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Off topic: Basic definitions which we normally get wrong!!!!!
Thread poster: Ritu Bhanot

Ritu Bhanot  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 02:44
Member (2006)
French to Hindi
+ ...
Mar 30, 2007

Just for fun...

Few Definitions

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that
you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by
feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the
Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds
of either"

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got
caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your
Confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of
when dead.


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Cristina Popescu  Identity Verified
Romania
Local time: 03:44
English to Romanian
+ ...
Thanks! Mar 30, 2007

Thank you, Ritu!
I especially liked the definition of "marriage" and "dictionary".


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Hester Eymers  Identity Verified
Netherlands
Local time: 02:44
Member (2005)
English to Dutch
+ ...
Thank you! Mar 30, 2007

Nice distraction from a tedious job!



Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.


I did study philosophy, but am glad I didn't become one...


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K. Ponnan  Identity Verified
Malaysia
Local time: 08:44
English to Tamil
+ ...
Interesting Mar 30, 2007

Thanks Ritu. Truly interesting. Gave me a nice break from work.

My favorite was the definition on "experience" and "yawn."

KP


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William [Bill] Gray  Identity Verified
Norway
Local time: 02:44
Member (2006)
English
+ ...
Thank you... Mar 30, 2007

... Ritu, that was fun. And as Hester says, a pleasant diversion on a very busy Friday afternoon before Easter holiday week!

I liked the dictionary definition, since I work a lot with them, and strive for success in the midst of too much work!

I have another which was not on your list:

A committee
A group of people who keep minutes and waste hours!

Happy Easter,

Bill


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Tina Colquhoun  Identity Verified
Local time: 01:44
Danish to English
+ ...
Erm... Mar 30, 2007

Why is it the father who's the banker? In my experience, children fleece both parents!!!

Tina


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Jenny Forbes  Identity Verified
Local time: 01:44
Member (2006)
French to English
+ ...
Marriage Mar 30, 2007

Cristina Popa wrote:

Thank you, Ritu!
I especially liked the definition of "marriage" and "dictionary".


Another definition of Marriage:

An institution that gives you someone to share the troubles you wouldn't have had if you hadn't married him.

(or her, I suppose I should add!)

Regards,
Jenny.


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William [Bill] Gray  Identity Verified
Norway
Local time: 02:44
Member (2006)
English
+ ...
Agree... Mar 30, 2007

Tina Colquhoun wrote:


Why is it the father who's the banker? In my experience, children fleece both parents!!!

Tina


And not only sons play!!

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.


[Edited at 2007-03-30 12:31]


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Ritu Bhanot  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 02:44
Member (2006)
French to Hindi
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Glad you enjoyed it Mar 30, 2007

Tina Colquhoun wrote:


Why is it the father who's the banker? In my experience, children fleece both parents!!!

Tina


Well, I'm not the right person to ask ('coz I didn't find these definitions)... well, in countries like India usually father used to be the only earning member so...

In fact, I was thinking about the definition of Life Insurance... it is so true.

And I love Dictionary... (wish it was called life)


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Melzie
Local time: 02:44
French to English
+ ...
another Mar 30, 2007

Thoses are great. here's one more

Banker: someone who lends you an umbrella when it's sunny and takes it back when it rains

[Edited at 2007-03-30 16:07]


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megane_wang  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 02:44
English to Spanish
+ ...
Thanks, Ritu! Mar 30, 2007

Thanks for this piece of fun.

I love that "Conference Room" definition !!!

Ruth @ MW


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Hipyan Nopri  Identity Verified
Indonesia
Local time: 07:44
English to Indonesian
+ ...
Really Refreshing Mar 30, 2007

Ritu Bhanot wrote:


Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the
Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds
of either"

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got
caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your
Confidence after.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.



Hi Ritu,

Really refreshing. Apart from being jokes they also serve to mock the real cultural conditions. Your country is not so much different from mine.:)

P.S.: You look much slimmer than before. What is the secret?


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Özden Arıkan  Identity Verified
Germany
Local time: 02:44
Member
English to Turkish
Smile Mar 30, 2007

Thanks, Ritu!

Several ones are truly great, but I loved the definition of smile:

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.



Now, got to catch an occasion to use it


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Ritu Bhanot  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 02:44
Member (2006)
French to Hindi
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Simple answer Mar 30, 2007

Hipyan Nopri wrote:

Hi Ritu,

Really refreshing. Apart from being jokes they also serve to mock the real cultural conditions. Your country is not so much different from mine.:)

P.S.: You look much slimmer than before. What is the secret?


Elementary, my dear Hipyan

It's a photographer's trick.


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Ritu Bhanot  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 02:44
Member (2006)
French to Hindi
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Happy Easter William Mar 30, 2007

William [Bill] Gray wrote:

A committee
A group of people who keep minutes and waste hours!

Happy Easter,

Bill



I like this definition too

*It's true...


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