Off topic: Raising Boys - 25 key points to ponder
Thread poster: Harry Bornemann

Harry Bornemann  Identity Verified
Mexico
English to German
+ ...
Aug 8, 2007

The following came from an anonymous Mother ...

Things I've learned from my Boys (honest):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house, 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all Four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh" it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCRs do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

25. Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.


Direct link Reply with quote
 

William [Bill] Gray  Identity Verified
Norway
Local time: 22:59
Member (2006)
English
+ ...
Very good! Aug 8, 2007

Thanks, Harry.

As a man, I have sent it to some good friends: a couple with four boys who have probably completed half the test... (sorry, the items on the list!)



PS I have not tried making smoke yet!


[Edited at 2007-08-08 12:41]


Direct link Reply with quote
 

Hilde Granlund  Identity Verified
Norway
Local time: 22:59
English to Norwegian
+ ...
Makes me thankful Aug 8, 2007

that I have four daughters and no ceiling fan
Good one.


Direct link Reply with quote
 

Sonia Hill
United Kingdom
Local time: 21:59
Italian to English
Should I be worried? Aug 8, 2007

I've got a baby boy on the way in 4 weeks time!
At least I don't have a ceiling fan or a swimming pool to fill with Jell-O


Direct link Reply with quote
 

Juan Jacob  Identity Verified
Mexico
Local time: 15:59
French to Spanish
+ ...
Uh? Aug 8, 2007

80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

How did you know that? I'm just doing it.
Write you later.


Direct link Reply with quote
 

Heather Starastin
Canada
Local time: 16:59
German to English
A 4 year-old... Aug 8, 2007

... can also break a pane of glass using a plush rabbit with a plastic nose. After cleaning up and calming down, the rabbit was duly christened Attila the Bun.

The said pane of glass cost EUR 250 to replace.

I have also discovered that Euro cents will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old. Gives a whole new dimension to the term "dirty money"...


Direct link Reply with quote
 

Marijke Singer  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 21:59
Dutch to English
+ ...
17-year old son Aug 8, 2007

Just asked me where he can buy some Clorox I am glad I do not have a clue!

Direct link Reply with quote
 

Juliana Brown  Identity Verified
Israel
Local time: 16:59
Member (2007)
Spanish to English
+ ...
As the mother of two girls Aug 9, 2007

Hilde Granlund wrote:

that I have four daughters and no ceiling fan
Good one.


I would love to see a similar girls' list, as I know in the case of my two (particularly the smaller one, almost 3), that Spiderman is almost definitely modelled on a toddler aged girl. Also, Crayola markers, though they are washable, are damnably hard to get off of eyelids, when they are used as "makeup".


Direct link Reply with quote
 

Claire Cox
United Kingdom
Local time: 21:59
French to English
+ ...
Talking about dirty money... Aug 9, 2007

Heather Ferlicchia wrote:

I have also discovered that Euro cents will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old. Gives a whole new dimension to the term "dirty money"...


My 7-year-old son also discovered that a 10p piece will turn a nasty shade of mouldy green and nearly give his mother and the nurse heart failure when stuffed inside a plaster cast for a broken arm....

The joys!


Direct link Reply with quote
 
xxxGabi Ancarol
Italy
Italian to Spanish
+ ...
My one-year-old... Aug 9, 2007

...has just discovered "post-it" notes!

You can't imagine how sticky and yellowish the situation is getting round here...



[Edited at 2007-08-09 14:35]


Direct link Reply with quote
 

Monika Rozwarzewska  Identity Verified
Poland
Local time: 22:59
Member (2006)
English to Polish
+ ...
tell us! Aug 9, 2007

Juan Jacob wrote:


80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

How did you know that? I'm just doing it.
Write you later.


Tell us the results!!! I am dying to know!!!


Direct link Reply with quote
 

Özden Arıkan  Identity Verified
Germany
Local time: 22:59
Member
English to Turkish
Moved the topic... Aug 12, 2007

...to the Off topic forum.

Cheers!

Ö

[Edited at 2007-08-12 22:26]


Direct link Reply with quote
 


To report site rules violations or get help, contact a site moderator:

Moderator(s) of this forum
Fernanda Rocha[Call to this topic]

You can also contact site staff by submitting a support request »

Raising Boys - 25 key points to ponder

Advanced search






BaccS – Business Accounting Software
Modern desktop project management for freelance translators

BaccS makes it easy for translators to manage their projects, schedule tasks, create invoices, and view highly customizable reports. User-friendly, ProZ.com integration, community-driven development – a few reasons BaccS is trusted by translators!

More info »
WordFinder
The words you want Anywhere, Anytime

WordFinder is the market's fastest and easiest way of finding the right word, term, translation or synonym in one or more dictionaries. In our assortment you can choose among more than 120 dictionaries in 15 languages from leading publishers.

More info »



All of ProZ.com
  • All of ProZ.com
  • Term search
  • Jobs