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Off topic: The prominence of proper pronunciation...
Thread poster: Radek Podolski
Radek Podolski

Local time: 00:26
English to Polish
+ ...
Nov 22, 2002

It was a long week, here is something to loosen the brain-muscle



HU\'S ON FIRST



By James Sherman



We take you now to the Oval Office.



George: Condi! Nice to see you. What\'s happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That\'s what I want to know.

Condi: That\'s what I\'m telling you.

George: That\'s what I\'m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow\'s name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya\' asking me for?

Condi: I\'m telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I\'m asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That\'s the man\'s name.

George: That\'s who\'s name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of

China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the

Middle East.

Condi: That\'s correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of

China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don\'t want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.

And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the

U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi: Rice, here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we

should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get

Chinese food in the Middle East?









hoping not to become a \"threat to national security\" and wishing all a nice weekend,



raad


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Arthur Borges
China
Local time: 15:26
English
+ ...
Dud Condi forget the Maonnaise? Nov 23, 2002

I\'m going to use it in my English class of Chinese students here. We\'re just down the road from the Great Helmsman\'s hometown.

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Jack Doughty  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 08:26
Member (2000)
Russian to English
+ ...
Reminds me of a lyric I once wrote... Nov 23, 2002

while at BBC Monitoring in 1988.



(Soviet TV news item)



2. /139/ Reagan and Shultz have received Wu Xueqian, the Chinese Foreign Minister, in Washington. (Video shows Reagan with Wu.) Wu welcomed Soviet-US arms cuts.



CHINESE MISSILE BLUES

(to the tune of the old George Formby song, “Chinese Laundry Blues”)



Oh, Mr. Wu,

We’re glad you like our treaty.

You would of course, because it leaves the Chinese sitting pretty.

Mr. Wu,

What can I do?

I’ve really got those Chinese missile blues!



I’ve got that feeling

That there’s no ceiling

On all those missiles stacked away by you!



Oh, Mr. Wu,

You’ve got us in your pocket.

This town must be a target for a long-range Chinese rocket!

Mr. Wu,

What can I do?

I sure have got those Chinese missile blues!



Like I told Nancy,

I’d kinda fancy

A treaty with those yellow devils too.



Oh, Mr. Wu,

So how about the notion

Of not a single missile round the whole Pacific Ocean?

Mr. Wu,

It’s up to you

To clear away those Chinese missile blues!





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Piotr Turski  Identity Verified
Poland
Local time: 09:26
English to Polish
+ ...
Similar jokes Nov 23, 2002

I\'ve found this link to Abbott and Costello\'s dialogue \"Who\'s on First?\":

http://fisher.osu.edu/~tomassini_1/whotext.html



If you speak Russian, I\'m sure you know the one about Avas:

http://www.jvanetsky.ru/data/text/t6/avas/



--Piotr


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