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Off topic: The beauty of words and silence
Thread poster: K. Ponnan
K. Ponnan  Identity Verified
Malaysia
Local time: 17:15
English to Tamil
+ ...
Apr 13, 2007

I am sure you will enjoy reading this. It came in my Tamil mailing list:

WIFE vs HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men"

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 a.m. for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 a.m." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 a.m. and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 a.m. Wake up."


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Juliana Starkman  Identity Verified
Israel
Local time: 04:15
Spanish to English
+ ...
Must have been written by a married person... Apr 13, 2007

I loved the jokes, altough some were shockingly close to home. Thanks for the laugh; I'm coming off a crazy deadline and really appreciate the good energy jolt...

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K. Ponnan  Identity Verified
Malaysia
Local time: 17:15
English to Tamil
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Probably by a woman? Apr 14, 2007

Yes, I too think so. Maybe by a woman. Probably by someone who had been silenced for too long ... ? Or someone just waiting to wring her partner's neck ..?

It gave me a good laugh in the midst of work and thought that is exactly what proz members needed too.


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teju  Identity Verified
Local time: 02:15
English to Spanish
+ ...
Thank you for the laughs Apr 14, 2007

KPonnan wrote: The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 a.m. for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 a.m." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 a.m. and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 a.m. Wake up."


This reminded me of something that really happened recently in the town where I live (in the US). They have installed cameras at most intersections to fine those who run a red light. A photo is taken when someone doesn't stop on time, identifying the license plate of the offender, he then receives the fine in the mail a few days later, much to his surprise. The newspaper reported how this man had been mailed a fine, with a picture of him driving through a red light. The fine was $40. Irate, and thinking that it was unfair, the man took a picture of two $20 bills, and mailed it back in the envelope provided to pay for the fine. The police was not amused, but upped the ante. In return, the red-light runner received another envelope from the police, this time with a picture of a set of handcuffs. The man got the point and sent a check. And that was the end of that.

Keep the funny stories coming please!

teju

[Edited at 2007-04-14 04:02]


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lingomania
Local time: 19:15
Italian to English
Married life Apr 22, 2007

Oscar Wilde: "Marriage is the tomb of love"!

[Edited at 2007-04-22 00:09]


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