Off topic: claims to choose
Thread poster: Lucia Messuti
| They both look like translations || Mar 30, 2009 |
Your two claims sound rather weak in English, at least to my ear.
This is because they were in all probability conceived in Italian and then translated. It's not that the translation is bad, it's just that English doesn't organise ideas in the (1+1) (1+1) pattern of your two proposals as often as Italian.
A triplet (1+1+1) such as:
Fast. Simple. Reliable.
would be easier to remember and therefore more effective.
If you want to keep the Italian pattern, you need to link the two pairs in some way. Your second option looks promising but "Really" is in effect a wasted opportunity as it says very little and has lost the "real time" connotations of the first version.
You might want substitute "Really" with another adverb of degree that uses alliteration to bond with "Simply":
Seriously Fast. Simply Reliable. (NB better with full stops)
You're still losing the "real time" notion but to be quite honest, I'd rather have reliability
| | xxxLia Fail
Local time: 16:50
Spanish to English
| Like Giles ............. || Mar 30, 2009 |
Lucia Messuti wrote:
"Real Time, Simple Life"
"Really Fast, Simply Reliable"
What do you think about it?
My imnmediate reation: wooden. They eovoke nothing except "whaaaattt?"
Thanks for your comments!
I'll keep you updated
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