Off topic: Computer terms revisited Thread poster: NancyLynn
|
|---|
NancyLynn
Canada
Local time: 21:49
Member (2002)
French to English
+ ...
Moderator of this forum
Computer Terms
------------------------------------
486: The average IQ needed to understand a P.C.
State-of-the-art: Any computer you can't afford.
Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer
to become obsolete.
Computer Chip: Any starchy food stuff consumed in mass quantities
while programming.
Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse: ... See more Computer Terms
------------------------------------
486: The average IQ needed to understand a P.C.
State-of-the-art: Any computer you can't afford.
Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer
to become obsolete.
Computer Chip: Any starchy food stuff consumed in mass quantities
while programming.
Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to
generate.
Floppy: The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Hard Drive: The sales technique used by most computer salesmen.
Portable Computer: A device invented to force businessmen to work
at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
Disk Crash: A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
Power User: Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
System Update: A quick method of trashing ALL of your current
software.
==============================
Computer Terms For Rednecks
------------------------------------------------
Backup - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods
Bug - The reason you give for calling in sick
Byte - What your pitbull dun to cusin Jethro
Cache - Needed when you run out of food stamps
Chip - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in
Computer Terminal - Time to call the undertaker
Crash - When you go to Junior's party uninvited
Digital - The art of counting on your fingers
Fax - What you lie about to the IRS
Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair
Keyboard - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere
Mac - Big Bubba's favorite fast food
Modem - What ya do when the grass gets too high
Mouse Pad - Where Mickey and Minnie live
Network - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line
ROM - Where the pope lives
Screen - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch
Superconductor - Amtrak's Employee of the year
Alternative REDNECK COMPUTER LINGO:
"Hard drive" -- Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and
pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
"Keyboard" ---- Place to hang your truck keys.
"Window" ------ Place in the truck to hang your guns.
"Floppy" ------ When you run out of Polygrip.
"Modem" ------- How you got rid of your dandelions.
"ROM" --------- Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.
"Reboot" ------ What you do when the first pair gets covered with
barnyard stuff.
"Network" ----- Activity meant to provide bait for your trot line.
"Mouse" ------- Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order
to get a free case.
"LAN" -------- To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck."
"Cursor" ------ What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or
girlfriend.
"bit" --------- A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed
across the porch longways."
"digital control" -- What yore fingers do on the TV remote.
"packet" ------ What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a trip. ▲ Collapse
| | | |
Jack Doughty 
United Kingdom
Local time: 02:49
Russian to English
+ ...
In memoriam | Computer terms illustrated | Jan 27, 2004 |
| | | |
sarahl (X)
Local time: 18:49
English to French
+ ...
[Edited at 2004-01-28 06:05]
| | | |
sarahl (X)
Local time: 18:49
English to French
+ ...
Hey, Nancy!
You forgot the most defective component in any computer:
the keyboard to chair interface.
| | | |
To report site rules violations or get help, contact a site moderator:
You can also contact site staff by
submitting a support request » 
Login to reply/comment 
