Off topic: Battle of the sexes
Thread poster: Narasimhan Raghavan
Infosys is India's Microsoft. Consequently it has had its shares of bouquets and brickbats. Personally I have got great regard for its CEO Mr. Narayana Murthy. But I was intrigued to read what the men and women of this great organization think of the opposite sex. Source: http://www.jaalmag.com/jokes/new17.htm
Written by Infosys Guys:
1. What is the beautiful girl called in Infosys?
2. What happens when all the Infosys girls go on a trip to moon?
A. Average beauty of the earth increases and that of moon decreases.
3. What happens when hundred new girls join ?
A. Average beauty of Infosys further decreases.
4. What happens when a Infosys girl has very malignant brain tumor?
A. She will get her knee operated.
5. What happens when two Infosys girls meet generally at fashion show?
A. They will discuss the cause of the two smaller bugs in software.
6. What happens when a Infosys girl contests a fashion show?
A. She will get best possible points in the field of morale boosting.
7. What happens if you present a book named "How to fall in love" to a Infosys girl?
A. She will use it as a mouse pad.
8. When there is a competition in beauty and two Infosys girls participate,it's called a competition.
A. If a Infosys girl and other outside girl competes, its called overconfidence.
9. What happens when two Infosys girls compete for same guy?
A. He will commit suicide.
Quote: Generally 99.9999% of the girls in the world are beautiful, rest are in Infosys
Written by Infosys Girls:
1. What is it when an Infosys-guy is wearing a black t-shirt?
It's just a white t-shirt , badly in need of a good washing.
2.What happens when a dirty, smelly sheep and an i.g.(Infosys-guy) enter a room together?
The sheep runs out.
3. What happens when an i.g. starts combing his hair?
The comb gets lost in his hair.
4.What does an i.g. tell Julia Roberts?
Your hair remind me of "sine curves".
5.Where does an i.g. take his girl on the 1st date?
Obviously, to the Infosys library.
6.How does an i.g. shine his battery (specs)?
With a shoe-shine polish.
7.What do you call a guy wearing shoes in Infosys?
8. What happens when some i.g.s go on a trip to U.S.A.?
Average cleanliness of INDIA increases, and that of U.S.A decreases.
9.What happens to the 2 ants, 1 falling on an i.g.'s shirt, and other on a visitor's shirt?
The 2nd one slips down quickly, while the 1st one gets lost in the mountainous region. (such a crumpled shirt!).
10.How will an i.g. tell his friend "go there"?
He will actually GO there and say,"come here".
11.What happens when an i.g. falls in love?
He starts finding out the depth to which he's fallen, with the velocity and time of falling in love known to him.
12. What does an i.g. comment about a v. pretty girl?
"Non existing function of beauty".
13. What happens when an i.g. proceeds with a suitcase to his home-town?
On reaching home, realizes that his suitcase is missing.
14. What happens when an i.g. is attending a wedding?
He starts developing a software to find out how many people attended the marriage and how many didn't.
Quote: 0.0001% of the garbage on earth is outside Infosys and the remaining 99.9999% is in Infosys.
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| Jeez!!!!!!!! || Jun 22, 2004 |
That's what I call a hostile work environment
And since people mostly looks for mates at work, I don't want to think about how the children are going to be
| It was only a joke but then read another story || Jun 22, 2004 |
Actually the sexes cannot dispense with each other. As they say, the battle of the sexes cannot last long as there is bound to be collaboration between them!
Here is something to warm your heart:
One day a teacher asked her students to list the
names of the other students in the room on two sheets
of paper, leaving a space between each name.
Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they
could say about each of their classmates and write it
It took the remainder of the class period to finish
their assignment, and as the students left the room,
each one handed in the papers.
That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each
student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what
everyone else had said about that individual.
On Monday she gave each student his or her list.
Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?"
she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant
anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked
me so much." were most of the comments.
No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She
never knew if they discussed them after class or with
their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had
accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with
themselves and one another. That group of students
Several years later, one of the students was killed
in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of
that special student. She had never seen a serviceman
in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so
The church was packed with his friends. One by one
those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin.
The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.
As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as
pallbearer came up to her. "Were you Mark's math's
teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "yes." Then he said:
"Mark talked about you a lot."
After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates
went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father
were there, obviously waiting to speak with his
"We want to show you something," his father said,
taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this
on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might
Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn
pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been
taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher
knew without looking that the papers were the ones on
which she had listed all the good things each of
Mark's classmates had said about him.
"Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother
said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."
All of Mark's former classmates started to gather
around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I
still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk
Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our
"I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary."
Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her
pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn
and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me
at all times," Vicki said and without batting an
eyelash, she continued: "I think we all saved our
That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried.
She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would
never see him again.
The density of people in society is so thick that we
forget that life will end one day. And we don't know
when that one day will be.
So please, tell the people you love and care for, that
they are special and important. Tell them, before it
is too late.
[Edited at 2004-06-22 03:08]
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