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Etiquette: thanking everyone who agrees with you
Thread poster: xxxJeffFish
xxxJeffFish
Local time: 21:25
German to English
+ ...
Mar 3, 2005

Hi all,
I'm fairly new here, but I've observed behavior by a few individuals that I find puzzling:

User A submits an answer, with which users B, C, and D subsequently agree. User A then uses the "response" feature to thank all those who agreed, regardless of whether they entered comments or not.

Is this really necessary? If some people do it (and if it isn't explicitly discouraged), will it cause a chain reaction and make everybody start to do it? Do you feel miffed if you aren't thanked for your support, or do the repeated "thanks, " messages strike you as silly?

Mind you, this applies only to responses to agreement, not grading or anything else.

Might be worthy of an addition to the FAQ, if a consensus can be reached...

Thanks in advance for your input,
Jeff Zalkind


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Edward Potter  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 21:25
Member (2003)
Spanish to English
+ ...
Agreement Mar 3, 2005

Hello there, Jeff.

I myself get an icky feeling when I see so many "thank you"s which I think are both irrelevant and sycophantic. I often get the feeling that people are "selling" their answers. For me, this backfires as I see this amateurish.

How about the rest? How do others feel about "excessive thankyouing"?


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Angela Arnone  Identity Verified
Local time: 21:25
Member (2004)
Italian to English
+ ...
Not silly! Mar 3, 2005

People are just being polite, Jeff.
Which may strike some of us sa odd in our hit-and-run, grab-it-all society!
To be honest I rarely even give agrees as I simply don't have time to read all the stuff coming in from proz, but when I do and someone thanks me I find it very sweet.
I doubt it will start a chain reaction (hasn't so far) and I also doubt that people who don't get thanked will get miffed (I never have).
This is the first time I've seen anyone ask about so it doesn't seem like an FAQ either.
Dunno what the others think?

Angela


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Atenea Acevedo  Identity Verified
Local time: 14:25
English to Spanish
+ ...
And on the other extreme... Mar 3, 2005

Some people freak out (really, even through personal e-mails) when you dare not thanking each and every kind response, even if they were not useful at all.

I guess it takes all kinds... and I do agree with you (but expect no thank you note for it )

Cheers from Mexico,
Atenea


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Mats Wiman  Identity Verified
Sweden
Local time: 21:25
Member (2000)
German to Swedish
+ ...
I might be considered rude Mar 3, 2005

because I never thank anyone agreeing with my answers. To me it's illogical.
I help the asker and someone who agrees should be thanked by the asker, not by me.
I also find it doubtful to be thanked by my peers. Am I trying to make them favorize me by thanking them excessively


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Nesrin  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 20:25
English to Arabic
+ ...
My thoughts exactly, Jeff Mar 3, 2005

Glad you brought up this (trivial) subject. I was just as surprised when I first started contributing to KudoZ. I felt that thanking others simply because they agreed with my suggestion, would be like standing on stage, having done something truly fantastic, and thanking the audience for their applause.

As a matter of principle, I only respond to agrees/ disagrees/ neutrals if they enter a comment worth responding too. Sometimes I do thank them, if their comment is "Great answer!" or something like that. I only hope it doesn't become the norm, and that people who don't thank won't suddenly be looked upon as rude...


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Elvira Stoianov  Identity Verified
Luxembourg
Local time: 21:25
German to Romanian
+ ...
I agree with Jeff Mar 3, 2005

Even more so, because each "thank you" means one more email message.
I think it's not even a matter of being polite or not, it's more an automatism.
However, if other people want to do it, I don't think you can blame them for that. But sometimes I also find it excessive.


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Kirill Semenov  Identity Verified
Ukraine
Local time: 22:25
Member (2004)
English to Russian
+ ...
The question was raised before... Mar 3, 2005

Angela Arnone wrote:
People are just being polite, Jeff.


I just cannot find the related thread, sorry. I remember that Mats considered this "thank-yous" stupid, while others kept that they are just a polite way to thank others. My own position is closer to the latter. I found my own balance for it: I don't usually thank for simple "agreees" but I always try to reply if a comment is added to any peer comment.


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Kirill Semenov  Identity Verified
Ukraine
Local time: 22:25
Member (2004)
English to Russian
+ ...
Dear Nesrin :) Mar 3, 2005

One more time, I feel as if I found a kindred soul here (which is a not rare case at proZ). I'm admiring the fact that we're sharing our opinion on replying peer comments and these "thank yous" in particular.

Nesrin wrote:
As a matter of principle, I only respond to agrees/ disagrees/ neutrals if they enter a comment worth responding too.


[Edited at 2005-03-03 19:01]


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Angela Arnone  Identity Verified
Local time: 21:25
Member (2004)
Italian to English
+ ...
It's ironical that we're having a debate about how polite one should be! Mar 3, 2005

It may be an automatic reaction to say "thanks" - I was taught to say "thank you" and I still do it to this day, even when there may be little to be thankful for.
I find it sad that everyone so far thinks that saying "thanks" is "icky" or whatever. Just because we aren't face to face it doesn't mean we can't be polite.
And although I agree with Elvira and Jeff that things can get excessive, I'd far rather it was excess in politeness than the awful tirades of rudeness, offence and aggression that seem to be far more frequent on the internet than any nice things.

Elvira Stoianov wrote:

However, if other people want to do it, I don't think you can blame them for that. But sometimes I also find it excessive.


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xxxBrandis
Local time: 21:25
English to German
+ ...
It is like having a group discussion Mar 3, 2005

Hi! did it strike you, that there are various participants, both agreeing and disagreeing. whereas a "Thank you " to all those who agree could be considered as one sided behavior, another "Thank you " to all those who disagreed, but still participated would only be right, I mean balance the picture. But if there were no "thank you " at all to anyone,that would be most unfriendly, so thank you all. A differenc of opinion about a single point, can be solved through a Thank you.
Rgds
Brandis


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Giuliana Buscaglione  Identity Verified
Austria
Local time: 21:25
Member (2001)
German to Italian
+ ...
Thanking for sharing the same opinion(?) Mar 3, 2005

Hi,

Personally, I respond to the agree of a colleague only, if (s)he has added usefull information, such as something I failed to mention, a synonym, some extra background, a link....

I tend to share Mats' and Edward's views.


Giuliana


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Angela Arnone  Identity Verified
Local time: 21:25
Member (2004)
Italian to English
+ ...
but performers do thank the audience! Mar 3, 2005

I think it's not quite the same.
As far as I know and see (having just been to a ballet of extraordinarily talented LaScala dancers), the audience's enthusiastic appreciation was met with many "grazie, grazie grazie" from the artistes.
The difference is that our answers are not extraordinary feats (well usually not!) but if we've been given a worthy peer comment then we may feel like thanking someone.
As I said, I rarely thank people unless there is something else to be added. But that's for lack of time rather than lack of inclination.

Nesrin wrote:
having done something truly fantastic, and thanking the audience for their applause.


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TonyTK
German to English
+ ...
Is this really necessary Mar 3, 2005

[quote]JeffZ wrote:

Is this really necessary?


Oh JeffZ, (How do you pronounce that? Every time I try to say it out loud, I have to wipe down my monitor.)

You have no idea. As I sit here unwashed and all alone in my bleak hovel of an office, shunned by my happy and outgoing family, toiling 12 days a day for a meagre pittance to supplement my wife's top-end salary, never seeing the friends I would love to have, often not even talking to another human being from one day to the next, it is only the "Thank you, TonyTK"s, the "Thanx" and the "Thx" that keep me going. A mere {:- makes my heart sing. I'm sure I speak for many of our colleagues when I ask: Why is there no more love in the world? Where have all the flowers gone? Who killed Cock Robin? When Will I Will I Be Famous? What's in a name? Why did the chicken cross the road? Donde esta Shakira? Why did the South African referee disallow two England tries against Ireland last week? ...

HTH
Tony


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Angela Arnone  Identity Verified
Local time: 21:25
Member (2004)
Italian to English
+ ...
For supporting my point of view Mar 3, 2005

not for "sharing the same opinion(?)" is how I understand a "thank you", Giuliana.
Just a question of perspective!


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