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Thread poster: Aniello Scognamiglio

Aniello Scognamiglio  Identity Verified
Germany
Local time: 23:42
English to German
+ ...
May 31, 2005

Sorry, I have deleted the joke!
Aniello

[Edited at 2005-06-01 06:58]


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Joanna Borowska  Identity Verified
Poland
Local time: 23:42
English to Polish
that's a good one! May 31, 2005

I'd only change the Italians in Hell for the Poles

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xxxTadzio
English to Spanish
Smile... May 31, 2005

Tadzio.

[Edited at 2005-05-31 21:59]


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Claudia Iglesias  Identity Verified
Chile
Local time: 19:42
Member (2002)
Spanish to French
+ ...
About jokes May 31, 2005

Reminder

Exceptions may be made in which postings outside of ProZ.com's scope are allowed, but only on the condition that no part of the content could be considered by any reasonable person to be objectionable or even controversial.


If anyone objects to this kind of jokes, please contact me.

Claudia


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Agnieszka Hayward
Poland
Local time: 23:42
German to Polish
+ ...
if heaven was just a bit easier.... May 31, 2005

ryfka wrote:

I'd only change the Italians in Hell for the Poles


my suggestion:
Polish drivers = heaven
Polish taxes = hell

regards to all nations
-A-


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Christine Andersen  Identity Verified
Denmark
Local time: 23:42
Member (2003)
Danish to English
+ ...
I reckon the Danes can live with this one... Jun 1, 2005

Unfortunately the replies to the English and Dutch seem to have gone down with my last computer... But this went round between some of my colleagues a few summers ago:

You've been in Denmark too long…

When you are resigned to bitter black coffee and so-called tea with weeds and dead flowers in it but no milk

When you send someone a birthday card with only a picture of a flag on the front

When you eat your fish and chips with remoulade

When you speak Danish to your friends' children because you don't expect them to understand English, and they think you must be Welsh

When your idea of pudding is whipped cream with a strawberry under it

When you forget to say 'please' and start jumping queues while on holiday in England

When you wake up with a hangover on 25 December

When you can't remember how many Royals are divorced but you know Princess Alexandra is Chinese….

BUT by then very probably you can really say 'rødgrød med fløde' and…

You will have learnt which kinds of Danish cheese you like and which to avoid

You will appreciate good rye bread

You will wish English had a good all-in-one expression like 'tak for sidst' so you could avoid discussing the weather

You will love Skt. Hans aften (midsummer bonfire night) whatever the weather

- and if you didn't love the Danes in spite of their infuriating belief that 'Danish' is synonymous with 'the world's best' … you wouldn't still be in Denmark!


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NataliaElo  Identity Verified
Germany
Local time: 23:42
Member (2004)
English to Russian
+ ...
You Have Been In Finland Too Long, When Jun 1, 2005

You Know You Have Been In Finland Too Long, When...




1. You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to garbage.

2. When a stranger on the street smiles at you:
a. you assume he is drunk
b. he is insane
c. he's an American

3. You don't think twice about putting the wet dishes away in the cupboard to dry.

4. A friend asks about your holiday plans and you answer: "Oh, I'm going to Europe!" meaning any other Western European country outside Scandinavia.

5. You see a student taking a front row seat and wonder "Who does he think he is!!??"

6. Silence is fun.

7. The reason you take the ferry to Stockholm or Tallinn is:
a. duty free vodka
b. duty free beer
c. to party heartily...no need to get off the boat in Stockholm or Tallinn, just turn around and do it again on the way back to Finland.

8. Your coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups a day and coffee is too weak if there is less than two spoonfuls per person.

9. You pass a grocery store and think: "Wow, it is open, I had better go in and buy something!"

10. Your native language has seriously deteriorated, now you begin to "eat medicine", "open the television", "close the lights off", and tell someone: "you needn't to!". Expressions like "Don't panic" creep into your everyday language.

11. You associate pea soup with Thursday.

12. Your idea of unforgivable behaviour now includes walking across the street when the light is red and there is no walk symbol, even though there are no cars in sight.

13. Your notion of street life is reduced to the few teenagers hanging out in front of the railway station on Friday nights.

14. Sundays no longer seem dull with all the stores closed, and begin to feel restful instead.

15. You finally stop asking your class "Are there any questions?"

16. Your old habit of being "Fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.

17. Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay.

18. You refuse to wear a hat, even in -30°C weather.

19. You hear loud-talking passengers on the train. You immediately assume:
a. they are drunk
b. they are Swedish-speaking
c. they are Americans
d. all of the above.

20. You no longer look at sports pants as casual wear, but recognize them as almost formal wear.

21. You have undergone a transformation:
a. you accept mustamakkara (Black blood sausage) as food
b. you accept alcohol as food
c. you accept.

22. You understand why the Finnish language has no future tense.

23. You no longer have to search for the flushing mechanism.

24. You no longer see any problem wearing white socks with loafers.

25. You just love Jaffa.

26. You've come to expect Sunday morning sidewalk vomit dodging.

27. You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed."

28. You enjoy salmiakki.

29. You know that "Gents" is another term for sidewalk.

30. You know that more than four channels means cable.

31. When you're hungry you can peel a boiled potato like lightning.

32. You've become lactose intolerant.

33. You accept that 80°C in a sauna is chilly, but 20°C outside is freaking hot.

34. You know how to fix herring in 105 different ways.

35. You eat herring in 105 ways.

36. "No comment" becomes a conversation strategy.

37. You can't understand why people live anywhere but in Finland.

The source: http://www.helsinginsanomat.fi/english/extras/toolong

Actually I nearly wrote yesterday to Anielo that I admire his courage, but then I thought "Who am I to write that..."

I think there is always some truth in jokes like these and it's a good way to get to know other nationalities.

Please enjoy the Finnish bit with the comments at the webpage. The only thing I have to say is that even though all the statements are basically true I love Finns, Finnish language and Finland:)

Natalia


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Terence Ajbro
Sweden
Local time: 23:42
English to German
+ ...
This really hits the nail on the head! Jun 1, 2005

I'm a Brit, but have lived in Denmark for 20 years now. I can only confirm what you have written. Although I love Denmark and have lived here longer than my home country, I will never become Danish at heart. I miss vinegar on my chips, get infuriated with people smoking where there are "no smoking" signs all around them, not to mention the complete lack of queue culture!

Regards

Terence


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Hanna Martikainen
Local time: 23:42
French to Finnish
+ ...
Finns and hygiene Jun 1, 2005

Natalia Elo wrote:

You Know You Have Been In Finland Too Long, When...

1. You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to garbage.



I have to agree to your list Natalia, and I would even add the following to the first definition :

You know you have been in Finland too long when... you start to carefully wash the garbage before recycling it.

My (French) boyfriend thinks I must be the the only person in the whole wide world to actually clean up the trash before throwing it away, but I am convinced there are about 5 million other Finns doing the same ^^


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Dinny  Identity Verified
Greece
Local time: 00:42
Italian to Danish
+ ...
Got here late... too bad! Jun 1, 2005

I'm sorry I missed Aniello's part... but I loved the description of living in Denmark (how I miss my remoulade with the fish & chips!), that's an exact description, ehehhe

Now I live in Italy, so I'm looking forward to reading a list of the signs that I have been here too long. And since I'm planning to move on to Greece I would like a "fair warning" about the things I will have to get used to there. Won't scare me off anyway!


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Christine Andersen  Identity Verified
Denmark
Local time: 23:42
Member (2003)
Danish to English
+ ...
It's on the Net Jun 1, 2005

Dinny wrote:


I'm sorry I missed Aniello's part... but I loved the description


try googling chefs + British...
I use Altavista, but be warned: there are dozens of hits. It's hardly offensive if you can cope with the attack on the Danes


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NataliaElo  Identity Verified
Germany
Local time: 23:42
Member (2004)
English to Russian
+ ...
Recycling in Finland and elsewhere Jun 1, 2005

Tervetuloa ProZiin!


Hanna Martikainen wrote:

You know you have been in Finland too long when... you start to carefully wash the garbage before recycling it.




Oh, you haven't lived in Germany;)



[Edited at 2005-06-01 17:46]

[Edited at 2005-06-01 17:46]


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Edward Potter  Identity Verified
Local time: 23:42
Member (2003)
Spanish to English
+ ...
Missed the joke Jun 1, 2005

The joke got deleted before I could read it. I'll try googling it. Meanwhile, you might google on the following:

"french military victories" and click on "I'm feeling lucky". Make sure it is the "feeling lucky" button.


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