Off topic: Tongue-in-cheek Seasons Greetings for cautious people Thread poster: writeaway
|
|---|
This is an email that seems to be making the rounds. Enjoy. 
Dear All,
I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my colleagues and customers, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my attorney yesterday, and on his advice I wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or impli... See more This is an email that seems to be making the rounds. Enjoy.
Dear All,
I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my colleagues and customers, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my attorney yesterday, and on his advice I wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive, gender neutral celebration of the holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted Gregorian calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures, and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whi chever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher. Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.
Disclaimer: The contents of this email and any attachment thereto are intended exclusively for the attention of the addressee(s). The email and any su ch attachment(s) may contain information that is confidential and protected on the strength of professional, official or business secrecy laws and regulations or contractual obligations. Should you have received this email by mistake, you may neither make use of nor divulge the contents of the email or of any atta chment thereto. In such a case, please inform the email's sender and delete the message and all attachments without delay from your systems. ▲ Collapse
| | | |
That's so horrible
| | | | | but clever... ! | Dec 23, 2006 |
Maria Diaconu wrote: That's so horrible
And with a point. I like to wish people Happy Christmas, because it is something which I participate in, and in no way wish to insist that others participate in. Just to receive a greeting of good will and prosperity for them!
I so liked this comment ...
from forum http://www.proz.com/topic/62228 where, at 10:40am, .... Victor Dewsbery wrote: Most translated story in the world? Yep, it's the season when we celebrate what must be about the most translated story in the world - the birth of a little kid in a small Middle East country over 2,000 years ago. (Just happens that that little kid is still a friend of mine today.) So happy Christmas to everyone. And happy holiday season to everyone who can't relate to Christmas, too.
I liked the last part! Our greetings to EVERYONE who makes this site such a pleasure to be a part of, and, I think, expresses much joy, goodwill and wishes for prosperity (and allows room for the "lighter side"!). So I say, thanks, writeaway and all of you, and I add my own best wishes for everyone at this time.
Bill
[Edited at 2006-12-23 13:32]
[Edited at 2006-12-23 15:35]
| | | | | Not cautious enough, I fear | Dec 23, 2006 |
writeaway wrote:
I also wish you a fiscally successful...
I utterly resent the implication that monetary reward could possibly be a measure of the satisfaction that 2007 may or may not bring me.
Talk about imposing your value systems on others!!
Just goes to show how impossible it is to please all the people all of the time. So screw all that, and Happy Christmas
| | |
|
|
|
Henk Peelen 
Netherlands
Local time: 22:26
Member (2002)
German to Dutch
+ ...
SITE LOCALIZER | A Picture Says More Than A Thousand Words | Dec 23, 2006 |
| | | | | | | Thank you... | Dec 23, 2006 |
Thank you very much, Henk! The same to you!
Bill
[Edited at 2006-12-23 18:25]
| | | | transparx
United States
Local time: 16:26
English to Italian
+ ...
William [Bill] Gray wrote:
but clever... !
| | |
|
|
|
| | | The Angel Atop The Tree Tradition... | Dec 24, 2006 |
One Christmas, Santa was having a really bad day. The local elves union was up in arms over their contract and were threatening a walk-out. Mrs. Clause was p***** that Santa was never around to appreciate all of the hard work she had been doing around the house. Santa decided he needed to go home, sit in front of a fire and relax.
When he got there, Miss Clause was all up in his face and wouldn't let down. Then, there was a knock on the door. It was Rudolph. He said the reindeer we... See more One Christmas, Santa was having a really bad day. The local elves union was up in arms over their contract and were threatening a walk-out. Mrs. Clause was p***** that Santa was never around to appreciate all of the hard work she had been doing around the house. Santa decided he needed to go home, sit in front of a fire and relax.
When he got there, Miss Clause was all up in his face and wouldn't let down. Then, there was a knock on the door. It was Rudolph. He said the reindeer were sick and tired of Santa not upgrading to the new lightweight sliegh and they were joining the elves walkout. Santa slammed the door and threatend "The next person who knocks on that door is gonna get it!"
At that time, there was a knock on the door. Santa flung the door open and there stood a tiny little angel. The angel had been searching for the perfect Christmas tree for Santa's house all day long, until it found the perfect one. The little angel asked, "Santa, I was wondering where you would like me to stick this tree?"
And that is the story of how the angel atop the tree tradition began. ▲ Collapse
| | | | Chantal Kamgne
Canada
Local time: 16:26
Member (2006)
English to French
SITE LOCALIZER | Seasons greatings | Dec 24, 2006 |
writeaway wrote: This is an email that seems to be making the rounds. Enjoy.
I did
Merry Christmas.
| | | | |
|
|
|
Stephen Rifkind
Israel
Local time: 23:26
Member (2004)
French to English
+ ...
| Culinary alternative | Dec 26, 2006 |
Why not just "Seasoned Greetings" since everybody likes eating something, even if it is only chocolate!
| | | | | another version of greetings | Dec 27, 2006 |
How about sea-sun greetings? For those in the seas of South, though Merry Christmas sounds much more familiar to me.
| | | | To report site rules violations or get help, contact a site moderator: You can also contact site staff by submitting a support request » Tongue-in-cheek Seasons Greetings for cautious people | TM-Town | Manage your TMs and Terms ... and boost your translation business
Are you ready for something fresh in the industry? TM-Town is a unique new site for you -- the freelance translator -- to store, manage and share translation memories (TMs) and glossaries...and potentially meet new clients on the basis of your prior work.
More info » |
| | Protemos translation business management system | Create your account in minutes, and start working! 3-month trial for agencies, and free for freelancers!
The system lets you keep client/vendor database, with contacts and rates, manage projects and assign jobs to vendors, issue invoices, track payments, store and manage project files, generate business reports on turnover profit per client/manager etc.
More info » |
|
| | | | X Sign in to your ProZ.com account... | | | | | |
![William [Bill] Gray](https://cfcdn.proz.com/profile_resources/130405_r43c0e14f4c70f.jpg)
Login to reply/comment 
