| Pages in topic: < [1 2 3] > | Poll: Which is your partner's native language? Thread poster: ProZ.com Staff
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| Yes, in a language that is foreign for both | Apr 14, 2007 |
Marion Schimmelpfennig wrote:
Oh, ok - maybe the partner speaks their language, or maybe even still another language that is foreign to both
When I was a young woman (many many years ago,:( and before I start loving and learning Dutch), I had a Dutch boyfriend, we communicated in English, which was a foreign language for both:)
Now, no, my husband and I have the same native language.
| | | | Julia Esrom 
Germany
Local time: 05:23
German to English
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No, I don´t mean which husband! Which native language? My husband (the one and only super husband I have) also has two native languages: Swedish and English. To add to the confusion his family is from the Swedish speaking part of Finland, so his mom speaks some weird combination of Swedish and Finnish that makes his Finnish step-dad laugh! He spent most of his childhood with his grandmother who spoke exclusively Swedish. All that in Canada, the country of the many languages! The family language... See more No, I don´t mean which husband! Which native language? My husband (the one and only super husband I have) also has two native languages: Swedish and English. To add to the confusion his family is from the Swedish speaking part of Finland, so his mom speaks some weird combination of Swedish and Finnish that makes his Finnish step-dad laugh! He spent most of his childhood with his grandmother who spoke exclusively Swedish. All that in Canada, the country of the many languages! The family languages and origins get more complicated than that. At our wedding we counted the countries we could claim to belong to and came up with seven. And what is a native language anyway? Families in today´s world become so international that it is often hard to say. ▲ Collapse
| | | | Marion Lurf
United Kingdom
Local time: 04:23
English to German
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| One I don't speak (YET!) | Apr 14, 2007 |
I'm part of the 4.7 % who don't (yet) speak their partner's native language. In my case he's Russian and we got to know each other in Scotland, so we've been speaking English with each other from day 1. It's unlikely that this will ever change, even though he's got some German (and uses it mostly when we visit Austria), and I actually started to learn Russian at some point last year but gave up after a month or two due to lack of time (bad excuse for my laziness). But never say never, I'm still ... See more I'm part of the 4.7 % who don't (yet) speak their partner's native language. In my case he's Russian and we got to know each other in Scotland, so we've been speaking English with each other from day 1. It's unlikely that this will ever change, even though he's got some German (and uses it mostly when we visit Austria), and I actually started to learn Russian at some point last year but gave up after a month or two due to lack of time (bad excuse for my laziness). But never say never, I'm still determined to learn it one day!
I don't think the use of a third language causes any additional difficulties for us; at least this way both of us have similar advantages and disadvantages when trying to express ourselves, compared to couples who use the native language of one of the partners (I've had that experience before). It will just get a little complicated when - if - we have children, as we would want them to speak at least three languages... ▲ Collapse
| | | | LinguaLab.net
United Kingdom
Local time: 04:23
English to Norwegian
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| Good poll question! | Apr 14, 2007 |
Very interesting to see the results! For some reason I thought "one of my working languages" would score higher - but the day is still young! ;o)
I live in England with my English fiancé. He doesn't speak any foreign languages yet so I speak English with him, but he does want to learn my native Norwegian. As for my other working languages - I translate from Danish and Swedish as well, but as they're so similar to Norwegian, it sounds silly when I try to speak it. It just sounds lik... See more Very interesting to see the results! For some reason I thought "one of my working languages" would score higher - but the day is still young! ;o)
I live in England with my English fiancé. He doesn't speak any foreign languages yet so I speak English with him, but he does want to learn my native Norwegian. As for my other working languages - I translate from Danish and Swedish as well, but as they're so similar to Norwegian, it sounds silly when I try to speak it. It just sounds like I'm trying to imitate another dialect... ;o) ▲ Collapse
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| One my foreign languages | Apr 14, 2007 |
That is, Russian.
Christine Schmit wrote:
I have a question for those who answered "one of my foreign languages": what language do you speak together? A mix of both
But that's something we'll have to correct when we have children, I guess...
| | | | Stephen Rifkind
Israel
Local time: 06:23
Member (2004)
French to English
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Dear Sonka:
I am an American (half French); my wife is Israeli of Iraqi parents. She is an English teacher and has lived in the U.S. Before we had our daughter, we spoke a random mixture of Hebrew and English, sometimes even in the same sentence. We have continued to do so. My daughter speaks Hebrew, living in Israel, but understands the English. So, you may end up continue speaking your dialect even with your kids. They accept anything as normal.
Stephen Rifkind
| | | | Andrea Riffo
Chile
Local time: 23:23
English to Spanish
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JaneTranslates wrote:
Our kids grew up thinking it was their right, if they had to be scolded in public, to be scolded in the language least understood by spectators.
As for me, my SO's native (and only) language is Spanish.
| | | | | To echo Angio's reply... | Apr 14, 2007 |
My husband has the same native language as I do, but...
About ten years ago I was dating a guy whose native language was Italian. We communicated in English, foreign language to us both, except when we argued. Then I would instantly revert to my native Srbian (waaay better for verbal clashes, believe you me), and he would promptly reply in - Russian!
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Christiane Hargrave (X)
Local time: 15:23
French to English
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| One I don't speak (yet!) | Apr 15, 2007 |
My partner's native language is Dari (Persian), but he also speaks fluent French and English (among others).
My native language is English.
We communicate mostly in French, but if I am feeling tired he will speak to me in French and I will reply in English; or sometimes I will speak in French and he will reply in English.
I guess it is just whatever comes out really! I don't think it really matters if you communicate in different languages, as long as you can und... See more My partner's native language is Dari (Persian), but he also speaks fluent French and English (among others).
My native language is English.
We communicate mostly in French, but if I am feeling tired he will speak to me in French and I will reply in English; or sometimes I will speak in French and he will reply in English.
I guess it is just whatever comes out really! I don't think it really matters if you communicate in different languages, as long as you can understand each other. ▲ Collapse
| | | | Clare Barnes
Sweden
Local time: 05:23
Swedish to English
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| One of my foreign languages | Apr 15, 2007 |
My partner is a native Swedish speaker, but we always speak English together - even though I now have fluent Swedish (to the level where people often don't identify as being "foreign"). We met before I could speak very much Swedish and so we've always spoken English to each other, whether it's for "discussing things" or telling jokes or anything else. We cannot speak Swedish to each other - it just doesn't work! Even if we are out in a large group and are speaking Swedish with everyone else, bot... See more My partner is a native Swedish speaker, but we always speak English together - even though I now have fluent Swedish (to the level where people often don't identify as being "foreign"). We met before I could speak very much Swedish and so we've always spoken English to each other, whether it's for "discussing things" or telling jokes or anything else. We cannot speak Swedish to each other - it just doesn't work! Even if we are out in a large group and are speaking Swedish with everyone else, both of us will break off the Swedish to speak to each other in English.
One interesting thing that we have recently realised is that other men sometimes see him as "hen-pecked" because we speak English at home, not Swedish. It's a reaction that only comes from men, particularly ones that don't know us as a couple. Would these men think I had a domineering partner if we only spoke Swedish at home, I wonder? We can laugh it off by pointing out that he usually wins when we play English scrabble (to my shame), but it does bring up lots of important issues about language and power and how other people perceive that power as being exercised. In our case it doesn't have to do with being hen-pecked, just that English has developed into what could be called our "emotional language" and so is the best way for us to communicate efficiently. Even though we could both communicate with each other in near perfect Swedish, I don't think that the words would carry the same meaning for us in Swedish as they do in English. (Which is my opinion, and I'm 99% sure he feels the same way!!!). ▲ Collapse
| | | | | Don't agree to "partner" here either... | Apr 15, 2007 |
Reed D. James wrote:
I particularly loathe this meaning of the word partner. It is always unclear what the true relationship is between the two people when I hear that word. In addition, I don't like being grouped in the same category as people who may be living together only temporarily with no legal or religious commitment. That is not to say, of course, that I'm personally against the people who choose to live in such a fashion; just that there should be a linguistic distinction between "partner" and "wife".
Yes, I entirely agree about this damaging meaning of the word partner.
To me, trying to give "partner" a new meaning in the field of love relationships has had the result of making love relationships seem business relationships (we agree that you'll give me that, I give you this, we share those, we accept x or y every even weekend...). It corrupts the meaning of love in my opinion.
How about good old "spouse or boy/girlfriend"? Wouldn't that be correct and absolutely clear? In the case of any kind of not married couples (woman+man, man+man or woman+woman), wouldn't "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" be completely correct?
| | | | Clare Barnes
Sweden
Local time: 05:23
Swedish to English
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| At the risk of starting a different thread... | Apr 15, 2007 |
...my partner is my partner and I cannot see anything "damaging" about calling him that. He is not my husband and never will be, but we fully intend to grow old together and travel through our lives together as two equal halves of a partnership. I'm sorry, but I cannot imagine him calling him my boyfriend when we are in our 50s or even our 80s. Nor do I particularly appreciate being his "girlfriend" even now, as I consider I'm no longer a "girl". Calling him my partner does nothing to corrupt th... See more ...my partner is my partner and I cannot see anything "damaging" about calling him that. He is not my husband and never will be, but we fully intend to grow old together and travel through our lives together as two equal halves of a partnership. I'm sorry, but I cannot imagine him calling him my boyfriend when we are in our 50s or even our 80s. Nor do I particularly appreciate being his "girlfriend" even now, as I consider I'm no longer a "girl". Calling him my partner does nothing to corrupt the meaning of our love for each other.
Isn't the idea of making what's been called here a "legal commitment" to a relationship through marriage just as businesslike and damaging to the idea of love? Or could it just possibly be that we are culturally blinkered about what is acceptable within other people's relationships and the names they choose to call themselves? ▲ Collapse
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| Agree with Reed AND Tomás AND Clare | Apr 15, 2007 |
I dislike both this use of partner AND the use (regarding adults) of girlfriend / boyfriend, but I don't have anything better to propose. In conversation I often use the quaint "lady friend" and "gentleman friend."
In Spanish we have "pareja," which is not confused with a business partner, which is "socio." In English, though, "partner" indeed creates confusion (witness my first posting in this thread--upon reading the quick poll, I honestly didn't know for sure whether it referred... See more I dislike both this use of partner AND the use (regarding adults) of girlfriend / boyfriend, but I don't have anything better to propose. In conversation I often use the quaint "lady friend" and "gentleman friend."
In Spanish we have "pareja," which is not confused with a business partner, which is "socio." In English, though, "partner" indeed creates confusion (witness my first posting in this thread--upon reading the quick poll, I honestly didn't know for sure whether it referred to a working partnership between two or more translators or to a life companion relationship). But feminists have fought for the right of women to be seen as women and not "girls," and "boyfriend" has always seemed ludicrous to me with a "boy" of more than, say, 25.
Hey, did I just come up with the solution? How about "life companion"? Not ideal, perhaps, but better than the other two options, IMO.
Meanwhile, I suggest that a moderator or the site staff quietly close this poll and start another, because we are straying from topic. It seems like this one has been going on long enough, doesn't it? There have already been 1128 answers to the poll and something like 27 postings in the forum.
Jane (Helen Jane Barnes de Ramírez, in full--hey, Clare, I wonder if we're related!) ▲ Collapse
| | | | Melanie Nassar
United States
Local time: 06:23
German to English
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| Neither of us is at a disadvantage | Apr 16, 2007 |
because we speak German together (a foreign language for both of us) and always have, because we met, fell in love, got married, and had most of our children in Germany. Then we forcibly switched to Arabic in the family because the kids had to start school and didn't speak any at all. We continued to speak German with each other and the side benefit was that our kids kept up with a language that was not really their native language. Now, one son speaks English to me, one speaks German, one sp... See more because we speak German together (a foreign language for both of us) and always have, because we met, fell in love, got married, and had most of our children in Germany. Then we forcibly switched to Arabic in the family because the kids had to start school and didn't speak any at all. We continued to speak German with each other and the side benefit was that our kids kept up with a language that was not really their native language. Now, one son speaks English to me, one speaks German, one speaks Arabic, and one has always spoken Arabic, but is now living in Germany and will most likely switch to German at some point. ▲ Collapse
| | | | | "Life companion" instead of "girlfriend"/"boyfriend" | Apr 16, 2007 |
Clare Barnes wrote:
...my partner is my partner and I cannot see anything "damaging" about calling him that. He is not my husband and never will be, but we fully intend to grow old together and travel through our lives together as two equal halves of a partnership.
I must explain that I said "damaging" because "partner" has the business meaning and when asked "Have you met my partner?" you don't really know what kind of relationship has your friend with the person you are being introduced to. So if you care (I normally do), in order to know you have to choose: A) observe them during the venue to see if they show signs of having a love relationship --although if they don't show any signs of that kind, you won't know, as they might simply prefer not to show their feelings in public--; b) spend the first minutes of the conversation carefully and politely trying to assess what kind of "partner" are we talking about. And there is the damage: making us all lose our precious time...
I reckon the person/people (I heard it for the first time in Germany in the 80's) who decided that "partner" was to describe a love relationship are either very well off (and have plenty of time to waste) or are adicted to watching people or the art of conversation... Personally, can I have my time back, please?
Of course I did not mean that calling your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/life companion your "partner" caused the onset of dangerous diseases, breach of law, injuries or damage to property.
In case "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" sounds too naive (although I would not mind being called "boyfriend" at 80; it would even sound lovely and refreshing), I entirely agree with Jane's "life companion". To me that would describe a life-long relationship.
[Edited at 2007-04-16 05:13]
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