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Off topic: How the Internet Began...
Thread poster: Aurora Humarán
Aurora Humarán  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 05:16
English to Spanish
+ ...
Jul 4, 2002

I really did not know where to post this.

It was not written by Emily Dickinson or Jane Austen or William Blake.

It is anonymous but worth reading!!!!

Aurora





How the Internet Began



In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader

by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a

young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a

comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg.

Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.



She said unto Abraham, her husband, \"Why doth thou

travel far from town to town with thy goods when

thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?\"



And Abraham did look at her as though she were

several saddle bags short of a camel load, but

simply said, \"How, Dear?\"



And Dot replied, \"I will place drums in all the

towns and drums in between to send messages saying

what you have for sale and they will reply telling

you which hath the best price. And the sale can be

made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah\'s Pony

Stable (UPS).\"



Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot

have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and

were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the

goods he had at the top price, without ever moving

from his tent.



But this success did arouse envy. A man named

Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham\'s drum

and was accused of insider trading. And the young

men did take to Dot Com\'s trading as doth the greedy

horsefly take to camel dung. They were called

Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or

NERDS for short.



And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the

new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no

one noticed that the real riches were going to the

drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought

up every drum company in the land. And indeed did

insist on making drums that would work only with

Brother Gates\' drumheads and drumsticks.



Dot did say, \"Oh, Abraham, what we have started is

being taken over by others.\"



And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel,

or as it came to be known \"eBay\" he said, \"We need a

name that reflects what we are,\"



and Dot replied, \"Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner

Operators.\"



\"YAHOO\", said Abraham.



And that is how it all began.



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Lydia Molea  Identity Verified
Germany
Local time: 09:16
English to German
+ ...
LOL Jul 4, 2002

this is good!

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swisstell
Italy
Local time: 09:16
German to English
+ ...
and I always thought it was Al Gore (or so he claimed!) Jul 4, 2002

Quote:


On 2002-07-04 13:47, lmolea wrote:

this is good!



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Carlos Moreno  Identity Verified
Colombia
Local time: 03:16
English to Spanish
+ ...
Esta jovencita... Jul 4, 2002

Siempre introduciendo el desorden!!!!!!!!!

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Parrot  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 09:16
Member (2002)
Spanish to English
+ ...
Of the Fate of William of Gates Jul 4, 2002

And it came to pass that, after many years of stunning success, William of Gates was summoned by his Maker, of Whom he had precious little idea, as it had never concerned him too well.



-- Oh William, I am in a great dilemma. I do not know if you have done good or evil, since you have invented a Monster called Windows, and yet you have made life easier for many. I will thus allow you to choose: do you wish to go to Heaven or to Hell?

-- Lord, I had never thought about it...

-- Well, look, I will let you see both, and you yourself will choose.

-- So be it, Lord.



So William went up to Heaven and saw the choirs of angels singing and thought, \"what a drag\". And thereafter he went down to Hell, where a white, sandy beach opened up to his vision, with clear blue waters, shady palms and beautiful nymphs playing amidst the waves.



-- Lord, send me to hell!



Thus it was decreed. One year later, as the Maker walked through the Eternal Spheres, He found Brother William chained to a flogging post under a relentless sun, with blood and sweat dripping from his brow, and He asked:



-- How goeth it, Brother?

-- Badly, Lord, whatever happened to the sandy beach, the blue waters, the shady palms and the lovely nymphs?

-- Beach? Waters? Nymphs? Aaaah ... the screen-saver ... !



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SusanP
English to Spanish
+ ...
Wow Jul 4, 2002

Me encanta!!!

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MikeGarcia  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 09:16
English to Spanish
+ ...
Auh y Cecilia: son geniales! Jul 4, 2002

Ni todos los pergaminos del Mar Muerto y los profetas podrían lograr una descripción tan ajustada de la mayor droga del mundo de hoy, que es la Web.

Además, que capacidad satírica que tienen ambas! Deberían pensar en comercializarla,aunque suene algo materialista.
[addsig]


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Jack Doughty  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 08:16
Member (2000)
Russian to English
+ ...
Ode to the Works of William of Gates Jul 5, 2002

THE WINDOWS OF CHANGE



Long, long ago, in ancient times, in 1991,

I bought my first computer and was pleased with what I’d done.

My Amstrad 1640 now enabled me to start

“Word processing”, which up to then had been an unknown art.

Corrections could be made on screen before I printed out,

And paragraphs within my work could now be moved about.



Word processing went on from there and reached another stage,

When “What You See is What You Get” showed how it looked on page.

My Amstrad wasn’t brilliant with Word Perfect Five Point One.

It coped, but now it seemed a chore, where once it had been fun.



And so I got a three-eight-six to put affairs to rights.

Its hard disc memory contained two hundred megabytes,

Which was enough to get me into Microsoft’s new heaven,

Where icons could be clicked upon in Windows Three-Eleven.

And then there came the Internet, another dawning age.

It took me twenty minutes just to load a single page!



My next one was a Pentium, my fortunes to revive.

This one was good enough to cope with Windows Ninety-Five.

It was a great improvement, the neatest version yet,

And now at last I had my chance to reach the Internet.

To do that more efficiently, and at a faster rate,

I thought I would upgrade once more, to Windows Ninety-Eight.



The Pentium could handle this, it served for quite a while,

But programs got still bigger, to give more class and style.

I added Word 2000 and Uninstaller Six.

Of great size and complexity, they did fantastic tricks -

But did them sluggishly, because the Pentium was slow.

It was well past its sell-by date, and so it had to go.



The new one’s much more powerful, with massive memory.

Its Windows is Millennium, known better as M-E.

It handles all my programs and could cope with many more.

I’ll love it – for about three years, or maybe even four;

But then I’ll want another change, and so it will proceed,

For bytes build up to kilobytes to meet our growing need,

And kilobytes have Megabytes upon their backs to bite ‘em,

And Megabytes have Gigabytes, and so ad infinitum!









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Kathi Stock  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 02:16
Member (2002)
English to German
+ ...
Thanks for sharing! Jul 5, 2002

I enjoyed reading those little stories

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