Off topic: Conveying the original poetry meaning
Thread poster: Ivan Petryshyn

Ivan Petryshyn
English to Italian
+ ...
Jul 14, 2007

Doch,
gekocht
in der Loch
der Zeit,
breit und weit
ist der Ein
wer heisst
ihm der Mann,
dann,
denken, wann kommt
das Gluck,
ein Stuck
der Zukunft,
eine Hoffe,
zu entnehmen
und wohnen
ohne
keine Schwierichkeit,-
breit und weit...
Ivan Petryshyn Chicago 07/14/07

But,
cooked
in the Bowl of Time,
bright and wide,
is the One
who called himself a Man,
then,
thinking
when there comes good luck,
a lump
of the Future,
the Hope
to grip and live out
without
any hardship,
rather,
in the world,
bright and wide...
Ivan Petryshyn Chicago 07/14/07

Pero',
bolliti in una pentola del Tempo,
brillante ed ampio,
uno , anche,
che si chiama
un uomo,
dopo,
pensando,
quando
viene buona fortuna,
l'una,
d'un pezzo del futuro,
la speranza
per cogliere e viverla,
senza nessun problema,
preferendo il mondo,
brillante ed ampio, -
una visione di lampo.
Ivan Petryshyn Chicago 07/14/07

Lecz,
zgotowani w jednej patelni
czasu,
s'wietlym a szerokim,
jeden,
ze sie, nazywa
czlowiekiem,
wtedy,
mys'la,c,
kiedy
przyjdzie szcze,s'cie,
ka,sek przeszlos'ci,
nadzieja,
zeby ja, uchwycic',
a nia, zyc',
bez zadnych problrmo'w,
gotuja,c s'wiat,
s'wiatly a szeroki,
wzrokiem
czasu
lepszego,
zyja,c nim
a ida,c do niego.
Ivan Petryshyn Chicago 07/14/07

Vsye ze,
tushyennyye
v odnom kotlye
vryemyeni,
svyetlom i shyrokom,
kto-to,
kto nosit
imya chyelowieka,
vslyedstvii,
dumayushciy, kogda
pridyet schyastye,
ischeznyet byeda,
i kusok budushchhyego,
nadyezhda,
skhvachyennaya,
dla zhyzni,
vidimaya,
bez problyem,
gotovya mir svyetlyy i shirokiy,
urokom
vzglyada molnii,
volno
i svobodno
parit
nad narodami
vryemyenyem,
shirotoy poznzniya,
ranyeye
dannogo
kazhdomu v prostranstvye
lyubvi,-
idi, ponimay i zhyvi.
Ivan Petryshyn Chicago 07/14/07

Odnak,
u chasi chasu,
zvareni razom,
cvitlomu i shyrokomu,
khtos', na ymennya lyudyny,
dumayuchyy opislya,
koly prylyne
shchastya,
talan,
shmatok maybuttya,
i vsya
nadiya,
hotova buty
skhoplenoyu y prozhytoyu,
zakryty usi pechali,
hotuyuchy svit tsey dali,
svitlyy i shyrokyy,
okhoplenyy
okom
blyskavky dumky,-
vidlunnyam
pochuttya
znov pryhorta zhyttya.
Ivan Petryshyn Chicago 07/14/07


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xxxsofiablu
Netherlands
Local time: 16:54
Brilliant poem! Jul 15, 2007

Is it your creation, Ivan? I think you did a really good job with your translations (I'm a native Italian and I speak Russian, English, Polish and remember a bit of German), but in which language was the original written?
I assume it was Russian, since it's your native language and the poem's longer version is the Russian one.
I think the German version has a wonderful musicality of words, such as the English one.
Now, if you would allow me, I wish to show you my own Italian translation, based on the Russian version.

Eppure,
cotto
nel calderone
del tempo,
ampio e lucente,
quegli
che sé
chiama uomo,
quindi
pensando a quando
verrà la fortuna,
svanirà la sventura,
e uno scampolo
di futuro,
e la speranza
carpire per vivere,
manifesta,
senza cure,
preparando,
come una lezione,
ampio e lucente
un mondo,
di sguardo di saetta,
leggero
e libero
vola
sui popoli,
abbandonandosi
al tempo,
alla vastità del sapere
dato,
in un tempo anteriore,
a ciascuno
nello spazio dell'amore -
va', comprendi e vivi.

I hope I haven't misunderstood your poem, I find rather difficult to read Russian when it's written in Latin alphabet; anyway, take it as a little tribute to your talent.

Всего Вам доброго!

P.


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