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Off topic: Nutrition - The moral tale [I think it's hilarious]
Thread poster: Rad Graban

Rad Graban  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 05:30
English to Slovak
+ ...
Mar 28, 2008

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said, 'You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, 'Yes!' And Woman said, 'I'll have one too with chocolate chips'. And lo they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

So God said, 'Try my fresh green salad'. And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said 'I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them'.

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds. God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said 'You want fries with that?' and Man replied, 'Yes, and super size 'em'. And Satan said, 'It is good.' And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed ......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then ............ Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.



THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health.:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
6. The French eat foie-gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.


[Edited at 2008-03-28 19:45]


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patyjs  Identity Verified
Mexico
Local time: 22:30
Spanish to English
+ ...
Deliciously funny! Mar 28, 2008

Thank you for sharing.

It's just like this in my house. I'm a vegetarian and my husband a "typical" Mexican who loves his meat and tortillas etc. Sunday is not Sunday without Cochinita Pibil (pit-roasted pig preferably with all the offal and fat you can imagine...even the bread dipped in the fat) for breakfast accompanied with a cold Coke. Fortunately my children don't need meat with every meal to feel satisfied and make healthy choices most of the time. But the God and Satan battle goes on.

Paty


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Ken Cox  Identity Verified
Local time: 06:30
German to English
+ ...
thanks for the chuckle Mar 28, 2008

and in line with the conclusion, we should see the statistics start to change as international English becomes even more widespread (or do you have to be a native speaker?)

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Rad Graban  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 05:30
English to Slovak
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Crossed my mind. Mar 28, 2008

Ken Cox wrote:
and in line with the conclusion, we should see the statistics start to change as international English becomes even more widespread (or do you have to be a native speaker?)


Not sure how it's gonna work with the 'international English' Ken, but if it does apply to the lot, it has crossed my mind that this could be how the human race will be wiped out rather than because of climate change or other disasters.:)

[Edited at 2008-03-28 17:55]


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Rad Graban  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 05:30
English to Slovak
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Very good. Mar 28, 2008

patyjs wrote:
Thank you for sharing.

It's just like this in my house. I'm a vegetarian and my husband a "typical" Mexican who loves his meat and tortillas etc. Sunday is not Sunday without Cochinita Pibil (pit-roasted pig preferably with all the offal and fat you can imagine...even the bread dipped in the fat) for breakfast accompanied with a cold Coke. Fortunately my children don't need meat with every meal to feel satisfied and make healthy choices most of the time. But the God and Satan battle goes on.

Paty


Brilliant patyjs! Your post should be included somewhere in this tale!:):):)


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veratek
France
Local time: 06:30
French to English
+ ...
Satan is losing his power... Mar 28, 2008

I crave for healthy foods as much as I do for unhealthy ones (obviously, foods that I like in both categories). If I go more than 2 meals without eating some nice, healthy food (which may or may not be accompanied by the non-healthy stuff), I start to seriously crave for the light and bright healthy dishes, food items, or recipes.

And I really don't like to eat a lot of fried foods, I can crave for one thing, but more than one and it usually puts me off.

One of my biggest temptations is actually salads, which should always be in the Satan category, because a salad without a really good dressing (read highly fattening) is just tasteless grass with some medicine over it. And then there are all the cheeses you can add, the nuts, the prosciutto, I mean, anything that makes it real nice, it's from hell.

And a good salad needs a reasonable amount of dressing, you can just minimally sprinkle a vinagraitte over it, it needs that lovely amount that shoots up the calorie count. I currently make a balsamic vinaigraitte with just a tiny bit of oil, and it's really tough

Vera


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Marie-Hélène Hayles  Identity Verified
Local time: 06:30
Italian to English
+ ...
mostly off-off-topic Mar 28, 2008

vera-tech wrote:

I crave for healthy foods as much as I do for unhealthy ones (obviously, foods that I like in both categories). If I go more than 2 meals without eating some nice, healthy food (which may or may not be accompanied by the non-healthy stuff), I start to seriously crave for the light and bright healthy dishes, food items, or recipes.

And I really don't like to eat a lot of fried foods, I can crave for one thing, but more than one and it usually puts me off.

One of my biggest temptations is actually salads, which should always be in the Satan category, because a salad without a really good dressing (read highly fattening) is just tasteless grass with some medicine over it. And then there are all the cheeses you can add, the nuts, the prosciutto, I mean, anything that makes it real nice, it's from hell.

And a good salad needs a reasonable amount of dressing, you can just minimally sprinkle a vinagraitte over it, it needs that lovely amount that shoots up the calorie count. I currently make a balsamic vinaigraitte with just a tiny bit of oil, and it's really tough

Vera


Vera, I'm also a healthy food fan. A couple of low-calorie suggestions for your salads: tzaziki made with low-fat yoghurt - bags of flavour, hardly any fat; add fresh basil and coriander leaves to your salad to add flavour, and cut out the oil; try low-fat cottage cheese or creme fraiche as a dressing - tastes creamy but is still low fat.
Alternatively, try blending a tin of chick peas with a couple of cloves or garlic, juice of a lemon and a minimal quantity of olive oil and using some of that alongside your salad - it's fantastic.
Oh, and bear in mind that raw nuts are good for you, so you can add four or five walnuts without feeling guilty.

Back on-off-topic: loved the story, Rad - thanks for sharing.


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Heinrich Pesch  Identity Verified
Finland
Local time: 07:30
Member (2003)
Finnish to German
+ ...
Apparently its not the fat Mar 29, 2008

It's calories in general and low physical activity.
Great text, thanks for the laugh!


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veratek
France
Local time: 06:30
French to English
+ ...
spelling correction Mar 29, 2008

And a good salad needs a reasonable amount of dressing, you can just minimally sprinkle a vinagraitte over it,

should be

And a good salad needs a reasonable amount of dressing, you CAN'T just minimally sprinkle a vinagraitte over it,


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veratek
France
Local time: 06:30
French to English
+ ...
thanks for all the suggestions Mar 29, 2008

Marie-Hélène Hayles wrote:

Vera, I'm also a healthy food fan. A couple of low-calorie suggestions for your salads... t


thanks Marie-Hélène - I'll be trying out your suggestions!

Vera


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Anita du Plessis  Identity Verified
South Africa
Local time: 06:30
Member (2008)
English to Afrikaans
+ ...
A little bit of what you fancy is good for you! Mar 29, 2008

Nutrition is probably the most confusing science! Thanks for your humorous insight. I believe a little bit of what you fancy is good for you. Keep the balance: do a little bit of exercise, do not stress too much, eat as many veggies and fruit as you like, and you don't have to pull your meat teeth either. What really worries me though, is the overprocessing of food to preserve it. I do not think our bodies can cope with all these strange chemicals and preservatives.

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veratek
France
Local time: 06:30
French to English
+ ...
totally agree this is a huge problem Mar 29, 2008

anitadp wrote:

Nutrition is probably the most confusing science! Thanks for your humorous insight. I believe a little bit of what you fancy is good for you. Keep the balance: do a little bit of exercise, do not stress too much, eat as many veggies and fruit as you like, and you don't have to pull your meat teeth either. What really worries me though, is the overprocessing of food to preserve it. I do not think our bodies can cope with all these strange chemicals and preservatives.


I totally agree. What is even worse is that you can very easily count calories, but it's much harder to control all that they put into processed food, when choosing what to buy. Most chemical terms are completely unintelligeable for lay people. And to cook (most ) everything from scratch is not an option for most adults nowadays. To complicate things even further, there is the problem that some foods are labeled healthy or organic due more to lobbying than organic integrity. It's one of the things I am always in doubt about when I look at the organic section in the supermarket, I always wonder if I pay the extra money, am I being duped or getting my money's worth of healthier food?

Vera


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