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Aren\'t we precious! Abbiamo un nuovo iscritto.....
Thread poster: CLS Lexi-tech

CLS Lexi-tech
Local time: 11:05
Member (2004)
English to Italian
+ ...
Jan 30, 2002

http://www.proz.com/translator/28536

il sig. Mario Abbicci\'



Vi invito a dargli il benvenuto numerosi e a dirmi il vostro parere. Naturalmente, tutti gli iscritti sono benvenuti, essendo questo un sito aperto.



Il sig. Abbicci\' che sa molto bene l\'inglese, ci vuole prendere in giro. Ben venga, se si diverte con poco.



Speriamo solo che non cominci a dare risposte ironiche ai Kudoz e in ogni caso siete avvertiti.



buon lavoro a tutti



paola l m



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Uwe Schwenk
Local time: 10:05
English to German
Arent we precious! Jan 30, 2002

Only one thing to say.



I love it.



To use a typical American expression: Right on the Money!!


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Catherine Bolton  Identity Verified
Local time: 17:05
Member (2002)
Italian to English
+ ...
Benvenuto Mario! Jan 30, 2002

Ottimo profilo, molta fantasia.

Ma cerchiamo di coglierne il motivo. In molte cose ha ragione. Non avete notato che ultimamente basta dire \"thousands of google hits\"? Ecco fatto! Hai risposto!

Provate con \"you + are + an + idiot\" e vedrete che ci saranno migliaia di risposte. Anzi: Google ne dà addirittura 72.600.

Questo metodo sarà sicuramente degno di un sedicente \"professional translator\", ma per chi resta....

Come si dice da queste parti, vedemo che scappa fori.


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CLS Lexi-tech
Local time: 11:05
Member (2004)
English to Italian
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Bolton ha ragione ... Jan 30, 2002

ma fino a un certo punto. Se una rondine non fa primavera, un fulmine non fa il diluvio universale.

Certo, ho notato anche io quello che tu dici, ma per una risposta cosi\' ce ne sono due o tre valide, non trovi? Penso ad altre liste dove non ci sono i punti: anche li\' ci sono quelli che chiedono sempre,quelli che non aiutano mai, che non sanno le cose facili e che fanno gli errori. E non vorremo mica buttare tutta a mare per questo? Soltanto che nel nostro sito la cosa e\' molto piu\' evidente, nero su bianco, domanda aperta e accessibile tramite glossario, ed e\' facile vedere chi sbaglia, chi dice la stupidaggine, chi e\' stanco.



Non mi disturba piu\' di tanto il signore in questione. Volevo portarlo all\'attenzione dei colleghi e basta. A me sembra un madrelingua inglese che si sente molto superiore e che fa falsi errori di inglese.



Che ne dite?



ciao



paola l m



p.s. solo per aggiungere che il sig. ABC non e\' piu\' su Proz.com.







[ This Message was edited by: on 2002-01-30 22:46 ]


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Maya Jurt  Identity Verified
Switzerland
Local time: 17:05
Member (2002)
French to German
+ ...
Gone, parti, partito... Jan 30, 2002

Can\'t se his profile, he\'s gone.

Too bad, I think I missed something.

Greetings



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Henry Dotterer
Local time: 11:05
SITE FOUNDER
fyi Jan 31, 2002

The \'profile\' in question was removed because profiles appear to outsourcers searching for legitimate service providers. I do not think it is in the interest of the community to greet potential clients with such sarcasm.



As some members have found merit in the satire of the profile, I am reposting it here in the forums. One moderator expressed the hope that the author, so talented with words, also maintains a serious profile.



--------------------------

Specialization :

Information Technology

Software

Hardware

Technical

Specialised Industry

Medical

Pharmacy

Legal

Scriptures



Background :

- The BACKGROUND:



Honours degree in Archaeology at University of Rome, 1999, I passed my Greats with a dissertation on \"The Ruins of Intelligence and the Rests of Idiocy in the Modern World, Especially among Professionals\".



PhD in Gardening, dissertation with Sir Edward Mumford Blase on \"The Giardini all\'Italiana and The Figure of Labyrinth: Is That an Attitude or What?\".



Full time professional freelance translator and reviewer since 2000. Actually, I started translating for money in 1987. Yes I was fifteen but I was full of promise, yet dad\'s spending money was not enough to buy cigarettes, filthy magazines and holy smoke. Furthermore, my auntie Gina said I was doing it very well. She was deaf and blind, but loved me very much. I started studying to acquire a position in society, yet my interest in learning and widening my knowledge was very limited and I didn\'t give a shit about it all, but I wanted an easy income with the least possible effort. My studies were mnemonic and I just can\'t remember that much of it, but the method seemed to work and I feel like recommending it strongly to the generations to come.

Next step: you know, in European countries there\'s not much chance to work without effort and competence, so I jumped at the Internet and started as a localizer.



- The AREAS OF SPECIALISATION:



In line with my educational background my areas of specialisation are Information Technology, Software, Hardware, Technical/Industry, Medical/Pharmacy, Legal, Scriptures.

I have ample experience in these sectors and I can quickly provide strictly unfounded references.



- The EXPERIENCE:



I have been a native Italian freelance translator/reviewer/editor/proofreader since 2000.

In May 2001 I set up a team with three reliable colleagues, cooperating to provide high quality results wasting little time. Let me introduce you to Mr. Jonathan Babelfish, Mrs. Gloria Altavista, Dr. Gianni Chiudoz and Dr. Juan Do Cojocojo. They are very flexible and fanciful professionals and always really pluck an unexpected solution out of a source text. Please note that they\'re collaborating with most of the professionals on this site and they represent in many cases the only reference their translations are built upon.



- MOST RECENT PROJECTS that I have been involved in are:



Microsoft Windows XP User Guide (30,000 words)

Microsoft Office XP (55,000 words)

Microsoft Knowledge Base (44,000 words)

Norton Utility Online Help (17,000 words)

Enron Inc. Website (55,000 words)

Governo Italiano Website Biographies (20,000 words)

Linux OEM Setup Wizard (45,000 words)

Aldus PM 8 Help (25,000 words)

Toshiba Elec. Website (50,000 words)

Corel Draw 10 Online Help and Corel Site Support (40,000 words)

Netscape Navigator On-Site Beta Tester (450 hours)

Oxford Inc. Italy (15,000 words)

H&C User Manual (30,000 words)

Olympus ElectroMedical Suite (35,000 words)

Elettronica Pagani Medical Appliance Manual (25,000 words)

Raytheon Inc. User Manual and First Aid Line Guides (50,000 words)

OTO Melara \"Support The Young Cripple, a Mission\", Italian publication (10,000 words)

Enron Inc. Financial (46,000 words)

ProZ Website English GUI Proofreading (55,000 words)

Aquarius Sales Policy EN>EN translation (70 words)



- REFERENCES:



References of Company and Agency Contacts that have assigned the abovementioned projects to me are available upon request and referees are kept in total ignorance.

We can also provide you with our up-to-date resumes, just ask and we make it up instantly.

Please also note that we are available to perform paid translation tests not exceeding 75 words of source text and only if you can assure us total anonymity. In fact, we still do not understand why you customers and agencies persist in forcing translators to perform free tests, whereas you should pay for this from now on, neither do we agree on the test practice itself which is plainly contrary to the entrepreneurial principle that quality doesn\'t need prove.



- The METHODS:



First, I accept a text about an argument I\'ve never heard of. Then I perform an extensive query online using Boolean smooth operators and an excellent abuse of the KudoZ system on ProZ site, eventually choosing the least reliable and most fancy solution. If this still doesn\'t help, I ask the customer to postpone the deadline asserting that the material is very challenging for a satisfying linguistic solution and I am currently involved in a fine-tuning phase.



We are always keeping ourselves up to date and are continuously involved in professional research and upgrades. We do not miss a line of the most known and crowded newsgroups and mailing lists. We do prefer Langit to Lantra because of the aseptic environment of the first. While politics are not allowed there, you can enjoy packs of rowdy translators insulting each other about rates, wordcounts, and clients, with a peculiar social attitude that poor Aristotle was wrong to consider \"political\". As a result one can improve their professionalism learning how to breed suspicion about an agency they have failed a test for, how to set up new translators guilds, how to quote jewels of funny deja-vu social theory in native German while they hardly speak a correct Italian, without any intervention of the local moderators, strictly committed to preserve the Subject syntax correctness.



- RATE POLICIES:



Our official rates are fairly rigid, based upon the material complexity, though not low. We need you to understand the reasons of these policies. We are forced to act this way in the presence of our honourable colleagues. But we are willing to grossly knock rates down in private bids or if you contact us directly.

Our rates are based upon gobbledygook accounting methods and we use the Cartella, the Canna and the Pertica as translation unit measures, according to Editto de lo Merchante which dates back to 1312, Patavia. For your convenience, let us clarify that Cartella is 65 keystrokes for a square of 60 rows per side, 360 white spaces of hypotenuse, and as long as you do not use Strong Papyrus, in which case it takes more time to count because of the peculiar sensitivity of the medium.



Bill collection must be performed no later than 30 days from the billing date and VAT code must be specified in the invoice. We reserve the right to collect on the side. Whatever cannot be safely collected on the side, please refer it to \"Donations and Charitable Acts\" so we can deduct it from our income tax return and save our souls. We are left-wingers but not morons, after all.





- SOFTWARE APPLICATIONS:

Golive

Acrobat 5.0

Photoshop 6.0

Illustrator 9.0

Acrobat 2.0 WIN FULL ML

Acrobat 3.0 Perso Ed GB

After Effects 4.1

Framemaker 6.0

Framemaker + SGML V. 6.0

Pagemaker 6.5 Plus

Photodeluxe Home Edition 4.0

Premiere 6.0

Dreamweaver 4

Flash 5.0

Fireworks 4

Dreamweaver Ultradev

Authorware 5.2

WINDOWS MILLENNIUM

WINDOWS XP HOME EDITION

WINDOWS 2000 PRO

WINDOWS XP PRO

OFFICE XP PRO

PRINTHOUSE MAGIC 4 PREMIUM

COREL PRINT OFFICE 2000

COREL DRAW 10 SUITE

Filemaker Pro 5.0

COREL PHOTO PAINT 9

COREL VENTURA 8.0



The possession of most of this software is fake. We master all the abovementioned applications with unsoundable skill. Please note that we do not usually pay for the enlisted software, though we insist that even the crappiest test we perform must be paid. Should you be getting strange notions abou that, we must clarify that we legally own trial versions of these products and when the evaluation time is over we buy another PC on which we can safely re-install it.



------------------------

- CONTACT Information:



Mario Abbiccì

Freelance native translations

Via Sonzogno, 77 - Milazzo

Italy

Email address:

marioabbicci@katamail.com (preferred)

marioabc@microsoft.com (deterred)



---------------------------



Keywords : cheap competitive unfair yuppie cynical right-minded left-winger innate-rightist flat-rate bipartisan eat-parmesan professional apolitical selfish quite-typical Pro serial-biller episodic-evader consumer the-poor?-what-is-it? In-God-we-trust-the-problem-is-to-persuade-him


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CLS Lexi-tech
Local time: 11:05
Member (2004)
English to Italian
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Thank you Henry Jan 31, 2002

I have corresponded with Mr. ABC since his profile was brought to my attention today. He does say that he wants to be constructive towards the site. My contention is that his fake/ironic/putdown profile is not constructive and does not achieve much at all.

There are those who think that irony, sarcarm and nay-saying are constructive and those who don`t.

Well, you know where I stand on this. To me the glass is always half full.



paola l m









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Roberta Anderson  Identity Verified
Italy
Local time: 17:05
Member (2001)
English to Italian
+ ...
Abbiccì on Langit Jan 31, 2002

In a recent Langit exchange, Mario Abbiccì replied in a pretty sarcastic way to a request for sw swapping, comparing it to wife swapping in its illegality - the tone was definitely sarcastic, but the point was pertinent. There\'s a grain of goodness in all of us...

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Giovanni Guarnieri MITI, MIL  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 16:05
Member (2004)
English to Italian
Henry... since we are talking about profiles being removed Jan 31, 2002

can you remove this one as well (the username is \"paenelong\" - long penis), since it\'s rude (see photo) and takes the piss out of me?

Thanks. I\'m attaching it.



Specialization :

Famoso traduttore di novelle dal 1600 a.C. specializzato nelle storie a sfondo sessuale gia\' dal 15 Ottobre 2001.

Amo L\'ozio e la vita agiata...non mi faccio mancare nulla, le traduzioni impegnative non sono il mio forte...il mio idolo è Giovanni Guarnieri di cui ammiro la sagacia e l\'intelligenza artificiale...Se il mondo fosse piu\' grande starei meglio, così il mio Paenelong ci starebbe tutto.



Background :

Parole Facili: 100.00 Euro a parola

Parole difficili: N/A

Finanza: AL VERDE

Tech: Toch

Medical: I\'m sick

Other: N/A


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CLS Lexi-tech
Local time: 11:05
Member (2004)
English to Italian
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Langit vs. Proz.com Jan 31, 2002

Roberta is right and perhaps I overreacted. I plead guilty to that. The extenuating circumstance, if any, was that this is not the first time we are targeted by Langit members who, for whatever reason, feel we are not up to par.

So be it. As one moderator wrote, translating a popular saying, you would not throw stones to a tree if it carried no apples.



have a good day



paola l m



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Giuliana Buscaglione  Identity Verified
Austria
Local time: 17:05
Member (2001)
German to Italian
+ ...
"Life is fun, but fun is not life" Jan 31, 2002

Henry,



Thank you! I believe irony should end, before it becomes ambigous or veiled offence. Yesterday I understood the pertinency of Mr. Abc\'s posting in a mailing list, but regretted his sarcastic personal attacks (the target wasn\'t me, so no revenge, only my opinion) as much as I enjoyed the very few, IMO, humorful passages in his Proz profile, but I was definitely puzzled from \"Methods\" on. I couldn\'t find anything amusing or constructive from that point on, my sense of humor wasn\'t high enough...

Still, I thought (and I STILL think) the \"type of approach\" to potential clients should be personal, but professional and veiled or less veiled fun of other colleagues\' efforts leads to lack of respect for no reason. We are much more constructive and amusing, if we criticize our own mistakes or faux pas or if we criticize something we don\'t like, but offer an alternative or propose a solution thereafter.



Giuliana
[addsig]


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Chiara Santoriello  Identity Verified
Italy
Local time: 17:05
Member (2002)
English to Italian
+ ...
Langit attacks... Jan 31, 2002

Langit attacks ProZ.com but when they do not know how to translate a text, they address to ProZ.com. See the kudoz request of Jan. 31st 2001 FR-IT clocher à peigne which was posted on Langit and then on ProZ.com.



Chiara


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Silvina Beatriz Codina  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 13:05
Member (2002)
English to Spanish
+ ...
You did the right thing when you deleted this guy Jan 31, 2002

I don\'t think Paola overreacted, and ProZ was absolutely right to zap this profile. After all, this is not The Onion, and visitors have every right to believe that the profiles found here are for real. I don\'t see how we would benefit from our prospective clients\'s believing that ProZ pros are disciples of Krusty the Klown.



About Signore Abbicì\'s sense of humor: I think he is like the MIT student who set up the Bonsai Kitten hoax, and when under fire claimed that he thought that it would be a great way to make people aware of Mankind\'s mishandling of Nature, blah, blah, blah. Signore Abbicì, also, is a lot less witty than he thinks he is, and that is a definitive no-no in a wannabe funnyman.


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