bouhid  Identity Verified
Local time: 17:35
English to French
+ ...
Here is one prescription Dec 18, 2003

You may google to 'EMS Free Surfer mkII', download the free version. Many of your headache's symptoms will go away.

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xxxPaul Roige
Spain
Local time: 23:35
English to Spanish
+ ...
LOL Dec 18, 2003

ALAIN COTE wrote:
Actuellement j'utilise la barre Google, mais comme je traduis principalement des modes d'emploi et logiciels d'appareils audiovisuels et que la Grande Toile fourmille d'éléments visuels pour adultes consentants, je perds souvent un temps fou à me concentrer pour ne pas regarder des résultats qui stimulent ma libido mais ralentissent mon travail.
Alain, adulte pas toujours consentant


Oui, ça chauffe, Alain, désolé. Il faut peut-être donc une toute P'tite Toile (de bain) sur l'écran... et une douche bien froide pour en noyer les araignées libidineuses!
Paul, jamais (Ă©lectroniquement) consentant alors!
P

[Edited at 2003-12-18 02:46]


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Jean-Luc Dumont  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 23:35
English to French
+ ...
Alain...pudique :-) Dec 18, 2003

Tu es un sacré comique et provocateur

Puisqu'il ne s'agit pas de pop-ups ou de polluriels sexuels, et ce n'est pas la réception mais plutôt la destination qui pêche-pèche ici, je pense que le self-control, l'auto-discipline, la force de concentration est encore le meilleur type des filtres (philtres).

Il y a des filtres pour enfants, basés sur les recherches de mots clés mais je trouve cela peut-être bête et méchant puisque, suivant les contextes et synonymes, certains mots tout à fait anodins dans le technique pourraient-être "reconnus" comme érotico-pervers par le filtre et donc être interdits d'accès au traducteur frustré, légitimement, que tu serais cette fois-ci. Tu risquerais de te retrouver dans une position bien plus délicate vis à vis de ton travail. D'où une perte de temps pire que de se laisser aller au gré de sa curiosité et qui sait apprendre des choses.

PDF] SOMMAIRE
File Format: PDF/Adobe Acrobat - View as HTML
Your browser may not have a PDF reader available. Google recommends visiting our text version of this document.
... cette page à 200%, de la compléter, et de l’envoyer à notre assistance technique. ... la
tête de la vis - à bout bombé - à bout plat - à téton long - à ...
www.hpceurope.com/tom1/346-350.pdf - Similar pages

Traiter le bois - FICHE CONSEIL - Mr.Bricolage - [ Translate this page ]
... 7. Enfoncer l'injecteur du pistolet sur le téton de la cheville. ... Technique
: les pièces de bois abîmées doivent être remplacées. BOIS ATTAQUE. ...
www.mr-bricolage.fr/Fiches_conseils/mb5-16.htm - 25k


Il paraît qu'à Bruxelles, une fois, ils ont des bouts carrés


[Edited at 2003-12-18 02:53]


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ALAIN COTE  Identity Verified
Local time: 06:35
Japanese to French
TOPIC STARTER
Une pétition !!! Dec 18, 2003

Merci à tous pour les conseils, commentaires ou suggestions, ainsi qu'à Jean-Luc pour cette démonstration très convaincante. J'ai osé croire un instant qu'un simple engin de recherche arriverait à remplacer mon jugement, mon bon goût et mes préférences personnelles pour trier (rejeter avec discernement) toutes les offres inqualifiables qui submergent mon écran chaque fois que j'insère un mot, si innocent soit-il, dans la barre Google. J'aurais dû y penser, rien ne remplacera jamais le bon vieux cerveau humain.

J'ai déjà essayé dans Google avec l'attribut NOT, du genre NOT sexe, passion, fièvre, frénésie, endurance, exploit, enlève d'abord tes bas et tout un tas de mots bien plus vilains que je n'oserais jamais écrire ici, mais il faut croire que les concepteurs des sites pour adultes ont une imagination bien plus débordante que la mienne, un vocabulaire bien plus complet que tous mes pauvres dictionnaires, puisqu'ils arrivent toujours à faire très bonne figure dans la liste des résultats de Google malgré tous mes efforts de négation.

Je crois en fait qu'il va devenir de plus en plus difficile, pour les traducteurs sérieux, de naviguer sur cette méchante Toile. Je propose donc la signature d'une pétition, adressée à Monsieur Internet (il habite juste à côté du Père Noël, m'a dit un ami récemment), pour demander un nouveau type d'adresse URL, qui finirait, non pas par com, fr, ca, org ou net, mais par les trois lettres cul, et regrouperait dans leur exhaustivité et leur perversité tous les sites qui se spécialisent dans des sujets que résument bien ces trois lettres.

Comme ça, nous pourrions faire nos recherches sur Google l'âme en paix, en précisant : NOT .CUL

N'est-ce pas une idée géniale ? Quelqu'un a l'adresse postale du Père Noël ? Nous pourrions lui envoyer la pétition pour qu'il la transmette à Monsieur Internet...


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Susana Galilea  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 16:35
English to Spanish
+ ...
Non mais Ă  la fin... Dec 18, 2003

ALAIN COTE wrote:
Je propose donc la signature d'une pétition, adressée à Monsieur Internet (il habite juste à côté du Père Noël, m'a dit un ami récemment), pour demander un nouveau type d'adresse URL, qui finirait, non pas par com, fr, ca, org ou net, mais par les trois lettres cul, et regrouperait dans leur exhaustivité et leur perversité tous les sites qui se spécialisent dans des sujets que résument bien ces trois lettres.

Comme ça, nous pourrions faire nos recherches sur Google l'âme en paix, en précisant : NOT .CUL

N'est-ce pas une idée géniale ? Quelqu'un a l'adresse postale du Père Noël ? Nous pourrions lui envoyer la pétition pour qu'il la transmette à Monsieur Internet...



Il existe le Père Noël ?



Allez, bonnes fĂŞtes Ă  tous

Susana Galilea
Accredited Translator, EUTI
sgalilea@ispwest.com
www.accentonspanish.com


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ALAIN COTE  Identity Verified
Local time: 06:35
Japanese to French
TOPIC STARTER
Mes excuses madame ! Dec 18, 2003

Susana Galilea wrote:
Il existe le Père Noël ?




Oui j'exsite, et j'en ai plein mon sac des incrédules !

Ho ! Ho ! Ho !

[Edited at 2003-12-18 07:32]


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Gerard de Noord  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 23:35
Member (2003)
German to Dutch
+ ...
Il faut Googler en anglais Dec 18, 2003

La version avancée anglaise de Google (http://www.google.com/advanced_search?hl=en) offre un filtre SafeSearch.

Cordialement,
Gerard


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Jack Doughty  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 22:35
Member (2000)
Russian to English
+ ...
Le Père Noël? Il n'existe pas Dec 18, 2003

(Pardonnez le fait que je poste en anglais)

Bah, Humbug!

An Engineer's Christmas

There are approximately two billion children (persons under eighteen) in the
world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu,
Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the
workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million
(according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census)
rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes,
presuming there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the
different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to
west(which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second.
This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa
has
around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the
chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the
tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the
chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around
the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the
purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per
household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops
or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per
second--3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the
fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4
miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles
per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that
each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds),
the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousands tons, not counting Santa
himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300
pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the
normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of
them---Santa would need 360,000of them. This increases the payload, not
counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven
times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
resistance--this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a
spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer
would adsorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short,
they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer
behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire
reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or
right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating
from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to
acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems
ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015
pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing
him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's
dead now.

Joyeux Noël!


[Edited at 2003-12-18 15:59]


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Monique Laville  Identity Verified
Italy
Local time: 23:35
Italian to French
+ ...
Recherche sur Internet Dec 18, 2003

C'est grace à ce genre de pop'ups que j'ai constaté que mes filles cherchaient à approfondir des connaissances qui pourraient leur servir dans le futur.

D'abord "nettoyer" régulièrement l'ordinateur:
- Ă©liminer les cookies Ă  travers "options internet"
- Ă©liminer tout ce qui est en chronologie.
car tous les sites visités et les messages reçus laissent des traces qui permettent aux sites correspondants d'envoyer automatiquement publicités et autres.

Puis, un informaticien m'a installé un programme Spybot Search and Destroy.

Je n'ai plus eu de problèmes.


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sylver  Identity Verified
Local time: 05:35
English to French
Rebutal Dec 18, 2003

Jack Doughty wrote:

(Pardonnez le fait que je poste en anglais)

Bah, Humbug!

An Engineer's Christmas

There are approximately two billion children (persons under eighteen) in the
world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu,
Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the
workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million
(according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census)
rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes,
presuming there is at least one good child in each.

No a chance. If you cut santa's workload based on the number of children whose conduct has been irreproachable for a whole year, I am pretty sure you can remove quite few households.

Beside, as far as I remember, the old feller handles only houses with fireplace. Your number is taking another dive, especially in not too cold countries. It also concentrates the target households in smaller areas, making it easier to manage.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the
different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to
west(which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second.
This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa
has
around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the
chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the
tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the
chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around
the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the
purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per
household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops
or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per
second--3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the
fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4
miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles
per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that
each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds),
the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousands tons, not counting Santa
himself.
On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300
pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the
normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of
them---Santa would need 360,000of them. This increases the payload, not
counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven
times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
resistance--this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a
spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer
would adsorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short,
they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer
behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire
reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or
right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

But, that's assuming that old santa has only one sleigh. It could very well be operating on a pony express model, thus cutting down both the necessary payload per sleigh.


Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating
from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to
acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems
ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015
pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing
him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's
dead now.

Joyeux Noel!


You don't get it. Santa, that's a bit like Carslberg. The reinders, the sleigh, that's how Santa got into business in the first place, when there was only a few houses around.

Carlsberg's still got some old horse carriages to move aorund a few liter of their piss, but of course, when it comes to delivery, you gotta see 'em trucks!

Same deal with Santa. He still use the same old marketing cliché*, but I betcha he's got lotsa underpaid elves to do the stuff while he concentrates on his putt.

Cheers, and merry christmas from the Board of Directors, Santa ltd., a wholy owned subsidiary of Christmas Inc.

Sylver
(Do not disturb. Negociating a merger)

*Wonder what his marketing budget is, BTW, with all those ads on TV, and what is probably the most successful affiliate program ever implemented (about every shop's got his banners, schools even teach kids about his corporate traditions, and he doesn't even pay a cents for the referals! talk about success)


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