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Off topic: Mainly female... ["I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0" etc.]
Thread poster: Lise Leavitt

Lise Leavitt  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 01:53
Member (2008)
Danish to English
+ ...
Feb 24, 2009

A little breath taker in between tasks.....;)

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and gift applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable applications such as Sports 6.0, Cars 5.1 and EZ Option Trading 2.0.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.




Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter: ithoughtyoulovedme.html in your browser and try to download the utility program Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should run Jewelry 2.5 and Flowers 3.0 automatically as needed.

However, remember, overuse of the above programs can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 3.5, Endless Internet Surfing 2.0, or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad application that will download the Farting and Snoring Beta. Also, there is a risk that it will prompt an upgrade to Booze 2.0 which is difficult to uninstall.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program or any of the previous versions. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory, takes a bit longer to start up, and does not support all of the newest applications. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 8.0 and Hot Lingerie 6.9.

Good Luck Babe!
Tech Support

[Edited at 2009-02-24 19:20 GMT]

[Subject edited by staff or moderator 2009-02-24 22:45 GMT]


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Nigel Greenwood  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 07:53
Member (2008)
Spanish to English
+ ...
Right on the nail .... Feb 24, 2009

and it works both ways, doesn't it you fellas out there.

Nigel:)


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Lise Leavitt  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 01:53
Member (2008)
Danish to English
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
You are right Nigel....I guess it does...could...with different priorities lol Feb 24, 2009

Nigel Greenwood wrote:

and it works both ways, doesn't it you fellas out there.

Nigel:)


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KathyT  Identity Verified
Australia
Local time: 15:53
Japanese to English
Hilarious! Feb 24, 2009

After subtle hinting at trial run with parallel operating system, mine agreed to have Service Pack 1 installed and is currently running to my satisfaction, TYVM.
However, SP2 may be only a matter of time...;-);-)


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Lise Leavitt  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 01:53
Member (2008)
Danish to English
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
SP2 Feb 24, 2009

I am already running SP2...its working like a dream hehehehhh

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Liliana Roman-Hamilton  Identity Verified
Local time: 22:53
English to Italian
heheh Feb 24, 2009

That was hilarious!
Thanks Lise for sharing and for putting a smile on our face!


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Alexandra Goldburt
Local time: 22:53
English to Russian
+ ...
Thanks for the warning, Lise! Feb 24, 2009

I will NOT upgrade...

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Tatiana Lammers  Identity Verified
United States
Member (2008)
English to Russian
+ ...
Girlfriend and Wife 1.0 Feb 25, 2009

Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).

At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

The features he'd like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0 include:

- A"Don't remind me again" button
- Minimize button
- An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other system resources.
An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the systems hardware
probe feature to be much more useful.

I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable
traces of the application in the system.

Another thing that sucks -- all versions of Girlfriend continually pop-up little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0

BUG WARNING

Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

BUG WORK-AROUNDS
To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as LapLink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0.

Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidentally be downloaded from the UseNet.


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Tomás Cano Binder, CT  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 07:53
Member (2005)
English to Spanish
+ ...
Mother and mother-in-law Feb 25, 2009

Two ladies meet again after a long time. After a while, one asks the other:

A: So, how are your children, Rose and Frank?

B: Oh dear, Rose made such a happy marriage! What a marvelous husband. He gets up early in the morning to change my grandson's nappies, makes coffee, washes up all dishes and helps making breakfast. And all that before he goes to work! Isn't he a lovely son-in-law?

A: I am so happy to hear that! How about Frank? Did he marry too?

B: Yes, he married too, but wasn't very lucky really. His marriage is a mess. Can you believe that he has to get up early in the morning to change my grandson's nappies, make the coffee and do all the washing up? He even has to help cooking breakfast before he goes to work to bring in money for my daughter-in-law, the lazy whore!


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Giovanni Guarnieri MITI, MIL  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 06:53
English to Italian
Wife 1.0... Feb 25, 2009

also installs the No.Sex plug-in, which can be activated everytime Wife 1.0 is set to punishment mode...

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Lise Leavitt  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 01:53
Member (2008)
Danish to English
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
LOL Feb 25, 2009

No.sex plug-in...never heard it described like that ehehehehhh ;D

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Liliana Roman-Hamilton  Identity Verified
Local time: 22:53
English to Italian
yeah Feb 25, 2009

Giovanni Guarnieri MITI, MIL wrote:

also installs the No.Sex plug-in, which can be activated everytime Wife 1.0 is set to punishment mode...



I bet this plug in comes with a sneaky virus called "Not tonight, babe. I've got a headache"...

hehehhehe


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Alexandra Goldburt
Local time: 22:53
English to Russian
+ ...
All versions of Boyfriend have the opposite problem Feb 25, 2009

Another thing that sucks -- all versions of Girlfriend continually pop-up little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0


All versions of Boyfriend continually pop-up messages about the DISadvantages of upgrading to Husband!

Not that I care to upgrade...


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Giovanni Guarnieri MITI, MIL  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 06:53
English to Italian
ok... Feb 26, 2009

Lise Leavitt wrote:

No.sex plug-in...never heard it described like that ehehehehhh ;D


maybe 'plug-out'?


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Ligia Dias Costa  Identity Verified
Portugal
Local time: 06:53
Member (2008)
English to Portuguese
+ ...
The best forum entry! Feb 26, 2009

Lise Leavitt wrote:

A little breath taker in between tasks.....;)

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and gift applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as ...

Desperate.
Dear Desperate,



I have to congratulate you, seriously, dear Lise, for this forum entry! It is hilarious, inteligent, smart, funny...

Thanks a million for this!

(I was getting sick of the "rates" talk!)

Ligia Dias Costa


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