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Off topic: Fake corporate motivational posters
Thread poster: Nina Khmielnitzky

Nina Khmielnitzky  Identity Verified
Canada
Local time: 03:38
Member (2004)
English to French
Aug 28, 2007

We've all seen these posters at some point. I don't know about you, but I hate them. It takes more than a nice picture and a phrase to inspire me. I was delighted when I found these: http://www.despair.com/viewall.html

They are a parody, but oh so true, of these posters and use negative words for the workplace. I'm really attracted to the "idiocy" one.
As an eternal pessimistic, I will order the pessimistic mug.


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Henry Hinds  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 01:38
English to Spanish
+ ...
Greeting Cards Aug 28, 2007

Perhaps a line of greeting cards would go great with that, for sending to family and friends.

I got a real kick out of it, cynical and perverse as I am.


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Nina Khmielnitzky  Identity Verified
Canada
Local time: 03:38
Member (2004)
English to French
TOPIC STARTER
I used one Aug 28, 2007

as a wall paper on my pc

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xxxCristina Koe  Identity Verified
Local time: 09:38
German to Italian
+ ...
Great! Aug 28, 2007

I like them all, but "idiocy" is simply great!
Thanks for the tipp


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Margreet Logmans  Identity Verified
Netherlands
Local time: 09:38
English to Dutch
+ ...
Wonderful! Aug 28, 2007

They are just great, Nina, thanks for sharing.

Personally, I like 'attitude' the best.
The pessimist mug is great too. I'll drink a toast to you with half a glass of wine tonight


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Yolanda Bello  Identity Verified
Mexico
Member (2006)
English to Spanish
+ ...
I just love them! Aug 28, 2007

But my favourite is the one that reads:

'Because none of us is as dumb as all of us'

I can't remember if it is 'teamwork' or 'meetings'.

All of them are fantastic!

Y


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Germaine07
Local time: 03:38
English to French
+ ...
Cool Aug 28, 2007

My favourite one is not there but still, it is cool to get across such stuffs

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Dubravka Hrastovec  Identity Verified
Croatia
Local time: 09:38
English to Croatian
+ ...
LOL Aug 29, 2007

I just love them!! Thanks for sharing, Nina!)

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Yolande Haneder  Identity Verified
Local time: 09:38
German to French
+ ...
... Aug 29, 2007

I think if I had such a thing on my screen all the time, I would stop running a business altogether and look for a job in a call center or Mc Donalds.

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John Cutler  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 09:38
Spanish to English
+ ...
Worth Aug 29, 2007

My favourite was: Worth

Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important.

It's like getting to eat a piece of humble pie every time you read it.


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Pernille Chapman  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 08:38
Member (2004)
English to Danish
+ ...
One specifically aimed at "bad" translators? Aug 29, 2007

Consistency: It's only a virtue if you're not a screwup.

We've probably all come across examples of this when proof-reading. Say no more...:-)


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ViktoriaG  Identity Verified
Canada
Local time: 03:38
English to French
+ ...
Seen these at thinkgeek.com Aug 29, 2007

I really like them - but I still can't figure out which room in my house has the decor to accomodate one of these. My pinky tells me it's not such a good idea to hang one above my computer... They would look great in a corporate office, though.

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Colin Brady
Local time: 04:38
SITE STAFF
:) Aug 29, 2007

I especially like how all the ones I saw were "perfect for disaffected college students".

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Nina Khmielnitzky  Identity Verified
Canada
Local time: 03:38
Member (2004)
English to French
TOPIC STARTER
I ordered a tee-shirt for a friend Aug 29, 2007

And this is the confirmation email I got. This is too funny.

Thank you for your recent order from Despair, Inc.

I'd like to personally welcome you to our growing body of Dissatisfied Customers(tm), but to do so might evidence some actual concern for service and protocol. This might
then lead to customer satisfaction, which would defeat the purpose altogether. That is why you have received this generic, form-generated email, written by some nameless lackey in our marketing department.

Having established that any pretense of consideration for *your* needs would be counter-productive to our raison d'etre at Despair Inc, let us now ponder a subject of greater interest to those among us who are worthy of both of our collective attentions - that person being me.

While you sit there wincing in disbelief at these bons mots of authentic insincerity and vexed by the intrinsic contradictions, I find I am beside myself with awe at the specimen of unparalleled angst that is our most recent Despair Catalog. Hardly a man given to superlatives, I must nevertheless assert with David-Lee-Rothian boldness that we are demonstrably without peer in the Art of Demotivation™.

And speaking of "The Art of Demotivation", my management treatise of the same name is available for purchase, and in three unique editions (four if you count the... oops, I've said
too much already).

While I could praise the book and by extension myself without end, I will instead, in the interest of at least some pretense of humility, simply note that no less a journalist than Lucy Kellaway of the respected Financial Times of London wrote of the book, "The Art of Demotivation is the most daring, funny and subversive management book ever
written."

In short, I'm the best.

For those eager to learn more about this landmark work, pay a visit to the delightful guided tour that is offered at our exclusive book website:

http://www.demotivation.com

Those ordering Chairman editions of the Art of Demotivation are reminded that each necessarily entails a slight shipping delay. Each one of these signed and numbered objets d'art is handbound upon the receipt of your order.

At long last, after this lengthy exploitation of your attention for purely selfish marketing purposes, let us move on to yet another advertisement for our company.

Despair is ever consumed in the product development process. In fact, as we speak, the small cabal of dispirited creators have thrown themselves back into the further development of our new Despair video series.
Those interested in getting a glimpse at life inside the very incorporation of Despair itself can view the videos online at:

http://www.despair.com/spin.html

In anticipation of your next question- yes, these videos and other videos are coming to a DVD Player near you in 2007. And, as always, the audience first to be informed of the release of future videos (and the DVD itself) remains the subscribers of our e-mail newsletter, "The Wailing List". So join the list now- don't make us come get you.

http://www.despair.com/subscribe1.html
If any of the information shown below is inaccurate, please notify us immediately using our new Troubled Ticketing system.

http://www.despair.com/trti.html

We will rectify your error immediately, and on some occasions, without snickering.

It is the least we can do, which, as a matter of policy, is the most we can do.

Sincerely not really writing you this email,
E.L.


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Riccardo Schiaffino  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 01:38
Member (2003)
English to Italian
+ ...
You can actually create your own on that site... Aug 29, 2007

If you look around the site, there is one place where you can create your own "Demotivator" posters.

We could create a number of them specifically designed for the translation industry, such as

TRANSLATION QUALITY
"of course we care about translation quality, until we find someone to do it cheaper"

TRANSLATION
"what's the big deal: just type the Italian words were the English are"

TRANSLATION SKILLS
"because anybody who spent a couple of weeks abroad can do it"



[Edited at 2007-08-29 21:54]


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