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Off topic: A little humor - Great truths that little children have learned
Thread poster: Monika Coulson

Monika Coulson  Identity Verified
Local time: 16:36
Member (2001)
English to Albanian
+ ...
Jan 28, 2004

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:


1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It 's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, ! but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.


SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . .. having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . going all the way.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is .. . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . going all the way.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . .. having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.



Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way BUT never forget to remember the blessings that come each day.







[Edited at 2004-01-28 07:20]


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Gayle Wallimann  Identity Verified
Local time: 00:36
Member (2001)
French to English
+ ...
Thanks Monika! Jan 28, 2004

Monika Coulson wrote:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

It's not so much the boy flavored Jell-o for me as it is the girl flavor...:-)

[Edited at 2004-01-28 12:19]


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Empty Whiskey Glass
Local time: 01:36
Bulgarian
+ ...
Great and true! Jan 28, 2004

Great and true!

Many thanks!


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Trudy Peters  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 18:36
German to English
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Thanks, Monika, for a great start to my day! Jan 28, 2004

I laughed so hard, I almost peed in my pants!

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lien
Netherlands
Local time: 00:36
English to French
+ ...
Great ! Jan 28, 2004

My favorites ! Truelly great ! Thanks

Monika Coulson wrote:

5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

5) It 's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.



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Eugenia Rodriguez
United States
Local time: 18:36
Spanish to English
+ ...
Thanks Monika! Jan 28, 2004

This was a good coffee brake!

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A little humor - Great truths that little children have learned

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