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good psychological training
Thread poster: Michael Tovbin

Michael Tovbin  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 05:43
Member (2006)
Russian to English
+ ...
Aug 25, 2002

Something just occurred to me as I was reading postings on Kudoz.



Participating in the Kudoz Q&A is good training in restraint and tolerance. First of all, since it is in writing, I personally have to resist the urge to be rude or simply abrupt with some of the colleagues. And seeing something in writing before I actually post it makes me more aware of offensive content, so I frequently tone it down, whereas words may sometimes escape before I have time to exercise restraint.



It is also good exercise in persuasive writing. When arguing something face to face one sometimes wins arguments by lung strength alone. In writing, one has to be better at pure persuasion, at explaining things. Sometimes an obviously correct suggestion is not accepted because it is not well or adequately explained. Has happened to me many times.



Just had to pour (almost wrote \"pout\") it out.





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xxxsergey
Local time: 11:43
Russian to English
+ ...
It's more about balance really. Aug 26, 2002

And acceptance, not restraint or even patience, because those two will lead to bottling up emotions and inevitable explosion at some point sooner or later.



e.g.

While having a drink with a Scottish guy the other day he came up with a sentence about the English (you know you become more outspoken and daring after a pint or two), which turned out to be so unexpectedly funny that we both cracked up laughing, and I made a mistake of using this sentence in one of the comment exchanges with an English guy, it has now been deleted, which i think is a good idea! The English guy didn\'t really take offence (well, may be a little, sorry!) and made references to some people\'s infantile humour and mental age (ssss, that was a bit hurtful , but there was another person, who I understand, is not even English who called me a racist and demanded an apology (apologise for what? that very sentence sounds just as sarcastic as it sounds sympathetic) - I felt physically sick after that remark, in fact so sick that I wrote him an email saying something, again \'infantile\', about the hideous colours he used on his profile page, which are not even hideous, just different from what I would use on proz.com background colour (sorry!).



You see, humour is often based on irony and sarcasm, the mechanism of which is contrast - the sharper the contrast, the funnier it\'s going to be, which needs to be balanced with other people\'s sense of humour and sensibilities, and it\'s difficult because you don\'t really know most people on proz.com and can\'t really predict their reactions, which, in its turn, is stressful, because the mechanism of stress is lack of control (e.g. you are more under stress than your boss who\'s work might be even more demanding) - you don\'t know the other person\'s cultural background, his/her sense of humour, level of sensibility, motivations behind the comments, his/her physical or mental state (may be they are going through smth really hard in their life and so on and so forth). I remember a comment that was quite strange, only to find out later that that person was on pills at the time.



So, I am kinda still tuning into the ocean of wavelengths - each abound with human emotions and reactions to the very same comment.



I am glad I didn\'t make any personal remarks about other people\'s mental age, humour, grammar, geography, history - you name it!



And then there was this Jamaican guy during the computer course in Web Design that I did, not so long ago ......



not for proz.com, i am afraid , not after my experiences, thanks a lot

hope i will never grow up.





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Irina Filippova
Local time: 06:43
English to Russian
+ ...
Serenity now! ... Aug 26, 2002

Quote:


Participating in the Kudoz Q&A is good training in restraint and tolerance. First of all, since it is in writing, I personally have to resist the urge to be rude or simply abrupt with some of the colleagues.





Вспомнился эпизод из Сайнфелда, в котором отец Джоржа злоупотреблял медитационным Serenity now! ... Jerry, если память мне не изменяет, пришел к заключению, что Serenity now - insanity later.



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