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Have you heard of the recent EU agreement?
Thread poster: diana bb

diana bb  Identity Verified
Lithuania
Local time: 13:22
English to Lithuanian
+ ...
May 9, 2002

Maybe some of you have. For those who haven\'t, here is the summary (the source expressed a wish to remain anonymous). Very important, for it will definitely affect everyone translating from/into English.



A NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE



The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of negotiations, her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as ‘Euro-English’.



In the first year, ‘s’ will replace the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard ‘c’ will be dropped in favour of the ‘k’. This should klear up the konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.



There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the second year, when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced with ‘f’. This will make words like ‘fotograf’ 20% shorter.



In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the mes of the silent ‘e’s in the languag is disgraceful, and they should go away.



By the fourth year, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ with ‘z’ and ‘w’ with ‘v’. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords containing ‘ou’ and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of letters.



After zis fifz year, vi vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru!





Diana


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Katalin Horváth McClure  Identity Verified
Local time: 06:22
Member (2002)
English to Hungarian
+ ...
This is a joke May 25, 2002

I hope you did not take it seriously. This is a joke.

Check out here:



http://missionmagazine.tdlofton-ministries.net/articles/humor/100310150250399.html


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diana bb  Identity Verified
Lithuania
Local time: 13:22
English to Lithuanian
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Of course it is a joke! May 27, 2002

That\'s why I\'ve posted it

Can you imagine anyone taking it seriously?!



Diana





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Gayle Wallimann  Identity Verified
Local time: 12:22
Member (2001)
French to English
+ ...
I love it! Jun 20, 2002

That made my morning. I haven\'t looked at the forums for a while, and that hit the spot. I will have to show my English students, this will really confuse them!

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