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Thread poster: Andrzej Lejman

Andrzej Lejman  Identity Verified
Local time: 17:36
German to Polish
+ ...
Jul 23, 2002

Tekst pojawił sie w parze EN>DE, więc pozwalam sobie udostępnic go Koleżankom i Kolegom, którzy nie śledzą tej pary.



Ich bin ein Beliner



Response to this joke:

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.



As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).



In the first year, \"s\" will be used instead of the soft \"c\". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard \"c\" will be replaced with \"k\". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.



There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome \"ph\" will be replaced by \"f\". This will make words like \"fotograf\" 20 per sent shorter.



In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent \"e\'s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.



By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing \"th\" by \"z\" and \"w\" by \"v\".



During ze fifz year, ze unesesary \"o\" kan be dropd from vords kontaining \"ou\" , and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.



Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst place .....



Z przyjacielskÄ… przestrogÄ…

pozdrawia

Andrzej


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Magda Dziadosz  Identity Verified
Poland
Local time: 17:36
Member (2004)
English to Polish
+ ...
PowracajÄ…ca melodyjka Jul 26, 2002

Dowcip przedni, choć jak się okazuje, tacy \"reformatorzy\" grasowali już wcześniej. Oto pomysł przpisywany Markowi Twainowi:



\"Spelling reform



A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter \'c\' would be dropped to be replased either by \'k\' or \'s\', and likewise \'x\' would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which \'c\' would be retained would be the \'ch\' formation, which will be dealt with later.



Year 2 might reform \'w\' spelling, so that \'which\' and \'one\' would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish \'y\' replasing it with \'i\' and Iear 4 might fiks the \'g/j\' anomali wonse and for all.



Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.



Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez \'c\', \'y\' and \'x\' -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais \'ch\', \'sh\', and \'th\' rispektivli.



Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.



Mark Twain \"



A zaczerpnięte ze świetnej strony, którą wszystkim anglistom polecam:



http://www.alt-usage-english.org/fast_faq.shtml



Magda









[ This Message was edited by: on 2002-07-26 19:11 ]


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