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Off topic: Start Monday with a laugh:-)
Thread poster: xxxLia Fail
xxxLia Fail  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 02:39
Spanish to English
+ ...
Sep 27, 2004

Was sent this by a friend (thanks Kevin!). Start Monday with a laugh:-)

"Personal ads" in the Dublin News:

Heavy drinker, 35, Cork area. Seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in a man who loves his pints, cigarettes, Glasgow Celtic Football Club and starting fights on Patrick Street at three o'clock in the morning.

> ------------------------------------------

Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by long-time fiancée, seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches.

> ------------------------------------------

Ginger haired Galway man, a trouble-maker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more.

> ------------------------------------------

Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in a damp cottage in the arse-end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21 year old blonde lady, with a lovely chest.

> ------------------------------------------

Devil-worshipper, Offaly area, seeks like-minded lady, for wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks, and slaughtering cats in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon.

> ------------------------------------------

Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20 year old double-jointed supermodel, who owns her own brewery, and has an open-minded twin sister

> ------------------------------------------

Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.


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Orla Ryan  Identity Verified
Ireland
Local time: 01:39
*lol* Sep 27, 2004

i got that e-mail too ... but my one had a few more counties mentioned... think there was one going

"40 year old Tipperary man seeks woman who will answer to "Mammy" for lots of tea and biscuits at the fireside"

O.


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xxxLia Fail  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 02:39
Spanish to English
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Tipperary... Sep 27, 2004

Orla Ryan wrote:

i got that e-mail too ... but my one had a few more counties mentioned... think there was one going

"40 year old Tipperary man seeks woman who will answer to "Mammy" for lots of tea and biscuits at the fireside"

O.


I'm from Tipp, and yes, that figures:-)


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NancyLynn
Canada
Local time: 20:39
Member (2002)
French to English
+ ...

MODERATOR
Good luck, mate! Sep 27, 2004

Ailish Maher wrote:
Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in a damp cottage in the arse-end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21 year old blonde lady, with a lovely chest.
-----------------
Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20 year old double-jointed supermodel, who owns her own brewery, and has an open-minded twin sister


You better set your sights younger or older, methinks the 20-year-olds have already left, seeker greener pastures (the money kind, not the emerald-isle kind)

Meanwhile, a jar or two of the poteen should have the locals looking more like the ideal

Thanks Ailish, great way to start the week.

Nancy


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Guy Bray  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 17:39
Member (2002)
French to English
try the LRB Sep 27, 2004

for a more literary (and I think funnier) approach, try the regular Personals in the London Review of Books:
http://www.lrb.co.uk/classified/index.php


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xxxLia Fail  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 02:39
Spanish to English
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Indeed! Sep 27, 2004

Guy Bray wrote:

for a more literary (and I think funnier) approach, try the regular Personals in the London Review of Books:
http://www.lrb.co.uk/classified/index.php[/quote]

How about this one from the LLB:

Know your thermocouple accuracy table, then love me like the fool you are. Geo-sex daddy of the rhodium refining world (M, 62) seeks practically anyone. Anyone at all. I mean it. Please. Anyone. Box no. 17/10

Or this one:

Romance is dead. So is my mother. Man, 42, inherited wealth. Box no. 18/11


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



[Edited at 2004-09-27 19:05]

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