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Jokes on language and translation
Thread poster: Aurora Humarán
Aurora Humarán  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 21:03
English to Spanish
+ ...
Apr 12, 2005

What about having here our own collection of jokes on translation/language?

There are several links in the Internet, but:

1) Not all of the jokes are good.
2) Long lists are sometimes discouraging (at least to me: I get bored)

Perhaps ... we could enjoy them one by one?

Au

Here goes the first one.


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Aurora Humarán  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 21:03
English to Spanish
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Tradittore... Apr 12, 2005

A Spanish speaking bandit held up a bank in Tucson. The sheriff and his deputy chased him. When they captured him, and the sheriff, who couldn't speak Spanish, asked him where he'd hidden the money. "No sé nada," he replied.

The sheriff put a gun to the bandit's head and said to his bi-lingual deputy: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell us where the money is right now, I'll blow his brains out."

Upon receiving the translation, the bandit became very animated. "¡Ya me acuerdo! Tienen que caminar tres cuadras hasta ese gran arbol: allí está el dinero."

The sheriff leaned forward. "Yeah? Well..?"

The deputy replied: "He says he wants to die like a man."


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NancyLynn
Canada
Local time: 20:03
Member (2002)
French to English
+ ...
Moving this topic... Apr 12, 2005

...to the Lighter Side of Translation and Interpretation forum.

Nancy


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Pamela Peralta  Identity Verified
Peru
Local time: 19:03
English to Spanish
+ ...
Funny Apr 12, 2005

Aurora Humarán wrote:
The deputy replied: "He says he wants to die like a man."




Pamela


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Aurora Humarán  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 21:03
English to Spanish
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
... Apr 12, 2005

"I've just had the most awful time," said a boy to his friends. "First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy."

"Wow! How did you pull through?" sympathized his friends.

"I don't know," the boy replied. "Toughest spelling test I ever had."


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Aurora Humarán  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 21:03
English to Spanish
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Subtleties... Apr 12, 2005

The linguist's husband walked in and caught his wife sleeping with a young co-ed. He said, "Why, Susan, I'm surprised."
She bolted upright, pointed her finger and corrected him, "No. I am surprised. You are astonished."


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Steven Sidore  Identity Verified
Germany
Local time: 01:03
Member (2003)
German to English
And you thought you were something special... Apr 12, 2005

Two cops are hanging around on a corner in the former East Germany shortly after the Wall fell. Up ride two bicyclists from England, looking for directions.

"I don't speak German," one says to one of the cops, "Might you speak English?"
The cops shrug with incomprehension.
"Parlez vous francais," the biker says, non-plussed.
More shrugs.
"Parla Italiano?"
Shrugs
"Habla Espanol?"
Same thing. The guy even tries Portuguese and Latin, no luck.
Finally the bikers ride off, frustrated.
One cop looks at the other and says, "Hey, that guy spoke 6 languages!"
The first one shrugs one last time. "Yeah well, what good did it do him?"


[Edited at 2005-04-12 14:29]


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Aurora Humarán  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 21:03
English to Spanish
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
... Apr 12, 2005

If the translator is a man, HE translates.
If the translator is a woman, SHE translates.
If the translator is a computer, IT translates.
If the translator is either a man or a woman, S/HE translates.
Whether the translator is a man, a woman or a computer, S/H/IT
translates.

Sergio Viaggio


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Wendy Cummings  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 00:03
Member (2006)
Spanish to English
+ ...
:o) Apr 18, 2005

Aurora Humarán wrote:

The linguist's husband walked in and caught his wife sleeping with a young co-ed. He said, "Why, Susan, I'm surprised."
She bolted upright, pointed her finger and corrected him, "No. I am surprised. You are astonished."



fantastic!!!


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Aurora Humarán  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 21:03
English to Spanish
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
doublespeak Apr 23, 2005

A former secretary of commerce liked to tell how a high ranking official once responded to a subordinate's request for a raise by saying, "Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to governmental statistics, it would be momentarily injudicious to advocate an incremental increase."

The staff person said, "I don't get it."

The official said, "That's right."


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Jack Doughty  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 00:03
Member (2000)
Russian to English
+ ...
Double-, triple-, quadruple-speak at your disposal Apr 28, 2005

Au's last posting reminded me of this one which someone posted on 1st April. I thought it would be worth repeating it here,

Translagra
Blue pill for translators

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How it works:
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An example?
Just look at what happens to the first lines of this ad…

Translagra
Potency pharmaceutical for people who translate from one language into another

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http://www.you-guessed-it-April-Fool!.com


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Aurora Humarán  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 21:03
English to Spanish
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
The top ten misconceptions about translation May 1, 2005

10. Anybody with two years of high school language (or a foreign-tongued grandmother) can translate.

9. A good translator doesn't need a dictionary.

8. There's no difference between translation and interpretation.

7. Translators don't mind working nights and weekends at no extra charge.

6. Translators don't need to understand what they're translating.

5. A good translator doesn't need proofing or editing.

4. Becoming a translator is an easy way to get rich quick.

3. Translation is just typing in a foreign language.

2. A translator costs $49.95 at Radio Shack and runs on two 'C' batteries.

And the #1 misconception about translation and translators:

1. That marketing copy that took a team of 20 people two months to put together can be translated overnight by one Person and still retain the same impact as the original.


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NancyLynn
Canada
Local time: 20:03
Member (2002)
French to English
+ ...
LOL Aurora, how true! May 1, 2005

I have forwarded this to colleagues and friends (some of the latter don't really understand this career, and say things like 'I could do that if I had the time' or even better: 'I worked in a Greek restaurant for 4 years, after all' (this one from my brother-in-law, thinking he can open up a translation agency because the restaurant in question went out of business)) but some clients could do with a thoughtful readthrough of your list

thanks Aurora

Nancy


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Aurora Humarán  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 21:03
English to Spanish
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
about freelancers... May 1, 2005

How does a freelancer define "weekend"?
Two working days till Monday.




(Thank you, Terry!)


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Aurora Humarán  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 21:03
English to Spanish
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
:-))) May 1, 2005

NancyLynn wrote:

I have forwarded this to colleagues and friends (some of the latter don't really understand this career, and say things like 'I could do that if I had the time' or even better: 'I worked in a Greek restaurant for 4 years, after all' (this one from my brother-in-law, thinking he can open up a translation agency because the restaurant in question went out of business)) but some clients could do with a thoughtful readthrough of your list

thanks Aurora

Nancy



Unfortunately I don't know who the author is but it is so true that one does not know whether to laugh or cry.

(There is nothing as serious as a joke. Freud)

Au


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