Off topic: Joke about translators
Thread poster: Nina Khmielnitzky

Nina Khmielnitzky  Identity Verified
Canada
Local time: 08:58
Member (2004)
English to French
Feb 5, 2007

Recently, several cannibals were employed to increase diversity. You are all part of our team now," said the Human Resources rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any employees."

The cannibals promised they would not.

Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard and I'm satisfied with your work. We have noticed a marked increase in the whole company's performance. However, one of our Translators from the 3rd floor has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?"

The cannibals all shook their heads, "No."

After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate that Translator?" A hand rose hesitantly.

"You fool!" the leader continued. "For four weeks we've been eating managers and VP's and no one noticed anything. But NOOOooo, you had to go and eat someone who actually does something!"


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Will Matter  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 05:58
English
+ ...
Very funny Feb 5, 2007

Thanks for starting my day off right.

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Hipyan Nopri  Identity Verified
Indonesia
Local time: 19:58
English to Indonesian
+ ...
Really Amusing Feb 5, 2007

Hi Nina,

It's really an amusing joke that relaxes my mind and body after non-stop working all day.:):)


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Jalapeno
Local time: 14:58
English to German
Another one ... Feb 5, 2007

Q: How many translators does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Depends on the context ...


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satish krishna itikela  Identity Verified
India
Local time: 18:28
Member (2011)
English to Telugu
+ ...
"Very funny" Feb 5, 2007

Hi,

Until seeing this joke i was unable to believe about the jokes on translators and translation industry. Any way thanks alot for the fine joke.

Have a nice time enjoying this joke.


Regards,
Satish.


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Mundi
Local time: 14:58
French to English
+ ...
Loved it Feb 5, 2007

That's a good joke.

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georgina singh  Identity Verified
India
Local time: 18:28
Tamil to English
+ ...
Bravo, Nina!!! Feb 5, 2007

You pulled a good one Nina.......I'm still smiling!

You hit the nail on the head!! Translators are an important lot!!!

Love,

Georgina


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Jan Peelen
Local time: 08:58
Dutch to English
+ ...
Haha Feb 5, 2007

Lol liked that one. Jalapeno's had me laughing too.

Here's one:

Language Barrier

Two highway workers were busy working at a construction site when a big car
with diplomatic license plates pulled up.
"Parlez-vous français?" the driver asks them. The two
workers just stared.
"Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" The two continued to stare at him.
"Fala português?" Neither worker said anything.
"Parlate Italiano?" Still no response.
Finally, the man drives off in disgust.
One worker turned to the other and said, "Gee, maybe we should learn a
foreign language..."
"What for? That guy knew four of them and what good did it do him?"


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Nina Khmielnitzky  Identity Verified
Canada
Local time: 08:58
Member (2004)
English to French
TOPIC STARTER
Add-on Feb 5, 2007

Jalapeno wrote:

Q: How many translators does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Depends on the context ...


And if it comes with a reference document...


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Henrik Pipoyan  Identity Verified
Local time: 16:58
Member (2004)
English to Armenian
It depends Feb 5, 2007

Jalapeno wrote:

Q: How many translators does it take to change a lightbulb?



If it’s a medical bulb requiring back-translation, than at least two translators. One of them changes the bulb, and the other one changes it back.

If it’s some other type of bulb, than one translator and one independent editor. The translator changes the bulb, and the editor breaks it.

And if it’s with Trados, you just switch on Trados, and it screws the bulb into the faucet with 80% fuzzy match.

[Edited at 2007-02-05 20:56]


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Moreechika
Bangladesh
Local time: 18:58
Member (2009)
English to Bengali
+ ...
Naughty naughty translator.... Feb 5, 2007

Here is one that kept me chuckling throughout the day :



" A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture and an enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six- shooter to the bandit's head, and said, "You're under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out." But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. Fortunately, a translator was in the saloon and offers to translate for the Ranger. He tells the bandit, he is under arrest, and the ranger wants to know where he hid the loot. The bandit replies in Spanish "Go to hell!". The ranger tells the translator "Did you tell him I will shoot him, if he doesn't tell me?". The translator repeats this to the bandit. The bandit spits at the ranger. The ranger shoots him in the kneecap and puts the gun again to the bandits head. He tells the translator "Tell him this is his last chance. He tells me where the money is, or I kill him." The bandit is screaming in pain and cursing the ranger. But he is also scared for his life now. The terrified bandit blurts out, in Spanish, that the money from all his robberies is buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina. "What did he say?" asks the Ranger. The translator answers, "He said 'Get lost, Gringo. You wouldn't dare kill me." "





[Edited at 2007-02-05 23:17]


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Amy Duncan  Identity Verified
Brazil
Local time: 09:58
Portuguese to English
+ ...
Couldn't resist one more... Feb 5, 2007

A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit's head, and said,
"You're under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out."
But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish.
As luck would have it, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger's message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina.
"What did he say?" asked the Ranger.
The lawyer answered, "He said, 'Get lost, Gringo. You wouldn't dare shoot me.'"



[Edited at 2007-02-05 22:00]



[Edited at 2007-02-05 23:34]


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NancyLynn
Canada
Local time: 08:58
Member (2002)
French to English
+ ...

Moderator of this forum
What a funny coincidence! Feb 6, 2007

Identical jokes coming at approximately the same time, from opposite ends off the earth! Wow! I love Internet

Nancy


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William [Bill] Gray  Identity Verified
Norway
Local time: 14:58
Member (2006)
English
+ ...
Yes... Feb 6, 2007

NancyLynn wrote:

Identical jokes coming at approximately the same time, from opposite ends off the earth! Wow! I love Internet

Nancy


And I love ProZ.com. Look at the light relief we get, along with Kudos, jobs, forums, and not least, a trip to Budapest!!

Bill


[Edited at 2007-02-06 12:31]


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Ledja  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 13:58
Member (2008)
English to Albanian
+ ...
True story Mar 24, 2007

This happened to my sister in her college times.

In a school trip to Montenegro, she and a few friends went into a store to ask the sales assistant where they might find some stationery and equipment. Tried their best in serbo-croatian and gestures, but came out none the wiser. A minute later someone from the group walked out of the store and told them where to go.
"I didn't know you knew serbo-croatian." - remarked my sister.
"I don't," - came the reply. - "The sales assistant was Albanian."


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