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Joual mon cheval - 1er concours de traduction KudoZ, FR > AN
Thread poster: Yolanda Broad

Yolanda Broad  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 11:45
Member (2000)
French to English
+ ...
Dec 7, 2002

J\'affiche ce concours dans le forum français, puisqu\'il vise une des paires de langue avec le français, mais la traduction est vers l\'anglais.



Joual, mon cheval

de batailles,

hélas,

de sourires en soupirs,

de douleurs qu\'on efface.



Joual, mon cheval

libre de rire

ou de hennir

sans que l\'un pousse

ou l\'autre tire.



Sans l\'un et l\'autre

haïr.



Joual, mon cheval

qui n\'a que faire…

des dictionnaires.



Joual, mon cheval

qui parle sauvage

à grand-mère,

qui ne peut dire sa colère qu\'en termes fous,

qu\'en termes frères,

en termes de chez nous.



Joual, mon cheval

qui pour avoir été longtemps sous la botte implacable

d\'un dangereux amant,

joual bâillonné mais ne pouvant se taire,

cheval qui se résigne,

à pleurer

plutôt que braire.



Aude Ace 2002











Et voici les règles du concours (en anglais...):



This is a poetry translation contest, which I am organizing to give us a break from our day to day translation chores. I also hope it will help put us in a cheerful, holiday mood: ‘tis the season! See \"Joual, mon cheval\" thread in French Forum for the entire text.



Here are the rules:



1. You must translate all the KudoZ with lines of from poem.

2. The winner will be chosen on the basis of the translation of the whole poem.

3. I will be sole judge of the translations. Prize: KudoZ for all your \"answers,\" and, should we ever get within range of one another, a bottle of an excellent wine from a local vineyard, lovingly aged in our own personal \"cave\" (under the stairs to our basement, where it is dark and cool all year long).

4. I also invite you to discuss this on the FR< > English forum, and will open a thread dedicated to that discussion. Besides, this will give us a good chance to welcome the new FR< >EN moderator, JCEC (John Chandioux).

5. The winner also gets to select a poem and run/judge a new contest, using the foregoing rules.

[ This Message was edited by: on 2002-12-08 00:43 ]

[ This Message was edited by: on 2002-12-08 00:48 ]

[ This Message was edited by: on 2002-12-08 00:50 ]


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Nathalie M. Girard, ALHC  Identity Verified
English to French
+ ...
Can you clarify No. 1? Dec 8, 2002

Bonjour Yolanda,



Je ne comprends pas le premier point (en rapport avec les Kudoz):



1. You must translate \"all the KudoZ\" with lines \"of from\" poem.



What do you mean by \"translate all the Kudoz\" (which kudoz???) with lines from this poem?



From the rest, I simply understand that we have to translate the above poem into English, and that the best translation will be declared the winner.



Am I totally missing the mark here?



Many thanks for any light you can shed on this... I am interested in participating



Nath

[ This Message was edited by: on 2002-12-08 14:35 ]


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Yolanda Broad  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 11:45
Member (2000)
French to English
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Information supplémentaire sur ce concours, et mes excuses Dec 8, 2002

Il semble que les courriels/e-mails de KudoZ annonçant la présence des lignes de ce poème sur KudoZ sont bourrés de code HTML, ce qui les rend à peu près illisibles. Du moins, c\'est le cas pour les messages que j\'ai reçus, et j\'en suis désolée. Par contre, les textes des KudoZ correspondants, pour leur part, sont parfaitement intacts, alors, si l\'on a le courage de s\'y rendre, pas de problème. Le plus simple, et le plus sûr, pour la traduction, serait de la compléter d\'une pièce, à partir du texte ci-dessus, puis entrer les lignes une par une dans les KudoZ appropriés.



Alors, voici les URLs de ces KudoZ; suivez la piste, et vous aurez toutes les lignes:



http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323303

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323304

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323305

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323306

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323307

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323308

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323309

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323310

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323311

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323312

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323313

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323314

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323315

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323317

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323318

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323319

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323320

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323321

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323322

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323323

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323325

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323326

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323327

http://www.proz.com/kudoz/323329

http://www.proz.com/glossary/323330?pwd=26xk

http://www.proz.com/glossary/323331?pwd=uhLb

http://www.proz.com/glossary/323333?pwd=fFIu



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Francis MARC
Lithuania
Local time: 17:45
English to French
+ ...
je l'ai étrenné ! Dec 8, 2002

J\'ai composé ma traduction délirante (ce serait amusant de faire re-traduire par d\'autres vers le français à partir des textes pondus en anglais).



La mise en place des morceaux ligne par ligne sur Kudoz s\'avère assez laborieuse.



Pour faciliter la synthèse, voici le texte d\'ensemble (ne riez pas ...)





Geoffrey, my palfrey,

my war horse alike, alack,

from smiles to sighs, without a gap,

plus all the deep pains that we zap.



Geoffrey, my palfrey,

we’re free when laughing,

or rather when whinnying,

never one is pushing

if the other is pulling,

no hate, ever,

against each other.





Geoffrey, my palfrey,

never worries

about dictionaries.



Geoffrey, my palfrey,

who talks wildly

to grandaddy,

who delivers his anger

through word fury,

shared amicably.



Geoffrey, my palfrey,

was almost for ever

like a loot under the foot

of a dangerous lover.

Muzzled but not quiet,

has no other diet

than crying

instead of braying.



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NancyLynn
Canada
Local time: 11:45
Member (2002)
French to English
+ ...
mar version! Dec 8, 2002

J\'ai l\'impression, Odette, que tu vas avoir quelques versions divergentes...



Coarse, my horse

my battle-horse

alas,

from smiles to sighs

and pain immaterialized.





Coarse, my horse,

free to play

free to neigh

without one pulling

and the other pushing away.

And each thinking of hate.





Coarse, my horse

who would nary

crack a dictionary.





Coarse, my horse

who talks wild

to Grandmother,

who cannot smother his anger with crazy words,

with brotherly words,

words from back home.







How\'s that for a Sunday afternoon project?



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Libero_Lang_Lab  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 15:45
Member (2006)
Russian to English
+ ...
A spot of poetic licence Dec 8, 2002

Joual, my battle-weary steed

Alas, your smile fades to sighs,

Born of the pain and grief

Set deep inside your eyes.



Joual, my wild steed

Free now to laugh and neigh;

Free from the tug of war,

The hate that marked your way.



Joual, my indefinable steed,

No dictionary holds the key.



Joual, my savage steed,

Wild alike with friend and foe;

Your raging moods cannot be dressed

In the language of mankind

In terms that we can know.



Joual, my one and only steed,

Suffering so long the whims

Of a dangerous lover’s boot and spur;

Gagged but never silenced

Destined to weep and bray no more.



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schmurr  Identity Verified
Local time: 16:45
Italian to German
+ ...
mais… Dec 9, 2002

Chère Yolanda, je te félicite de ton idée d\'interrompre notre tran-tran des traductions par une nouveauté qui a du niveau, mais…

tu ne trouves pas que tes 20 questions pourraient congestionner les pages ProZ, et que peu de personnes ont le temps et la patience de cliquer 20 fois pour insérer chaque fois une petite ligne? qu\'au moins le vainqueur fasse son concours dans le forum - on voit que ça marche très bien! tant pis pour les KudoZ - il y a plein d\'occasions pour en faire…


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Bruce Popp  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 11:45
French to English
Gus, my cat Dec 10, 2002




Here\'s my interpretation (not really a translation) with a

very heavy dose of poetic license.


Gus, my cat


a mouser


from purring to meowing


petting relieves stress


Gus, my cat


free to hold his tail high


or stalk


while staying aloof


with malice towards none

Gus, my cat


who has only to make


fur-balls on my carpet


Gus, my cat


who hisses and growls


at strangers


who arches his back and shows his teeth


a domestic predator


who trusts only us


Gus, my cat


who has lived long, burdened now


by the indignities of aging


can no longer jump on the table


must now call for delivery


instead of getting take out.


Seasons greetings!







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JohannR
Local time: 15:45
English to French
joual mon cheval Dec 10, 2002

Stampede,my auld steed,

my companion to the battlefields,

poor you,

after a smile, a sigh

after a pain, anew.



Stampede, my auld steed,

laugh if you will,

or cry! -for your will is stronger than the reed

anyway.



But do not loathe them

either way.



Stampede, my auld steed,

for you glossaries

are as useful as withered daisies!



Stampede, my auld steed,

who talks hoarsely

to granny,

your anger is only frenzy,

friendzy,

and cosy.



Stampede, my auld steed,

for yongst under the yoke

of a dangerous lover,

stampeded but still making a joke,

for a vanquished steed, tears take over

the need

to neigh.


[addsig]


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irat56  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 16:45
English to French
+ ...
D'un "fou Breton", en toute humilté! Dec 13, 2002

Joual...

Joual, Acadian charger of mine in the midst of battles

Alas, from dour smiles to harshened whispers

Of lasting grievance that turns up numb at last



Joual, ô my charger, free to laugh or to neigh,

And with no one to push, and with no one to pull

And hot hatred to neither



Joual my charger, with useless dictionaries

Joual, ô my charger who whispers wild and free

Into Grand-Ma\'s ears,



Who cannot fume his rage, but in so savage words

And in brotherly words, and the words of my folks



Joual, my cherished horse suffered for a long time

Under the crushing heel of merciless lover



Joual, gaggled maybe, but unable ever

To swallow up his words, even under duress



A simple horse that will eventually resigns

To quietly cry

Rather than bray...



After Aude Ace 2002

And may she forgive my presumptuousness!


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Libero_Lang_Lab  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 15:45
Member (2006)
Russian to English
+ ...
Yolanda Jan 6, 2003

Are you lost in a poetic reverie, or have you forgotten about this????



(Happy New Year!)


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JMMAZ
Local time: 16:45
English to French
Joual, my joual Feb 24, 2012

Joual, my joual
of battles
alas,
of smiles into sighs,
of pains they erase.

Free to laugh
or neigh
without either pushes
or pulls.

Without one or other
hate.

Joual, my joual
which has no use
of dictionaries

Joual, my joual
wild speaking
to grandmother
which just can tell its anger
in furious terms
in brethren terms
in home terms

Joual, my joual
which having been long under the ruthless heel
of a dangerous lover,
joual gagged but cannot keep silent,
joual which resigns
to cry
rather than bray.


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