Off topic: A comprehensive Engrish collection!
Thread poster: Ildiko Santana
Just hilarious! Thanks a lot
The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various
words. These are the 2002 winners:
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-
mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up
after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
proctologist immediately before he examines you.
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your
Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts
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| and another collection from Washington Post || Dec 19, 2003 |
Irena Gintilas wrote:
The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words...
Thanks Irena, I love these!
Did you know that readers were also asked to alter a word by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here's a few better ones:
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Frisbatarianism: The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
And, best of all...
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
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