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Anglo-Saxon Attitudes
Thread poster: xxxH.A.
xxxH.A.
English to Russian
+ ...
Dec 12, 2001

В связи с недавними шутками по поводу того, что американцы пишут «неправильно», я вспомнила шутку, которую где-то недавно то ли прочитала, то ли услышала:

Американский солдат возвращается с фронта второй мировой войны. В вагоне тесно, у окна сидит англичанка, а рядом с ней - крошечная собака. Солдат спрашивает: «Мэм, Вы не возражаете, если я сяду на место Вашей собачки, а её возьму на колени?» Дама отвечает ледяным тоном: \"You Americans are so rude!\" Через некоторое время, солдат, переминаясь с ноги на ногу, говорит: «Мэм, я еду с фронта, я устал и не спал несколько ночей, - может быть всё-таки Вы согласитесь подвинуть Вашу собачку?» Дама опять отвечает: \"You Americans are so rude!\" Солдат наконец не выдерживает, берет собачку, вышвыривает её в окно и садится на её место. Дама теряет дар речи, а джентльмен, сидящий напротив, говорит: \"Not only you Americans are rude, use the wrong words and drive the wrong side of the road, -but just now you have thrown the wrong b*tch out of the window\".



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Rasha Brinkmann-Yahya
Local time: 21:28
German to English
+ ...
Your message was only partially legible Dec 13, 2001

Hello Hafiza,



unfortunately, I could read only a few lines of your posting, the rest looked like a binary code or something like that on my sceen. All I got out of it was that somebody thinks all Americans are of Anglo-Saxon descent, but I have no clue, why they are considered as rude. Would you be so kind and explain, what\'s going on? Thanks!



Greetings,

Rasha

(American of German/Arab Descent)


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xxxH.A.
English to Russian
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
translation for Rasha Dec 13, 2001

Quote:


On 2001-12-13 11:21, Rasha wrote:

Would you be so kind and explain, what\'s going on?





Rasha, I am sorry if the title of my posting appeared misleading - the message is in the Russian language and Cyrillic font. Recently, in the Russian-English KudoZ section there was a question that invoked some jokes about the American tendency to reduce spelling to a more \"user-friendly\" fashion - which reminded me of a joke that I recently read. An American soldier was returning home from a WWII battle. There were no vacant seats in the wagon, but next to an English lady there was a seat occupied by her tiny dog. The soldier asked the lady if she would agree if he took the dog in his lap and sat down. The lady said indignantly, \"You Americans are so rude!\". Having approached her several times in the most polite way and having let her know that he had not slept for several nights in a row and had been tired, he lost his patience, took the dog, threw it out of the window and sat down. A gentleman sitting across said, \"You Americans are rude, use the wrong words and drive the wrong side of the road - and right now you have thrown the wrong b* out of the window.\"

P.S. Why \'Anglo-Saxon Attitudes\'? there is a famous novel with the same title by Aldous Huxley.

[ This Message was edited by: on 2001-12-13 20:28 ]

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AndrewBM
Ireland
Local time: 02:28
Spanish to English
+ ...
Так забавно: Dec 14, 2001

анекдот и письмо Раши!




[addsig]


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Oleg Rudavin  Identity Verified
Ukraine
Local time: 04:28
Member (2003)
English to Ukrainian
+ ...
Предлагаю превратить этот topic РІ страничку Р»РёРЅРіРІРёСЃС‚РёС‡РµС Dec 14, 2001

Вот мой, для большинства, наверное, известный.

Ирландец у авиакассы в Москве:

- Two tickets to Dublin.

- Куда, блин?


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xxxH.A.
English to Russian
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Re: stupid Dec 15, 2001

В связи с вчерашним вопросом о переводе слова «дурак». В Америке есть серия анекдотов, которые начинаются с \"your Mama\'s so stupid/fat/ и т.д.\" - типа детсадовских оскорблений. Например:

Yo\' mama so stupid, she went to the police station and said, \"Give me all your money!\"

А если ещё кто-нибудь кроме меня любит глупый юмор , то вот один из линков:

http://www.thecomedylab.com/jokes/





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AndrewBM
Ireland
Local time: 02:28
Spanish to English
+ ...
Here's more for you (hope no one takes them too seriously): Dec 15, 2001

Yo momma\'s so stupid,

she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

she ordered a cheese burger from McDonald\'s and said \"Hold the cheese.\"



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out.



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W\'s.



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

she ordered her sushi well done.



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

she thought she needed a token to get on soul train.



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

she bought a solar powered flashlight.



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

she told everyone that she was \"illegitiment\" because she couldn\'t read.



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

she got hit by a parked car.



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

she sold the car for gas money.



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

she thought asphalt was a skin disease.



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

she thought Delta Airlines was a sorority.



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

when she saw the \"NC-17\" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

when she heard 90% of all accidents occur around the home, she moved.



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

she\'s(так, это уже нецензурно)



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

she asked you what the number for 911 was.



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Doggy Dogg\'s holiday album.



Yo momma\'s so stupid,

she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.



_________________



[ This Message was edited by: on 2001-12-16 17:59 ]

[ This Message was edited by: on 2001-12-16 18:01 ]


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xxxH.A.
English to Russian
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Спасибо, Олег. Я знаю ещё один из этой серии Dec 15, 2001

Это мне рассказал «новый русский знакомый»:

Его собрат звонит из своего номера в room service: «Ту ти ту ту». Перевод: «два чая в номер 2».



P.S. а может быть, я что-то напутала и там было смешнее

[ This Message was edited by: on 2001-12-15 17:49 ]


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AndrewBM
Ireland
Local time: 02:28
Spanish to English
+ ...
Мастер-класс переводчика Dec 15, 2001

In a Tokyo hotel:

Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing please do not read this notice.



In a Bucharest hotel lobby:

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During the time we regret that you will be unbearable.



In a Leipzig elevator:

Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.



In a Belgrade hotel elevator:

To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.



In a Paris hotel elevator:

Please leave your values at the front desk.



In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:

Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.



On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.



Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:

Ladies may have a fit upstairs.



In a Bangkok dry cleaners:

Drop your trousers here for best results.



In a Rhodes tailor shop:

Order your summers suit. Because is a big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.



In a Zurich hotel:

Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex

in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.



In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:

Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.



In a Rome laundry:

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.



In a Swiss mountain inn:

Special today: no ice cream



In a Bangkok temple:

It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner, if dressed as a man.



In a Tokyo bar:

Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.



In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:

Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.



In a Budapest zoo:

Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.



In the office of a Roman doctor:

Specialists in women and other diseases.



From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:

Cooles and Heates: If you want to just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.



From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:

When a passenger of food heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him

melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.



Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:

English well talking

Here speeching America



From a sign in a commercial parking lot, downtown San Francisco:

All day $7.00. Free In-and-Out.



A turf sign in Singapore:

Expectoration upon grass and refuse upon grass and amble upon grass and glee upon notice may procure unfortunate backlash. Upon authority.



In a Finnish hotel room:

In case of fire, please stuff a towel under the door, and expose yourself at the window.




[addsig]


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Sabina Norderhaug
English to Russian
+ ...
Вот еще пара: Dec 16, 2001

Quote:


On 2001-12-15 17:44, Hafiza wrote:

Это мне рассказал «новый русский знакомый»:



---------------

Первый - тоже про новых русских:



Пособие по английскому языку для новых русских:

Неопpеделенный аpтикль \"a\" пеpеводится на pусский как \"типа\",

а опpеделенный аpтикль \"the\" - как \"конкpетно\".



-------------------

А второй совсем старый, но мне уж очень нравится.



Сцена в гостиной. Джентельмен читает вечернюю газету. Звонок в дверь, дворецкий идет открывать. Заходит второй джентельмен.



-Добрый вечер, сэр.

- Добрый вечер.

- А погода сегодня не очень.

- Это характерно для текущего времени года.

- Что в газетах?

- Как всегда, одни сплетни.

- А ваша жена дома?

- Да, она наверху. Проходите.



Вторая сцена. Та же гостиная, но на следующее утро. Джентельмен пьет кофе и читает утреннюю газету. Второй джентельмен спускается сверху.



- Доброе утро, сэр.

- Доброе утро.

- Как ваш кофе?

- Спасибо. Отличный как всегда.

- Что пишут в газетах?

- Как всегда одни сплетни.

- А ваша жена нынче была что то уж очень холодна.

- Да она и при жизни не отличалась особой горячностью...







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Sabina Norderhaug
English to Russian
+ ...
А по-китайски слабо? Dec 16, 2001

Quote:


то вот один из линков:

http://www.thecomedylab.com/jokes/





Нашла на том же сайте. Смеялась до коликов



Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding

See me A.S.A.P. - Kum Hia Nao

Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni

Your price is too high - No Bai Dam Thing

Did you go to the beach - Wai Yu So Tan

I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a facelift - Chin Tu Fat

It\'s very dark in here - Wai So Dim?

Has your flight been delayed? - Hao Long Wei Ting?

That was an unauthorized execution.- Lin Ching

I thought you were on a diet - Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone. - No Pah King

You are not very bright - Yu So Dum

I got this for free - Ai No Pei

I am not guilty - Wai Hang Mi?

Please, stay a while longer - Wai Go Nao?

Our meeting was scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao

They have arrived - Hia Dei Kum

Stay out of sight - Lei Lo

He\'s cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka

Does this bathroom stink! Hu Flung Dung?



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Sabina Norderhaug
English to Russian
+ ...
А по-итальянски? Dec 16, 2001




I Gonna Back to Italy



(Attention: This must be read with an Italian accent, preferably out loud.)

One day Ima gonna Malta to a bigga hotel. Ina morning I go to eat brekfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She says go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna two piss onna my plate. She say you better not not piss on plate you sonna ma bitch. Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone does. I tella her you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. She say better not fock on table, you sonna ma bitch. I don\'t even know the lady and she call me a sonna ma bitch. So I go to my room inna hotel, and there is no sheit. I call the manager and tella him I wanna a sheit. He tella me go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna sheit on my bed. He say you better not piss on bed you sonna ma bitch. I don\'t even know the man and he call me a sonna ma bitch. I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: \'\'Peace unto you\'\' I say \'\'Piss unto you too ya, sonna ma bitch. I gonna back to Italy\'\'



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