| Pages in topic: < [1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26] > | Anglo-Saxon Attitudes Thread poster: H.A. (X)
|
|---|
Jack Doughty 
United Kingdom
Local time: 01:53
Russian to English
+ ...
In memoriam | How to exceed 100% | Aug 7, 2002 |
Terry Burgess posted this in the Spanish forum under the heading \"A Seriously Light Note\".
We have all been to those meetings with clients where someone
wants over 100% from us.
How about achieving 103%? Here\'s a little math that might prove helpful.
What kind of effort constitutes 100%?
If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7... See more Terry Burgess posted this in the Spanish forum under the heading \"A Seriously Light Note\".
We have all been to those meetings with clients where someone
wants over 100% from us.
How about achieving 103%? Here\'s a little math that might prove helpful.
What kind of effort constitutes 100%?
If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then it follows that:
H A R D W O R K-
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%
K N O W L E D G E-
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%
But,
A T T I T U D E-
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%
And,
B U L L S H I T-
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%
So, it stands to reason that hardwork and knowledge will get you close,
attitude will get you there,
but bullshit will put you over the top!!
Does anyone have the time and inclination to work out something similar in Russian? I spent a little time on it and came to the conclusion that as the Cyrillic alphabet has six more characters, with the last six all having very high values, and since Russian words on the whole tend to be longer, you would have to proceed in the same way but then divide the result by two. On this basis, I worked out that очковтирательство has a value of 112.5%. ▲ Collapse
| | | | Oleg Rudavin
Ukraine
Local time: 03:53
Member (2003)
English to Ukrainian
+ ...
| Раз пошла такая поэзия... | Aug 7, 2002 |
Про кузнечика и траву
(Перепевка, сочиненная в здравом состоянии)
В чащобах-трущобах травы-муравы,
где стебли - что копья, а листья, как сабли,
работал-стучал, не склонив головы,
пигме... See more Про кузнечика и траву
(Перепевка, сочиненная в здравом состоянии)
В чащобах-трущобах травы-муравы,
где стебли - что копья, а листья, как сабли,
работал-стучал, не склонив головы,
пигмей-коротышка болезненно-слабый.
Чему удивляться? В его рацион
входила лишь травка. (Не всякая, впрочем).
Короче, наесться-насытиться он
не мог, бедолажка. И все же был точен
удар молотка-колоточка в руке-
ручонке-ручушке-ручульке зеленой.
Да-да, был по жизни зелененьким шкет.
Почти изумрудным с рожденья-пеленок.
А в зарослях-дебрях кишели кишмя
фаланги, тарантулы, черные вдовы;
роились-кружили москиты, стремясь
попить-нахлебаться бедняжкиной крови.
Другой их давно бы убил-погубил
фосгеном, огнем, дихлофосом, напалмом.
Но был наш кузнец не таков: он любил
козявок-комариков. С мухами спал он,
с гадюками ел, с пауками дружил
(видать, больше не с кем дружить было крохе).
Вот так он и жил-поживал, не тужил.
Но шла как-то раз по соседней дороге
с лягушечьей мордой на жабьем лице,
вся в гадких прыщах-волдырях-бородавках,
с фурункулом жирным на самом конце
утиного носа колдунья-гадалка.
Узрела-завидела издалека
мальца-кузнеца и губу раскатала,
бездонную пасть приоткрыла слегка,
глоток - и кузнечика больше не стало.
Что думал-гадал он, теперь не узнать.
Но речь не об этом. Другое здесь важно:
того, кто не хочет с травой завязать,
огромная жаба проглотит однажды.
▲ Collapse
| | | | Nikita Kobrin
Lithuania
Local time: 03:53
Member (2010)
English to Russian
+ ...
| We have beaten them!!!!!!! Again... | Aug 7, 2002 |
Jack: \"the Cyrillic alphabet has six more characters, with the last six all having very high values\"
After some calculations based on the system that Jack has just told us about I came to the conclusion that Russian equivalent of BULLSHIT is almost twice more affective than theirs!!!
Just see: it has the same value of 103% (23+21+11+15+33) but it is 3 letters shorter!
Вот такой великий и могучий, а КПД - ... See more Jack: \"the Cyrillic alphabet has six more characters, with the last six all having very high values\"
After some calculations based on the system that Jack has just told us about I came to the conclusion that Russian equivalent of BULLSHIT is almost twice more affective than theirs!!!
Just see: it has the same value of 103% (23+21+11+15+33) but it is 3 letters shorter!
Вот такой великий и могучий, а КПД - 31+20+16 17+18+16+19+20+16 17+10+9+5+6+24!!!!!!
[ This Message was edited by: on 2002-08-09 16:14 ] ▲ Collapse
| | | | Natalie
Poland
Local time: 02:53
Member (2002)
English to Russian
+ ...
Moderator of this forum SITE LOCALIZER | Еще о травке, кузнечиках и вообще природе... | Aug 8, 2002 |
![](\"http://www.proz.com/home/4490/priroda_mat.jpg\"border=0)
| | |
|
|
|
| Wanna hear some "про Вовочку" ? No? Too late... | Aug 8, 2002 |
LITTLE BILLY ON ...GETTING OLDER
Little Billy was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said,
\"Son, you know eating all that candy isn\'t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.\"
Little Billy replied, \"My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.\"
\"Oh?\" replied the man. \" Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars... See more LITTLE BILLY ON ...GETTING OLDER
Little Billy was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said,
\"Son, you know eating all that candy isn\'t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.\"
Little Billy replied, \"My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.\"
\"Oh?\" replied the man. \" Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?\"
\"No\" replied Little Billy, \"he minded his own f*ing business!!\"
LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY
A teacher asks her class, \"If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?\"
She calls on little Billy.
He replies, \"None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.\"
The teacher replies, \"The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.\"
Then little Billy says, \"I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?\"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, \"Well, I suppose the one that\'s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.\"
To which Little Billy replied, \" The correct answer is \'the one with the wedding ring on\', but I like your thinking.\"
LITTLE BILLY ON...MATH:
Little Billy returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
\"Why?\" asks the father.
\"The teacher asked, \'How much is 2x3?\' I said 6,\" replied Billy.
\"But that\'s right!\" says his dad.
\"Yeah, but then she asked me, \'How much is 3x2?\'\"
\"What\'s the f*ing difference? \" asks the father.
\"That\'s what I said!\"
LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH:
Little Billy goes to school, and the teacher says, \"Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of multi-syllable word?\"
Billy says \" Mas-tur-bate.\"
Miss Rogers smiles and says, \"Wow, little Billy, that\'s a mouthful.\"
Little Billy says, \"No, Miss Rogers, you\'re thinking of a b-l-o-w-j-o-b.\"
LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR:
Little Billy was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, \"Miss Jones, I need
to take a piss!!\"
Miss Jones replied, \"Now, Billy, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is \'urinate\'.
Please use the word \'urinate\' in a sentence correctly and I will allow you to go.\"
Little Billy thinks for a bit, then says, \"You\'re an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you\'d be a TEN!\"
LITTLE BILLY ON ....GRAMMAR:
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word \"beautiful\" in
the same sentence twice.
First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, \"My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.\"
\"Very good, Suzie,\" replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
\"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.\"
The teacher responded, \"Excellent, Michael!\"
Then, she reluctantly called on little Billy.
\"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said \"Beautiful, just f*ing beautiful!\"
▲ Collapse
| | | | Nikita Kobrin
Lithuania
Local time: 03:53
Member (2010)
English to Russian
+ ...
Some people ungroundedly blame me that I intentionally create confusion whether I\'m a man or a woman. But do they REALLY know the difference between the two?
I NOW do. And you? If you want to test the theory in action initiate your speakers and click here: http://www.humorsphere.com/fun/womenvmen.php
Nikita
[ This Message was edited ... See more Some people ungroundedly blame me that I intentionally create confusion whether I\'m a man or a woman. But do they REALLY know the difference between the two?
I NOW do. And you? If you want to test the theory in action initiate your speakers and click here: http://www.humorsphere.com/fun/womenvmen.php
Nikita
[ This Message was edited by: on 2002-08-08 19:04 ] ▲ Collapse
| | | | Marina Hayes (X)
Local time: 20:53
English to Russian
+ ...
| Никита, я думала, у меня компьютер развалится, нельзя же так, без предупреждения! | Aug 9, 2002 |
Стихотворение. Читать с выражением громко вслух!
2 15 42
42 15
37 08 5
20 20 20
38 46
0 4 20
7 08 33
20 20 20
45 108 2
47 16
3 4 502
20 20 20
7 14 100 0
0 0 0 13
37 08 5
20 20 20
А вот еще:
511 16
5 20 337
712 19... See more Стихотворение. Читать с выражением громко вслух!
2 15 42
42 15
37 08 5
20 20 20
38 46
0 4 20
7 08 33
20 20 20
45 108 2
47 16
3 4 502
20 20 20
7 14 100 0
0 0 0 13
37 08 5
20 20 20
А вот еще:
511 16
5 20 337
712 19
2000047
3 1512
16025
11 0 3 15
100006 02 05
▲ Collapse
| | | | Jack Doughty
United Kingdom
Local time: 01:53
Russian to English
+ ...
In memoriam | More road signs to add to Natalie's | Aug 11, 2002 |
(The way this looks at the moment, the photos probably aren\'t going to come out, but I\'ll go ahead & post it anyway & hope for the best)
Erk !
In case Batman gets lost, presumably.
Decisions, decisions!
Enough said.
Only 36% of women ever find this.
…obviously
Harsh methods of population control.
... See more (The way this looks at the moment, the photos probably aren\'t going to come out, but I\'ll go ahead & post it anyway & hope for the best)
Erk !
In case Batman gets lost, presumably.
Decisions, decisions!
Enough said.
Only 36% of women ever find this.
…obviously
Harsh methods of population control.
Hurrah !
Yes, well, err……?
Hope it’s not urgent.
Tasty.
Prince Phillip says much the same.
Not on the first date, though.
= “You’re shagged”.
So make sure it’s on your CV.
Hygiene is important.
It’s a dream come true.
McDeath ?
Spoilsports.
Not even an emergency phone.
To chill out those stressed rabbits.
An American sign. Obviously.
Ooops.
Another dream come true….
What exactly is the alternative to “While U Wait ?
Such insight……
▲ Collapse
| | |
|
|
|
Jack Doughty
United Kingdom
Local time: 01:53
Russian to English
+ ...
In memoriam | Без фотографий ничего не значит | Aug 11, 2002 |
No, sorry, that was a total failure. Natalie, how did you manage to insert that picture?
| | | | Natalie
Poland
Local time: 02:53
Member (2002)
English to Russian
+ ...
Moderator of this forum SITE LOCALIZER | Jack, the picture should be uploaded | Aug 11, 2002 |
to your site (or you should indicate the path to it).
In my case I uploaded the image to my homepage and here\'s what you should put in the body of your message to show the full path to it:
< img src =\"http://www.proz.com/home/4490/filename.jpg\"border=0 >
(Please note, that there should be no spaces after \"\" )
To upload an image to your site, please go to your profile page, click Edit your site (bottom left),... See more to your site (or you should indicate the path to it).
In my case I uploaded the image to my homepage and here\'s what you should put in the body of your message to show the full path to it:
< img src =\"http://www.proz.com/home/4490/filename.jpg\"border=0 >
(Please note, that there should be no spaces after \"\" )
To upload an image to your site, please go to your profile page, click Edit your site (bottom left), enter your usual username and password, go to the bottom of the page, choose the file(s) you want to upload to the site, click \"upload\".
[ This Message was edited by: on 2002-08-11 17:05 ] ▲ Collapse
| | | | Jack Doughty
United Kingdom
Local time: 01:53
Russian to English
+ ...
In memoriam | Thanks, Natalie | Aug 11, 2002 |
I had no idea of any of that. I\'ll try it one of these days when I have some time to spare.
| | |
|
|
|
| HELP-in-a-helicopter | Aug 13, 2002 |
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft\'s electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter\'s position and course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circle, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter\'s window. The pilot\'s sign said \"WHERE I AM?\" in large letters.
... See more A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft\'s electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter\'s position and course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circle, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter\'s window. The pilot\'s sign said \"WHERE I AM?\" in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said \"YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER\".
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the \"YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER\" sign helped determine their position.
The pilot responded: \" I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because, similar to their help-lines, they gave me technically correct but completely useless answer.\" ▲ Collapse
| | | | Hecuba2 (X)
English to Russian
+ ...
| WINDOWS HAIKUS | Aug 14, 2002 |
\"In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful
Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry
messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction rules: each
poem has only 17 syllables; 5 syllables in the first, 7 in
the second, 5 in the third. They are used to communicate a
timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning
and powerful insight through extreme brevity. Here are
actual error messages from Ja... See more \"In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful
Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry
messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction rules: each
poem has only 17 syllables; 5 syllables in the first, 7 in
the second, 5 in the third. They are used to communicate a
timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning
and powerful insight through extreme brevity. Here are
actual error messages from Japan that are the essence
of Zen:
------------------------------------------
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
-------------------------------------------
The Web site you seek
Cannot be located,
but Countless more exist.
--------------------------------------------
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
-----------------------------------------------
Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
------------------------------------------------
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
--------------------------------------------------
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
---------------------------------------------------
First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
---------------------------------------------------
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
\"My Novel\" not found.
--------------------------------------------------
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao-
until You bring fresh toner.
--------------------------------------------------
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
---------------------------------------------------
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
--------------------------------------------------
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
---------------------------------------------------
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
---------------------------------------------------
Having been erased,
The document you\'re seeking
Must now be retyped.
---------------------------------------------------
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank
▲ Collapse
| | | | Oleg Rudavin
Ukraine
Local time: 03:53
Member (2003)
English to Ukrainian
+ ...
| Заранее прошу прощения!.. | Aug 14, 2002 |
Вычитано в старом \"Плейбое\":
В море сближаются американская и русская подводная лодки. РАдисты устанавливают связь:
- This is Captin Black speaking.
- Капитан Фокин.
Связь обрывается.
Проходит полчаса, связь восстанавливается:
- This is Captin Black...
- Капитан Фокин.
Очередная пропажа связи. Спустя час.
- Captin Black...
- Капитан Фокин.
- What!? Still f...cking?
| | | | | Pages in topic: < [1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26] > | To report site rules violations or get help, contact a site moderator: You can also contact site staff by submitting a support request » Anglo-Saxon Attitudes No recent translation news about Russian Federation. |
| Anycount & Translation Office 3000 | Translation Office 3000
Translation Office 3000 is an advanced accounting tool for freelance translators and small agencies. TO3000 easily and seamlessly integrates with the business life of professional freelance translators.
More info » |
| | Trados Business Manager Lite | Create customer quotes and invoices from within Trados Studio
Trados Business Manager Lite helps to simplify and speed up some of the daily tasks, such as invoicing and reporting, associated with running your freelance translation business.
More info » |
|
| | | | X Sign in to your ProZ.com account... | | | | | |
Login to reply/comment 
Translation news in Russian Federation
