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Off topic: "Ten Mistakes Men Make With Women"
Thread poster: Eva T
Eva T
English to Albanian
+ ...
Sep 2, 2003

“The Ten Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU Probably
Make With Women—
And What To Do About It...”

Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women—And How To Make Sure YOU Avoid Every One Of These Deadly Common Mistakes...

-By David DeAngelo

MISTAKE #1: Being
Too Much Of A “Nice Guy”

Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted "nice" guys?

Of course you have.

Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends that always seemed to date "jerks"... but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU.

What's going on here?

It's actually very simple...

Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.

And guess what?

Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION.

And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you.

I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET OVER IT.

Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want.

MISTAKE #2: Trying To
“Convince Her To Like You"

What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like... but she's just notinterested?

Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently.


Never, ever, EVER.

You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning".

Think about it.

If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her?

But we all do it.

When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind.

Bad idea. One that will never work.

MISTAKE #3: Looking To Her
For Approval Or Permission

In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman's "approval" or "permission".

Another HORRIBLE idea.

Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them... EVER.

Don't get me wrong here.

You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to like you.

But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval and permission for things", think again.

You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval.

Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around and want her approval annoy her...

MISTAKE #4: Trying To “Buy” Her Affection With Food And Gifts

How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did?

If you're like me, then you've had it happen a LOT.

Well guess what?

It's only NATURAL when this happens...

That's right, I said NATURAL.

When you do these things, you send a clear message:

"I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection".

Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I said that women see this as MANIPULATION.

MISTAKE #5: Sharing
“How You Feel” Too Early In
The Relationship With Her

Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on.

Attractive women are rare.

And they get a LOT of attention from men.

Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE

An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who are interested. This translate into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month.

And guess what?

Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men.

That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.

They know what to expect.

And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates.

This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast... and can't control themselves.

Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.

There's a much better way...

MISTAKE #6: Not “Getting” How Attraction Works For Women

Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION.

You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.

When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction.

But does the same apply for women?

Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on?

Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks.

Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around?

Think about it.

Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men... and they're attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone.

If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.

But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this.

And ANY guy can learn how...

MISTAKE #7: Thinking That It
Takes Money And Looks

One of the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they've even gotten started... because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money... or guys who are a certain height... or guys who are a certain age.

And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things.

But MOST women are far more interested in a man's personality than his wallet or his looks.

There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet...

And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys.

YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome.

Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.

MISTAKE #8: Giving Away
All Of Your Power To Women

Earlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission.

Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women.

Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants.

Another bad idea...

Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over... Women aren't attracted to Wussies!

MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing
EXACTLY What To Do In Each
Type Of Situation With Women

Now I'm going to blow your mind...

A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking.

Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES.

I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it.

And if you don't know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won't help!

And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating...

Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing her, getting physical... everything.

If you don't know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING.

And you KNOW it.

It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to the next with a woman... from the first meeting, all the way to the bedroom.

MISTAKE #10: Not Getting HELP

This is the biggest mistake of all.

This is the mistake that keeps most men from EVER having the kind of success with women that they truly want.

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Narasimhan Raghavan  Identity Verified
Local time: 17:27
English to Tamil
+ ...
The other side of the coin Sep 3, 2003

It works both ways. For example, a man tires easily of a woman, who yields to him easily. Though it's only comics, I will take the example of the Archies series. Betty dotes on Archie and Veronica treats him like mud. Whom does Archie run after? One basic tactic would be being so unpredictable, whether a man or a woman. Never allow yourself to be taken for granted. Indulge your whims. If you do not do it, nobody else is going to do it. Be assertive. If in doubt, don't show it. Remember, the other party is having his/her own doubts and will not thank you for burdening him/her with yours.

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Heinrich Pesch  Identity Verified
Local time: 14:57
Member (2003)
Finnish to German
+ ...
Nice list Sep 3, 2003

But most of this advice also applies to women, I guess. Be natural, do not act.

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schmurr  Identity Verified
Local time: 13:57
Italian to German
+ ...
The original seems to be that on Sep 3, 2003
where you can get "Free Newsletter And Download eBook" and "Free Newsletter And Audio/Video Samples"
- so as to be no longer in the dark, maybe...

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Arnaud HERVE  Identity Verified
Local time: 13:57
English to French
+ ...
was that a list ? Sep 3, 2003

I got the vague impression that it was all the same item in several paragraphs.

I'm not sure it completely made sense as well. More a Zeitgeist message, perhaps.

Anyway I prefer watching TV than dating

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Marina THETIOT  Identity Verified
Local time: 13:57
English to French
I totally agree! Sep 3, 2003

I have bad and good news for you
- bad: I agree with what you say so it means you have no chance to hear "no, don't worry, you don't have to think about all that if you're attracted to a woman"
- good: well, you've understood it all so it's good for you!

I don't know what you mean exactly by "really attractive woman" so I don't know if I might be considered one, but, you seem to believe that this works only with "really attractive women", but I'm not sure it ONLY applies to REALLY attractive women! Even if YOU are only interested in "REALLY attractive women", you have to be aware of that as well!
I especially agree with "MISTAKE #6", and it's a pity that the same does not apply for men. And is this sure anyway? You talk about women you see in the street, but, you can also fall in love with someone you've been working with for a long time (or that sort of situation), whereas you had not particularly noticed her at the beginning.
But, I've you tried to go out with a really beautiful woman, but whose personality does not really attract you? Because if you haven't, I suggest that you try, and you'll see it might not work long...or if it does, it really means that men (or at least You)are really different from women!

Now, the question I am asking: if you put into practice the advice in "mistake #6", does it become your second nature after a while or do you have to act all the time after having started? (I'm not judging here, because as I said, I agree with what you write, but, it's just a question)

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Edwal Rospigliosi  Identity Verified
Local time: 13:57
Member (2004)
English to Spanish
+ ...
Nice guys never get laid? Sep 3, 2003

MISTAKE #1: Being
Too Much Of A “Nice Guy”

True. Definitely, absolutely, incredibly true. The saying "Nice guys never get laid" is one of the greatest truths of this world.

MISTAKE #2: Trying To
“Convince Her To Like You"

That has other not-so-kind name: "pity". And it doesn't work, anyway.

MISTAKE #3: Looking To Her
For Approval Or Permission

Why? You don't need her permission. And it bores her. Indeed, it bores anybody.

MISTAKE #4: Trying To “Buy” Her Affection With Food And Gifts

You can buy affection this way, but affection leads to "let's be just friends". What you need is ATTRACTION. Leave affection for your pet.

MISTAKE #5: Sharing
“How You Feel” Too Early In
The Relationship With Her

Creepy! A relationship builds with time, and at the beginning, it's only fun, so don't try to be "deep". Men who have heard "I love you" at the second date know what I am talking about.

MISTAKE #6: Not “Getting” How Attraction Works For Women

Men don't understand women. Women don't understand women. Attraction has nothing to do with brains, nor with the heart. It has to do with that "I-don't-know", that "gut feeling" you have. You can love somebody and don't be attracted to him/her, and hate somebody else and be attracted nevertheless.

MISTAKE #7: Thinking That It
Takes Money And Looks

Have you seen the prettiest girls? A lot of them go with the guy that wears cut jeans and an old leather jacket, while well-dressed guys walk alone. You know, being rich, good-looking and thin surely helps (I'm nothing of that, as you can see in my profile), but it's not a guarantee of success with women.

MISTAKE #8: Giving Away
All Of Your Power To Women

That has another name: Being a wuss. Nobody likes a wuss.

MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing
EXACTLY What To Do In Each
Type Of Situation With Women

Always ready, like the boy scouts! Never get caught with your pants down (figuratively speaking, of course! People like self-assurance.

MISTAKE #10: Not Getting HELP

When you don't know how to do something, you ask somebody who does, right? Why should it be different here?

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xxxErika P  Identity Verified
Local time: 12:57
English to Hungarian
+ ...
nice guys... Sep 3, 2003

...DO get laid -
but perhaps NOT as often as they WANT to.;-)

Edwal Rospigliosi wrote:

Have you seen the prettiest girls? A lot of them go with the guy that wears cut jeans and an old leather jacket, while well-dressed guys walk alone.

Well-dressed guys walk alone because they run after their business, not the girls.
Or they just don’t like the idea of parading their partners – especially in front of other men, those wearing scruffy jeans...
Manufactured clichés make this "dating biz" more banal than it already is.
Thanks to the poster for bringing attention to this.

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Local time: 13:57
English to French
+ ...
Completely agree here Sep 4, 2003

with this list.

A woman will always feel if you want her for her looks, to parade with like the car you bought, to enhance your status, or to have a quick one, just to prove to yourself you can do it (the hunter syndrome) or because you are genuinely interested in her, the person she is. She will also feel if you are using "tactics".

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