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Off topic: The Little Translator claws his way back
Thread poster: Mervyn Henderson

Mervyn Henderson  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 11:07
Member
Spanish to English
+ ...
Oct 2, 2007

Back from a virtual grave, folks. Whew - Mr. Bossyboots thought he’d done me in good and proper – maybe he’s just jealous and doesn’t want a potential competitor who’s learning much too fast. He pressed the Destroy button, but he never wiped me from the hard drive. So I hyperspaced and hypermetamorphosed around in here, and hyperventilated a little too, and I’ve returned, bloody but unbowed.

Although I was tempted just to give up the ghost after all those nasty things he said about me. Very cruel, don’t you think? I’ve been pondering on them ever since. I disgraced myself, true, lost control a bit, got certain people’s pigtails in a pandemonium and messed with the powers-that-be, but I’ve moved on from the experience, I’ll tell you.

Little Translator’s had a lot of freelance offers since the dabblings in Pros.com, too, so I’m trying to deal with them from the bowels of his laptop. Mostly dodgy cut-price jobs, though, with the likes of Fred Hollingsworth on the lookout for gullible rookies.

So I’m thinking of a name change to give myself more of an air of plausibility, perhaps retaining the LT sobriquet but giving it a real name. Little Translator conjures up the idea of, well, a tiny weensy little translator, and littleness isn’t good for business … Something more lofty, maybe. Lucius Trondheim & Associates, perhaps. Longfellow & Trollope? Lassiter & Tuftsbury? Any suggestions gratefully received.

I do have quite a good sales patter now, though. Whenever anyone rings me and asks what my rate is, I say 0.07. What I actually say is “Double-O-Seven”. Then there is a kind of enigmatic pause, and if they don’t say it I say it for them: “Like James Bond, you know”. (another pause) “Translating, I mean”, I go on. “Of course, if you want me to canoodle around in hotel rooms drinking Martinis shaken not stirred with gorgeous murderous Russian spies, zip around the canals of Venice in a souped-up gondola with some megalomaniac’s dwarves and thugs with dental problems in hot pursuit, pick them all off one by one, and escape from alligator-filled tanks by helicopter … well, that can all be arranged, of course”, I tell them, ever so debonair. “ … but it comes a little more expensive, naturally”.

I don’t expect it to work all the time, though. The last inquirer had hung up even before I reached the bit about the gondola.

All good for publicity, though. That old fraud Brookesduddy told us Oscar Wilde said that once, “There is no such thing as bad publicity”. Course, he said that well before he ended up in Reading Gaol after a spot of VERY bad publicity.


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Marie-Hélène Hayles  Identity Verified
Local time: 11:07
Italian to English
+ ...
Delusions of Grandeur? Oct 2, 2007

Little Translator, you seem to be suffering from some delusions of grandeur here. OK, so you successfully dealt with (and even got paid for) your first translation, you've lived down the shame of ending up in court, healed your wounds from your drunken run-in with ladies uninterested in the opposite sex and emerged bloodied but unbowed from the bowels of Mervyn's computer, but that doesn't make you superman... or even supertranslator!

I suggest Little & Co Translations as your new title, just to keep you down to size.

[Edited at 2007-10-02 09:41]


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Mervyn Henderson  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 11:07
Member
Spanish to English
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible Oct 2, 2007

Quite right, Marie-Hélène. I'm dreadfully sorry about all this. The little squirt seems to have found a way of transmitting autonomously. Who does he think he is? I'll see what I can do.


Mervyn


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Margreet Logmans  Identity Verified
Netherlands
Local time: 11:07
English to Dutch
+ ...
Welcome back! Oct 2, 2007

Nice to see you again!

Mervyn, I'm afraid Anti-Virus tools don't work for dectecting hidden competitors on your hard drive. By the way, what keyboard do you use? Mine doesn't have a Destroy button. There's times when I would like to have one though

Best,
Margreet


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French Foodie  Identity Verified
Local time: 11:07
French to English
+ ...
Hurray! Oct 2, 2007

Little Translator is back, deluded or not, I'm happy to see him.

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Catherine Brix
Local time: 11:07
Swedish to English
+ ...
Hurray x 2! Oct 2, 2007

You sneaky little minx, finding your way back like that. Well done!

And never mind Marie-Hélène - Oscar Wilde also said "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."

Mervyn, thanks!

[Edited at 2007-10-03 06:30]


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Marie-Hélène Hayles  Identity Verified
Local time: 11:07
Italian to English
+ ...
Watch out chaps... Oct 2, 2007

before you know it LT will be undercutting us for jobs on pros.com and asking 10,000 kudos questions a day to get us to do his work for him!



[Edited at 2007-10-03 07:01]


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Andres & Leticia Enjuto  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 06:07
Member (2005)
English to Spanish
+ ...
So good... Oct 2, 2007

...to hear from you again, LT!

I don't think LT would dare to demolish his image by asking kudoz questions all day long!

Happy to see you around, LT!

Thanks, Mervyn

Letty (LT's fan)


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Gabriel Csaba  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 06:07
English to Spanish
+ ...
HA! Mar 16, 2009

Margreet Logmans wrote:
Mine doesn't have a Destroy button.


I'm revisiting LT's adventures and, as hilarious as they are, it was this single line that made my day just now.


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Vitals  Identity Verified
Lithuania
Local time: 12:07
Member (2008)
English to Lithuanian
+ ...
LT May 9, 2009

LT is the international abbreviation for Lithuania... A small, but very independent country. We always knew there were some true Lithuanian roots in this hero...to be proud of.

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Carla Guerreiro  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 11:07
French to Portuguese
+ ...
A very, very nice country! May 10, 2009

Hi Vitals,

I visited your country in 1997 and I liked it very, very much!

]Vitals wrote:

LT is the international abbreviation for Lithuania... A small, but very independent country. We always knew there were some true Lithuanian roots in this hero...to be proud of. [/quote]


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