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Thread poster: Ildiko Santana

Ildiko Santana  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 16:30
Member (2002)
English to Hungarian
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MODERATOR
Sep 9, 2003

Whether you're in the mood for laughing or crying, those tears will come: this is the perfect place to go!

http://www.engrish.com


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Lorenzo Lilli  Identity Verified
Local time: 01:30
German to Italian
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LOL! Sep 9, 2003

Just hilarious! Thanks a lot

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Mario Marcolin  Identity Verified
Sweden
Local time: 01:30
Member (2003)
English to Swedish
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And swenglish.. Sep 10, 2003

An Englishman went to a Swedish bank to open a new account. The bank teller asked him to show her his leg. He was somewhat surprised by the bank’s odd requirements but obligingly dropped his trousers…

"leg" in Swedish is short for ID(-card)



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Irena Gintilas
Local time: 18:30
Lithuanian to English
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Glossary Dec 17, 2003

The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various
words. These are the 2002 winners:

1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have
gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-
mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up
after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
proctologist immediately before he examines you.

13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddish expressions.

14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your
Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts


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Ildiko Santana  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 16:30
Member (2002)
English to Hungarian
+ ...

MODERATOR
TOPIC STARTER
and another collection from Washington Post Dec 19, 2003

Irena Gintilas wrote:
The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words...


Thanks Irena, I love these!

Did you know that readers were also asked to alter a word by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here's a few better ones:

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Frisbatarianism: The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

And, best of all...

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.


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