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Off topic: The Consultant, comic relief
Thread poster: Natuschka
Local time: 20:38
German to Russian
+ ...
May 16, 2003

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote

pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW

advanced out of the dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci

shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie,

leaned out the window and asked the shepherd...

\"If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have

in your flock, will you give me one?\"

The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a

yuppie, then looked at his peacefully-grazing

flock and calmly answered, \"Sure.\"

The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM

Thinkpad and connected it to a cell phone, then

he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where

he called up a GPS satellite navigation system,

scanned the area, and then opened up a database

and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas.

He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a

few minutes, received a response. Finally, he

prints out a 130 page report on his miniaturized

printer then turns to the shepherd and says.......

\"You have exactly 1586 sheep.\"

\"That is correct; take one of the sheep.\" said the


He watches the young man select one of the

animals and bundle it into his car.

Then the shepherd says: \"If I can tell you exactly

what your business is, will you give me back my


\"OK, why not.\" answered the young man.

\"Clearly, you are a consultant.\" said the shepherd.

\"That\'s correct.\" says the yuppie, \"but how did

you guess that?\"

\"No guessing required.\" answers the shepherd.

\"You turned up here although nobody called you.

You want to get paid for an answer I already knew,

to a question I never asked, and you don\'t know

crap about my business.... Now give me back

my dog.\"

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xxxElena Sgarbo  Identity Verified
Italian to English
+ ...
Natuschka, I'm still laughing!... May 17, 2003

Yes, here in the US we definitely have too many consultants... who fit the description above very well!...

[ This Message was edited by: Elena Sgarbossa on 2003-05-17 16:55]

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George Hopkins
Local time: 20:38
Swedish to English
D.I.Y. May 18, 2003

You usually have a choice:

Hire a consultant or make mess of it yourself.

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The Consultant, comic relief

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