Off topic: Funny: how to become a millionnaire
Thread poster: Alina Matei

Alina Matei  Identity Verified
Australia
Local time: 02:32
English to Romanian
+ ...
Sep 14, 2005

I have recently received the following message. Anyone who's ever seen one of these messages before could see straight away what the message was about, but I hev become some weird 'collector' of these stories so I had to see how it went. It's onle of the funniest ones I've seen. (Or I might just have a weird sense of humour. Apologies in this case).


From: Ahmed Williams
Tel: 0027-72-5870-437

ATTN: SIR,

PRIVATE AND HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL

Greeting! I know you will be surprised to read from
me, but please this letter is a request from a family
in dire need of assistance. I am Mr. Ahmed Williams
from Angola. The first and the only son of Brigadier
Chanza Williams communicating to you from
Johannesburg, South Africa.

I got your address from a business directory in
Johannesburg Chamber of Commerce and Industry. And,
I, on behalf of my widowed mother Mrs. Bridget
Williams decided to solicit for your assistance to
transfer the sum of US$35.8 Million (Thirty-five
Million Eight Hundred Thousand United States Dollars),
which he deposited in a safe box to private security
company in Johannesburg, South Africa.

In fact, my father said, and I quote: ?My son, I wish
to draw your attention to US$35.8 Million (Thirty-five
Million Eight Hundred Thousand United States Dollars).
I deposited the box containing the fund in a security
company in Johannesburg, South Africa as valuables.
During the war, I was very committed and dedicated in
winning the war against the rebels, until I found out
that the senior army officers and government
functionaries were busy helping themselves with
government funds and properties, sending them to
foreign countries. Due to this, when the former
adviser to the president and I were assigned by the
president (JOSE EDUARDO SANTOS) to purchase arms in
South Africa, we saw this as a golden opportunity and
diverted the money and share it, of which I got a
total sum of US$35.8 Million (Thirty-five Million
Eight Hundred Thousand United States Dollars). In
case of my absence on earth as a result of death, only
you should solicit for assistance of a reliable and
sincere foreign partner to assist you to transfer this
money out of South Africa for investment purpose. I
deposited the box in your name and you can claim it
alone with deposited code. Your mother is with all
the documents. Take good care of your mother and your
sisters.

From this words of my late father, you can understand

that life and future of my family depend on this fund,
as such I will be grateful if you can assist us. We
are now living in South Africa as political asylum
seekers. Financial laws and regulations of the
Republic of South Africa do not permit us certain
financial rights. In view of this, I cannot invest
this fund in South Africa hence; I am seeking your
assistance to transfer this fund out of South Africa
for investment purpose. For your assistance, we are
prepared to offer you 20% of the total fund while 10%
will be set aside for any expenses incurred during
this transaction.

Please note that this transaction is 100% risk-free
and the major thing I demand from you is to assure me
the safety of this money when it finally gets to you.
Further information and arrangement commence as soon
as trust confidence and good relationship are
established. I shall be most grateful if you maintain
the confidentiality of this matter. Please, confirm
your interest through the above contact Telephone
number and send me a mail .

Best regards,
AHMED WILLIAMS
For the family.


Direct link Reply with quote
 

Kirill Semenov  Identity Verified
Ukraine
Local time: 20:02
Member (2004)
English to Russian
+ ...
Lucky you, Stefania! Sep 14, 2005

So touching story... but still so familiar. I just wonder how many hidden millionaires in need they have in Africa.

Direct link Reply with quote
 

Claudia Alvis  Identity Verified
Peru
Local time: 12:02
Partial member
Spanish
+ ...
Do people fall for it? Sep 14, 2005

This kind of emails have been going around for so long, I wonder if there are people that actually fall for them.

Direct link Reply with quote
 
xxxsarahl
Local time: 10:02
English to French
+ ...
So that's where she was! Sep 14, 2005

Stefania Matei wrote:

Your mother is with all the documents.


I know you have been looking for her.


Direct link Reply with quote
 

Kathinka van de Griendt  Identity Verified
Local time: 19:02
German to English
+ ...
Sigh! Sep 14, 2005

The old Nigeria Connection does it again. What I love most about these sob-stories are the names: Ahmed "Williams", etc. No local Nigerian would carry that name with pride. The one my late husband fell for was "Dr. Mustafa Briggs". When he started calling my husband "my white brother" I started smalling a rat. Being from "Seouf Effrica" I have a notion about these things

Keep 'em coming, just don't fall for them. Yes, and people do fall for them; I speak from bitter experience!!!
Regards to all,
Kathinka


Direct link Reply with quote
 

Agnieszka Hayward
Poland
Local time: 19:02
German to Polish
+ ...
cash only! Sep 14, 2005

Dear Stefania,

provided you can be bothered to even send them a reply, I'd suggest to request them to send you the money as cash in a VERY BIG envelope, because you don't trust banks with such big money

regards,
Agnieszka


Direct link Reply with quote
 

Anne Grimes
United States
Local time: 13:02
Member (2005)
French to English
+ ...
funny! Sep 14, 2005

I get those "funny" emails every day, at least 5 of them. Some of the names are hilarious! And the stories too, I could send you a collection of them , if you would like some more to add to your 'weird' collection, just let me know! Hahaha---anne

Direct link Reply with quote
 
Jalapeno
Local time: 19:02
English to German
The best part... Sep 15, 2005

The best part is definitely this sentence:

"In case of my absence on earth as a result of death".

Lovely.

[Edited at 2005-09-29 14:09]


Direct link Reply with quote
 

Klaus Herrmann  Identity Verified
Germany
Local time: 19:02
Member (2002)
English to German
+ ...
Makes sense, though Sep 15, 2005

Jalapeno wrote:

The best part is definitely this sentence:

"In case of my absence on earth as a result of death".

Lovely.


Hmm, but that's a reasonable clause. It ensures that your money will not be given away if you've merely been abducted by aliens.


Direct link Reply with quote
 
Lise Berthiaume
Canada
Local time: 13:02
English to French
Milliardaire Sep 15, 2005

A lot of milliardaires are living in the world. I received a similar e-mail 2 days ago and I received about 5 this year. I would be a milliardaire a lot of times. The difference is the person offered me only 15% of the total of the 35 000 000 $.

I answered to the e-mail in asking him a lot of questions and I finished the e-mail by writing that he was a stupid guy who takes people for more than stupid than himself.

I regret all the money that I lost (hi.hi.hi.) but I could not resist to answer.

Lise

[Edited at 2005-09-15 17:16]


Direct link Reply with quote
 

Andy Watkinson
Spain
Local time: 19:02
Member
Catalan to English
+ ...
Hadn't thought of that........... Sep 15, 2005

Klaus Herrmann wrote:

Jalapeno wrote:

The best part is definitely this sentence:

"In case of my absence on earth as a result of death".

Lovely.


Hmm, but that's a reasonable clause. It ensures that your money will not be given away if you've merely been abducted by aliens.


..........where do I sign?

Andy


Direct link Reply with quote
 

Aurélie DANIEL  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 19:02
English to French
+ ...
Bite the biter Sep 15, 2005

Hi!

See these links for hints on how to annoy those scammers. If some time you feel nervous and want to release tension, it might be a nice way to do it, while laughing at their expense, for a change.

http://nowscape.com/suck/NIGERIAN_SCAM.htm
http://www.419eater.com/html/baiting.htm

I remember once while browsing I came across the page of a scambaiter, with the full story (and hilarious photos) of how he wasted the time of one of those scammers and made him do whatever he wanted. He told him he was a priest of some phony microreligion, and he demanded that the scammer converts to this religion, which included a ritual with green paint on the chest and silly prayers. The "poor" scammer followed his instructions for quite a while, thinking he was going to make some easy money. It was really funny, but I can't find the web right now. If you know the url, please post it here.

Cheers!


Direct link Reply with quote
 


To report site rules violations or get help, contact a site moderator:

Moderator(s) of this forum
Fernanda Rocha[Call to this topic]

You can also contact site staff by submitting a support request »

Funny: how to become a millionnaire

Advanced search






LSP.expert
You’re a freelance translator? LSP.expert helps you manage your daily translation jobs. It’s easy, fast and secure.

How about you start tracking translation jobs and sending invoices in minutes? You can also manage your clients and generate reports about your business activities. So you always keep a clear view on your planning, AND you get a free 30 day trial period!

More info »
PerfectIt consistency checker
Faster Checking, Greater Accuracy

PerfectIt helps deliver error-free documents. It improves consistency, ensures quality and helps to enforce style guides. It’s a powerful tool for pro users, and comes with the assurance of a 30-day money back guarantee.

More info »



All of ProZ.com
  • All of ProZ.com
  • Term search
  • Jobs