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Off topic: A Glossary for Open-Collar Workers…
Thread poster: Aurora Humarán
Aurora Humarán  Identity Verified
Local time: 06:49
English to Spanish
+ ...
Jun 13, 2003

A very useful glossary: 21 Century Office Jargon

No time to write. My Seagull Manager is near….

Have a GREAT weekend!

The rarified organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

Alpha Geek
The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.

The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

The brief seizure people sometimes have when their beeper goes off (especially in vibrator mode). Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions and interruption of speech in mid-sentence.

Sitting around in a group discussing why a project was missed or failed, and who was responsible.

Blowing Your Buffer
Losing one's train of thought.

A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.

Chainsaw Consultant
An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

Chip Jewelry
A euphemism for old computers destined to be scrapped or turned into decorative ornaments.

Cobweb Site
A World Wide Web Site that hasn't been updated for a long time.

A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just wasted 30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"

Cube Farm
An office filled with cubicles.

Ego Surfing
Scanning the Net, databases, print media and so on, looking for references to one's own name.

It's a Feature
From the adage "It's not a bug, it's a feature." Used sarcastically to describe an unpleasant experience that you wish to gloss over.

Keyboard Plaque
The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.

Mouse Potato
The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

Nickname for AOL's less-than-full-featured Web browser.

That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a big mistake.

Open-Collar Workers
People who work at home or telecommute.

Percussive Maintenance
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

A new hire who doesn't need any training. "The new guy, John, is great. He's totally plug-and-play."

Prairie Dogging
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

Salmon Day
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end.

Seagull Manager
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves.

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Rusinterp  Identity Verified
Member (2003)
English to Russian
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LOL Jun 14, 2003

Thank you ! That was SOO funny!!!!

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Narasimhan Raghavan  Identity Verified
Local time: 15:19
English to Tamil
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Nice posting that one Jun 16, 2003

Quite nice to read, AURORA HUMARAN. If this is taken from some website, kindly give the address. If not, hats-off to your lively entries.

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Aurora Humarán  Identity Verified
Local time: 06:49
English to Spanish
+ ...
Hats on / hats off..... Jun 17, 2003


As somebody sang:

You can leave your hat on!...

I am not that creative...

Saludos desde Buenos Aires,


[Edited at 2003-06-17 12:28]

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