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Off topic: Euro-English
Thread poster: swisstell

Local time: 14:03
German to English
+ ...
Dec 12, 2007

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond years when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, poublik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze uneserary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a riel sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand each oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru!
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

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Lawyer-Linguist  Identity Verified
Local time: 13:03
Dutch to English
+ ...
Stale .... Dec 12, 2007

...., although I suppose it was funny the first couple of times.

[Edited at 2007-12-12 17:59]

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Amy Williams  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 13:03
Italian to English
+ ...
Euro-English Dec 12, 2007

A few earlier discussions on this one:

[Edited at 2007-12-12 17:51]

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patyjs  Identity Verified
Local time: 07:03
Spanish to English
+ ...
Well it's no less clever and funny... Dec 12, 2007

I've seen this before, too, but it's still funny and definitely worth revisiting.

Thanks, SwissTell

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lexical  Identity Verified
Local time: 14:03
Portuguese to English
And the frightening thing is that... Dec 12, 2007

...knowing the way the European Commission behaves, it could so easily happen.

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Thomas Pfann  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 13:03
Member (2006)
English to German
+ ...
But then the reassuring thing is that... Dec 12, 2007

...knowing the way the British Government and public behave, it wouldn't really affect us. ("The EC decided what? Well, are we bothered?")

lexical wrote:
And the frightening thing is that...

...knowing the way the European Commission behaves, it could so easily happen.

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