Mobile menu

Off topic: An Aussie Genesis
Thread poster: José Luis Villanueva-Senchuk
José Luis Villanueva-Senchuk  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 04:03
English to Spanish
+ ...
Jul 8, 2002

Con todo respeto para mis amigos australianos.

With all respect for my Aussie mates.

Cheers,

JL



An Aussie Genesis:



In the beginning God created day and night.



He created day for footy matches, going to the beach and barbies. He created night for

going prawning, sleeping and barbies.



God saw that it was good.



Evening came and morning came and it was the Second Day.



On the Second Day God created water - for surfing, swimming and barbies on the beach.



God saw that it was good.



Evening came and morning came and it was the Third Day.



On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring forth plants - to provide tobacco, malt

and yeast for beer and wood for barbies.



God saw that it was good.



Evening came and morning came and it was the Fourth Day.



On the Fourth Day God created animals and crustaceans for chops, sausages, steak and

prawns for barbies.



God saw that it was good.



Evening came and morning came and it was the Fifth Day.



On the Fifth day God created a bloke - to go to the footy, enjoy the beach, drink the beer

and eat the meat and prawns at barbies.



God saw that it was good.



Evening came and morning came and it was the Sixth Day.



On the Sixth Day God saw that this bloke was lonely and needed someone to go to the footy,

surf ,drink beer, eat and stand around the barbie with.



So God created Mates, and God saw that they were good blokes.



Evening came and morning came and it was the Seventh Day.



On the Seventh Day God saw that the blokes were tired and needed a rest.



So God created Sheilas - to clean the house, bear children, wash, cook and clean the

barbie.



Evening came and it was the end of the Seventh day.



God sighed, looked around at the twinkling barbie fires, heard the hiss of opening beer

cans and the raucous laughter of all the Blokes and Sheilas, smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns, and God saw that it was good, better than that, it was bloody good ....



IT WAS AUSTRALIA





Direct link Reply with quote
 

Kemal Mustajbegovic  Identity Verified
Local time: 15:03
English to Croatian
+ ...
Hm? Jul 8, 2002

Bloody good one, mate!



Direct link Reply with quote
 

Al Gallo
English to Spanish
+ ...
Yeah Pepelu, that's the way it is here! Jul 8, 2002

I\'m not a meat eater, but the next time you come over I\'ll put a shrimp on the barbie.



Anoche el australiano Lleighton Hewett ganó el campeonato de tenis en Wimbledon y cuando le dieron la copa le dió un beso y dijo:

\'It\'s a ripper!\'(fabulosa!)

Estos australianos son (somos) capaces de confundir a cualquiera



Al Gallo


Direct link Reply with quote
 

Andy Watkinson
Spain
Local time: 09:03
Member
Catalan to English
+ ...
Management consultant's version of Genesis Jul 9, 2002

The King James Version of the Holy Bible is widely recognised as one of the finest pieces of writing in the English language. It begins like this:



GENESIS



CHAPTER ONE



In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

And the earth was without form and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.

And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.

And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.

And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and morning were the second day.





If King James had given the drafting job to a Management Consultancy, it would probably have read like this:



\'GENESIS\' - AN APPROACH TO PLANETARY CREATION



SECTION ONE



At the outset, God\'s agenda was to basically focus on his core deliverables, namely two leading-edge products, (a) heaven and (b) earth.

However, the earth lacked an overall concept, and had a low profile in terms of its key audiences. Obviously the Spirit of God had to step back and benchmark the existing waters before his game plan could get the green light.

And God\'s key message was that light was a strategic objective, and it was covered-off.

And God\'s perception of the light was that it was fit for purpose. However, his desired goal was that light and darkness should be differentiated in the marketplace.

So God branded the light \'Day\', and the darkness he branded \'I Can\'t Believe It\'s Not Light\'. And the evening session and morning session made up Day One.

Then God set out with the object of factoring-in a firmament to interface with the existing generic waters, to bring to the party two segmented brands.

So God tasked himself with the job of rolling-out a firmament, to supply a proactive vehicle for launching his two distinct waters products, and it was up and running.

And God branded the firmament \'heaven\'. And at close of play, the prioritised actions for Day Two were ticked off.



Direct link Reply with quote
 
António Ribeiro  Identity Verified
Local time: 17:03
English to Portuguese
+ ...
Thanks for the good laugh Jul 10, 2002

Good on you, mate.



Direct link Reply with quote
 


To report site rules violations or get help, contact a site moderator:

Moderator(s) of this forum
Fernanda Rocha[Call to this topic]

You can also contact site staff by submitting a support request »

An Aussie Genesis

Advanced search






SDL Trados Studio 2015 Freelance
The industry-leading translation software used by over 200,000 translators.

SDL Trados Studio helps translators increase translation productivity whilst ensuring quality. Combining translation memory, terminology management and machine translation in one simple and easy-to-use environment.

More info »
TMreserve
Wake up in the Morning and see that you have sold TMs and made Money overnight



The TM Market Place for Translators
New: Our Instant TM Download
TM owners: Upload your TMs into the online database
Customers: Analyse your text & instantly download a text-specific TM
Well over 1.2 BILLION translation units

More info »



All of ProZ.com
  • All of ProZ.com
  • Term search
  • Jobs