Off topic: Spoof glossary definitions - governmentium, isodopes, morons, critical morass
Thread poster: Jack Doughty

Jack Doughty  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 23:58
Member (2000)
Russian to English
+ ...
Dec 15, 2002

GOVERNMENTIUM------A NEW ELEMENT



A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element known to science. The new element has been tentatively named \"Governmentium .\"



Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.



Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.



Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium\'s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.



This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as \"Critical Morass.\"



You will know it when you see it...





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Nathalie M. Girard, ALHC  Identity Verified
English to French
+ ...
Very funny Jack Dec 15, 2002

Hi Jack!



Thanks for the laugh... very cute



Nath


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JCEC  Identity Verified
Canada
Local time: 18:58
Member
English to French
Late Breaking News Dec 15, 2002

Following closely in the footsteps of their anglophone counterparts, researchers from the Quebec Organized Life Foundation (OLF) have discovered a new virus aptly named termovirus.



This insidious virus attacks a normally stable terminology strand known to ProZ users as Termium causing the mutation of anglions to frenchions.



Could this be a new weapon in the war for the supremacy of the French language ?



John



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Steffen Walter  Identity Verified
Germany
Local time: 00:58
Member (2002)
English to German
+ ...
This one's going to go up into the Top 10... Dec 18, 2002

of my \"Hall of Fame\" of humorous bits and pieces. Thanks a lot Jack!



But Tony Blair et al. would not be amused...



Steffen


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Spoof glossary definitions - governmentium, isodopes, morons, critical morass

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