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Translating Julio Cortázar
Thread poster: Cristina Pulido-Vielma

Cristina Pulido-Vielma  Identity Verified
Canada
Local time: 04:08
English to Spanish
+ ...
Dec 14, 2006

To those who do this professionaly (I am only a beginner) Would this be a proper translation of the poem Amor77?

Y después de hacer todo lo que hacen se levantan, se bañan, se entalcan, se perfuman, se visten, y así progresivamente van volviendo a ser lo que no son.
_________________________
And after doing everything they do they raise, they bathe, they put powder and perfume on, they get dressed, and progressively they return to being what they are not.

Feel free to reply to me if it's considered "off-topic".

Chuss


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Roomy Naqvy  Identity Verified
India
Local time: 13:38
English to Hindi
+ ...
Translating Cortazar Dec 14, 2006

I'm not a Cortazar expert...though I have read him and he's a great writer. I am sure our colleagues would tell you what they think but I would like to state here, that unless, you make a patently wrong translation, there isn't much that could be wrong.

Roomy


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Wenjer Leuschel  Identity Verified
Taiwan
Local time: 16:08
English to Chinese
+ ...
Not too bad at all Dec 14, 2006

chuss wrote:

Y después de hacer todo lo que hacen se levantan, se bañan, se entalcan, se perfuman, se visten, y así progresivamente van volviendo a ser lo que no son.
_________________________
And after doing everything they do they raise, they bathe, they put powder and perfume on, they get dressed, and progressively they return to being what they are not.


¡Hóla, chuss!

1. "después de hacer todo lo que hacen " could be "after doing all what they do."

2. "así progresivamente van volviendo a ser lo que no son" could be "thus they gradually return to becoming what they are not."

Welcome and do stay. You'll find some more of those guys who are already what they aren't round here, at times.

Saludos,
Wenjer


[Edited at 2006-12-14 01:45]


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Helen Filippou
Local time: 04:08
English to Spanish
+ ...
Just a change or two Dec 14, 2006

"Se levantan" means "they get out of bed". The rest is fine.

Suerte
Helen


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Cristina Pulido-Vielma  Identity Verified
Canada
Local time: 04:08
English to Spanish
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Thanks Helen, Wenjer Dec 14, 2006

for your contributions to my post.

Is there any other way of saying "they get out of bed"? It sounds different in Spanish. "Levantarse de la cama" as opposed to just "levantarse"...

Chuss


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Wenjer Leuschel  Identity Verified
Taiwan
Local time: 16:08
English to Chinese
+ ...
A matter of "gusto" Dec 14, 2006

Helen Filippou wrote:

"Se levantan" means "they get out of bed". The rest is fine.

Suerte
Helen


Hi Helen,

Yes, the translation is all right.

However, I wouldn't translate "se levantan" so blatantly into "they get out of bed." Levantarse isn't necessarily out of bed. It could be anything else and that's one of the tricks of literature and translation.

Anyway, I like this Amor77 and the translation of chuss does help understand its import.

- Wenjer


[Edited at 2006-12-14 03:11]


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Maria Karra  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 04:08
Member (2000)
Greek to English
+ ...
se levantan Dec 14, 2006

chuss wrote:
Is there any other way of saying "they get out of bed"? It sounds different in Spanish. "Levantarse de la cama" as opposed to just "levantarse"...


They get up.

Maria


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Patricia Rosas  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 01:08
Spanish to English
+ ...
they rise ... Dec 14, 2006

Helen Filippou wrote:



"Se levantan" means "they get out of bed". The rest is fine.

Suerte
Helen


There was a tiny error (typo?) raise should "rise" --and after doing everything they do, they rise ...

I would prefer that to "get out of bed" because "they rise" poetically implies that they are getting up ...

Welcome to ProZ!


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Wenjer Leuschel  Identity Verified
Taiwan
Local time: 16:08
English to Chinese
+ ...
Agrí Dec 14, 2006

Patricia Rosas wrote:

There was a tiny error (typo?) raise should "rise" --and after doing everything they do, they rise ...

I would prefer that to "get out of bed" because "they rise" poetically implies that they are getting up ...

Welcome to ProZ!


Right, to get up or to rise would be a proper translation.


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William [Bill] Gray  Identity Verified
Norway
Local time: 09:08
Member (2006)
English
+ ...
You could try this solution... Dec 14, 2006

chuss wrote:

for your contributions to my post.

Is there any other way of saying "they get out of bed"? It sounds different in Spanish. "Levantarse de la cama" as opposed to just "levantarse"...

Chuss


AND

Patricia Rosas wrote:

There was a tiny error (typo?) raise should "rise" --and after doing everything they do, they rise ...

I would prefer that to "get out of bed" because "they rise" poetically implies that they are getting up ...


You could try
"they rise from their beds/sleep/rest"
to try and incorporate both ideas.

And I echo, welcome to ProZ, the friendliest, most useful and fun place for translators!!

Bill



PS. An afterthought: a few less pronouns, and a little more alliteration!

"And after doing all they do they rise from their beds, they bathe, powder and perfume their persons, they dress, and progressively return to being what they are not."



[Edited at 2006-12-14 10:34]


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Helen Filippou
Local time: 04:08
English to Spanish
+ ...
"They rise" Dec 14, 2006

They rise, sounds a little awkward to me in English. It seems to me, that the list suggests the daily activities one goes through after awakening. Maybe, "they get up" to suggest that they get up after a night of sleep.

Literary translations open up a whole world of nuances, don't they?

Suerte
Helen


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Cristina Pulido-Vielma  Identity Verified
Canada
Local time: 04:08
English to Spanish
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Lovers Dec 14, 2006

William [Bill] Gray wrote:

And I echo, welcome to ProZ, the friendliest, most useful and fun place for translators!!

Bill



Thank you, Bill


PS. An afterthought: a few less pronouns, and a little more alliteration!

"And after doing all they do they rise from their beds, they bathe, powder and perfume their persons, they dress, and progressively return to being what they are not."



[Edited at 2006-12-14 10:34]


I am getting closer to my final version.

And I agree Helen, literature is about sharing a universe of perceptions.

The most interesting part of this interpretation of the poem is most of you think there is more than one bed.

Since Amor77 is a love poem my conclusion was always there was only one bed, "they" get up (from). "They" are lovers to me. Cortazar's is saying they are lying/living a lie.

Any ideas about that?

Chuss


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Refugio
Local time: 01:08
Spanish to English
+ ...
My take Dec 16, 2006

Y después de hacer todo lo que hacen se levantan, se bañan, se entalcan, se perfuman, se visten, y así progresivamente van volviendo a ser lo que no son.

And after doing whatever they do, they get up, bathe, powder and perfume themselves, get dressed, and thus gradually go back to being what they are not.


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William [Bill] Gray  Identity Verified
Norway
Local time: 09:08
Member (2006)
English
+ ...
Another suggestion... Dec 18, 2006

chuss wrote:

William [Bill] Gray wrote:

"And after doing all they do they rise from their beds, they bathe, powder and perfume their persons, they dress, and progressively return to being what they are not."


The most interesting part of this interpretation of the poem is most of you think there is more than one bed.

Since Amor77 is a love poem my conclusion was always there was only one bed, "they" get up (from). "They" are lovers to me. Cortazar's is saying they are lying/living a lie.

Any ideas about that?

Chuss


What about singular "they rise from their bed" instead of "beds"? Or even, "they leave their bed"?

Bill


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Wenjer Leuschel  Identity Verified
Taiwan
Local time: 16:08
English to Chinese
+ ...
Good take Dec 18, 2006

Ruth Henderson wrote:

Y después de hacer todo lo que hacen se levantan, se bañan, se entalcan, se perfuman, se visten, y así progresivamente van volviendo a ser lo que no son.

And after doing whatever they do, they get up, bathe, powder and perfume themselves, get dressed, and thus gradually go back to being what they are not.


I like this one. Not so much word by word, but keeps the essence in the whole.

My only doubt would be about the word "ser." Sometimes, it could be "become," instead of being. I guess, most people would take "be" for "ser," but would it make sense when we interpret it as "become" in this case?


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