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Translators wanted! Extremely funny posts
Thread poster: LegalTransform

LegalTransform  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 01:13
Member (2002)
Spanish to English
+ ...
Aug 12, 2008

Hello all,

I was browsing the “translator” section of a website that offers work to all types of freelancers and found some extremely amusing posts. There are hundreds of them, but here is just a small sample. The grammar and spelling errors are not mine. Enjoy!


“I am looking for many translators that can write good English without me having to go through the articles again and again for proof reading and editing. Also I want people that honor deadlines. If you…”

“Hi! All, I need some translators for the languages Urdu, Arabic and Begali (Indian). Only native translators need to bid. Pay is $0.03 per word. I do not want machine translation. Don’t bid if you plan to do this… “

” We are currently looking for new translators to work as freelancers under us. We got several clients and has got good experience in finding new clients, but currently we only got two languages to translate to… (Budget: $30-250)..”

“Hi, I have quite few translation works coming up. I need to build a long lasting business relationship with a number of translators who will cater to my translation needs. I need translators… (Budget: $30-250…)

“Hello!!! We are looking for translators. Translators please send in your rates and a sample of your work. We can only afford $8-10 dollars per hour and would also like a sample of your work…,”

“…To back up our existing italian translators we need translators to translate several projects from english to italian language. One project is divided into around 34 chapters. 33 chapters contain 11 similar rewritten sentences…”

“Hi, I have a text and few variables in German who was translated by other people, but I would like to know if they were good boys and translated correct without online/software translator. Make bids only german native people please. I will accept it asap….”

“Checking French translations. The selected guy will have to check 23 (eventually more) articles which are written in French. I want to know if they’re written in valid French. The result of each check should be this: Select 4-5 random sentences from each article, and: 1) If they all are valid, write that the article is valid, 2) If there are any errors, mention them (for each sentence). I will pay $1/article ($1 for checking 4-5 random sentences) + $5 for fees. In order to check your skills, I will provide you with 5 URLs and you will have to tell me if they’re in valid French. Bid $28. Other bids will be ignored….”

”Japanese to English translation wanted. This is a quick and easy project for anyone who knows how to read, and type out japanese characters. Please see attached scan. I need it to be translated to english and email me in word or text document… “

“Looking for a native English-speaking person who will check the translation that we did ourselves for a new webpage. You would only have to look over the already English…”








[Edited at 2008-08-12 14:55]


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texjax DDS PhD  Identity Verified
Local time: 01:13
Member (2006)
English to Italian
+ ...
there are only 2 words... Aug 12, 2008



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Lawyer-Linguist  Identity Verified
Portugal
Local time: 06:13
Dutch to English
+ ...
Actually, there are quite a few others that spring to mind ... Aug 12, 2008

... sadly, they are not fit to be repeated here

As always though, your 'picture posts' make me laugh, thanks for brightening up the afternoon!

[Edited at 2008-08-12 15:50]


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Ivana Friis Wilson  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 06:13
Member (2008)
English to Danish
+ ...
I know the site ;) Aug 12, 2008

It is very funny, but also somewhat depressing.

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Doron Greenspan MITI  Identity Verified
Israel
Local time: 08:13
Member (2005)
English to Hebrew
+ ...
The sub-market Aug 12, 2008

Sad but true. There are such 'sub-markets' (and I don't mean markets for subs) everywhere.

In my country, one can find 'translators' who agree to earn peanuts in order to 'translate' an article in English into something resembling Hebrew so that the 'client' can get an idea of what's written there.
That, of course, in case that client hasn't already bought their thesis ready-made from some website...

Doron



[Edited at 2008-08-12 18:11]


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Lori Cirefice  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 07:13
French to English
funny? more like terrifying... Aug 12, 2008

I believe I know the site, I registered there a long time ago when I was first starting out and actually bid on a job. They needed someone to correct a series of product specification sheets, they knew there were problems with the translation. They were offering something like $30 for 15 pages, pdf no less! I was able to view the files and determined that the translation was atrocious, even misleading and possibly dangerous, the kind of stuff that could lead to a lawsuit.

I submitted my bid along with comments pointing out 4 or 5 major mistakes and the implications of the mistakes, offering my professional services for a complete re-translation (which was really needed!). Of course my price was far above their "budget" and I never heard back from them, and eventually gave up on ever finding any work there.

The "peanuts" job postings on ProZ are actually quite professional in comparison to that site.


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ViktoriaG  Identity Verified
Canada
Local time: 01:13
English to French
+ ...
Thanks, Jeff - don't know if I should laugh or cry... Aug 12, 2008

Jeff Whittaker wrote:

” We are currently looking for new translators to work as freelancers under us.


This just about summarizes it all. Why do I somehow see an image of people sitting on my face while I suffocate?


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Lynda Tharratt  Identity Verified
Local time: 01:13
Member (2006)
Spanish to English
+ ...
and the bids are even funnier... Aug 12, 2008

here are some replies to a request for an English to Spanish translation...

"My name is XXXX I work as a vocal translator from English to Spanish two days a week. I also proof read and compose materials for teaching assignments. This project is something that I can achieve. I a professional manner."

"I am fluent in Typing, reading, speaking and operating windows in both English and Spanish languages. I currently type about 65 words per minute."

and Spanish to English

"Hi, Hello, Iam XXXX from XXXXXX( INDIA) . I will use M.S word for translation work.I am expert in translate from english to spanish & mexican also. I am having 3 years exp. in this field. I did my MBA from XXXX UNIVI. XXXXX India. I am expert in translating English to French,Russian,Greek.. i will feel as an great chance if u awarded this proj to me"


I was looking for the one that really made me howl but it seems that it is no longer on the site, it was for SP>EN and read something like this:

"I can well Spanish and English, good Spanish because I tongue mother Spanish but I learn English good."


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Andrea Riffo  Identity Verified
Chile
Local time: 03:13
English to Spanish
I am quite vocal, too... Aug 12, 2008

... specially when I get some rather interesting business proposition, of the 0.02USD/word variety.



"My name is XXXX I work as a vocal translator from English to Spanish two days a week. I also proof read and compose materials for teaching assignments. This project is something that I can achieve. I a professional manner."



[Edited at 2008-08-12 22:34]


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Sara Senft  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 01:13
Spanish to English
+ ...
My imagination.... Aug 28, 2008

I'm imagining something a little more suggestive.....

Viktoria Gimbe wrote:

Jeff Whittaker wrote:

” We are currently looking for new translators to work as freelancers under us.


This just about summarizes it all. Why do I somehow see an image of people sitting on my face while I suffocate?


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Ramon Somoza  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 07:13
Member (2002)
Dutch to Spanish
+ ...
Well, that is hardly surprising Oct 4, 2008

Look at the mail I just received a few minutes ago from a so-called "translation site":

Dear Mr. Ramon Somoza,

stephanie has sent the following message to you and to other translators listed at:

http://www.XXXXXXX.com/translators/french_english.php

==============================================

hi, I am a student and I speak fluently two languages, french and english. I am very good with grammars and writting. If you need to translate something french/english or english/french. I am the person you need. PLease contact me.

==============================================


And then you wonder about that kind of posts?

[Editado a las 2008-10-04 18:19]


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Lingua 5B  Identity Verified
Bosnia and Herzegovina
Local time: 07:13
Member (2009)
English to Croatian
+ ...
Another winner Dec 4, 2008

I can't help posting this genius " translators wanted" announcement for you to see :

< quote >

Hi All,

We are established translation company based in *** for more details visit
***. Currently we are looking for the above mentioned language pair FREELANCE TRANSLATORS - (NO AGENCY PLEASE) for our project. So if you are interested and looking for a long term relationship, Kindly send us your updated word format profile with rates per word as soon as possible


Note : 1.PLEASE SEND YOUR MSN ID FOR DETAIL DISCUSSION.

2.TRANSLATORS SHOULD HAVE PAYPAL ACCOUNT WE PAY THROUGH THAT ONLY.

3. TRANSLATORS SHOULD BE NATIVE OF TARGET LANGUAGE PAIR.

< quote closed >


Jesus ! And these people are supposed to evaluate our writing, grammar and language use?

I am astonished!


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