Mobile menu

Off topic: OFF-TOPIC Contestadores telefĂłnicos....
Thread poster: Aurora Humarán
Aurora Humarán  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 00:16
English to Spanish
+ ...
Sep 1, 2002


Buen morning....

Siguiendo aquellos consejos de la mexicana Laura Esquivel Âżnos reĂ­mos un rato?...

Me lo enviaron por mail y me hizo reir muchĂ­simo y me llegĂł muy de cerca porque ODIO los contestadores telefĂłnicos y soy de esas \"viejitas no aggiornadas\" que llama al BostonBank y pide \"que me atienda UN SER HUMANO!!!!\"....



Cariños a todos y que hagan un lindo día.

Hasta la prĂłxima!

Aurora











...AaaahhhH!!!





Ud. se ha comunicado con la Hot-Line del psiquiatra... relájese y cuenteme sus problemas...



Si Ud. es un obsesivo compulsivo, presione el 1 repetidas veces.



Si Ud. es un dependiente, pĂ­dale a alguien que presione el 2 por Ud.



Si Ud. posee mĂşltiples personalidades, presione 3, 4, 5 y 6.



Si Ud. sufre de alucinaciones, presione 7 y su llamada será transferida al departamento de Elefantes Rosados.



Si Ud. sufre de amnesia, presione 8 y diga en voz alta su nombre, dirección, teléfonos, cédula, fecha de nacimiento, estado civil y el apellido de soltera de su madre.



Si usted sufre de estrés post-traumático, presione lentamente la tecla \'#\' hasta que alguien se apiade de usted.



Si Ud. es paranoico, sabemos exactamente quién es y qué quiere. Solo manténgase comunicado para que podamos rastrear la llamada.



Si Ud. es esquizofrénico, escuche atentamente y una pequeña voz le susurrará que número apretar.



Si Ud. es indeciso, deje su mensaje luego de escuchar la señal... o antes de la señal... o después de la señal... o durante la señal. En todo caso, espere la señal...



Si sufre de perdida de la memoria a corto plazo, presione 9.



Si sufre de pérdida de la memoria a corto plazo, presione 9.



Si sufre de pérdida de la memoria a corto plazo, presione 9.



Si sufre de pérdida de la memoria a corto plazo, presione 9.



Si Ud. es un maniático depresivo, no importa qué número presione... nadie atenderá.



Si tiene el autoestima baja, por favor cuelgue. Todos nuestros operadores están ocupados atendiendo a personas importantes.



Y recuerda, 1 de cada 4 personas posee transtornos mentales.

Por lo tanto, busca a 3 amigos, si ellos están bien... tu eres el enfermo.





Direct link Reply with quote
 

Jack Doughty  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 04:16
Member (2000)
Russian to English
+ ...
Poema pertinente en inglés Sep 1, 2002

Escúlpeme por este posting no en español, pero la poema es muy pertinente a la tema.



From UK newspaper \"Daily Express\", 05/07/2002. Author unknown.



THE ANSWERPHONE MESSAGE WITH A DIFFERENCE



Good morning, and thank you for calling this awfully large PLC,

But we’re frightfully busy and all in a tizzy – I’m sorry, there’s nobody free.

I hope you won’t think it appalling, but patience is good for the soul;

So we’re making you wait on a premium rate while your bill spirals out of control.



Please hold, and we’ll tinkle a ditty; it’s Greensleeves, or something inane.

Completely moronic, it’s plinks electronic, played over and over again.

With luck, we shall play something pretty, by Mozart, Vivaldi or Brahms;

But when you’re on hold, even Bach leaves you cold, and Beethoven loses his charms.



Press 1 if you’ve phoned for a brochure. Press 2 if you want a free trial.

For orders, press 3, then depress the hash key and enter your code on the dial.

Perhaps you would like something kosher, by courier straight to your door;

Salt beef or chopped liver we’re pleased to deliver. For smoked salmon bagels, press 4.



Do you perhaps know the extension of someone with whom you could speak?

Well, probably not. It’s quite a long shot – we changed all the numbers last week.

We hope this won’t cause hypertension – press 6 if you start to feel faint;

And if it gets worse, press 7 for nurse, or 8 for a gastric complaint.



I’m sorry we’re keeping you waiting. I’m sorry we’re wasting your life;

We’re usually quick, but Tracy’s off sick, and Jason’s just split from his wife.

I’m sorry if I’ve understated the difficulties we’ve been through

Since the auditors came and uncovered our game, and the Boss flitted off to Peru.



Our shares have, I fear, been suspended. Our dotcom adventure’s gone bust.

While telephones ring or connect to this thing, our Company crumbles to dust.

We hope that you won’t be offended when the queue you are held in gets stuck.

So if you’re still there, press 5 for despair. For all other queries – tough luck!





Direct link Reply with quote
 
Aurora Humarán  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 00:16
English to Spanish
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Jack sos siempre bienvenido a este foro... Sep 1, 2002

Es más...¿querés que te adoptemos en el foro \"latino\"?

Yo voto porque te adoptemos con pasaporte y todo por \"compatibilidad de caracteres\"



Cariños desde Buenos Aires y gracias por el aporte.



Aurora


Direct link Reply with quote
 

MarĂ­a T. Vargas  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 05:16
English to Spanish
+ ...
Gracias Jack Sep 1, 2002

Your contribution is truly delightful. Thanks a lot for such a good piece of humour!

\"Un abrazo\"

Pampi


Direct link Reply with quote
 
JosĂ© Luis Villanueva-Senchuk  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 00:16
English to Spanish
+ ...
Si está de vacaciones y quiere gente maravillosa alrededor, marque Buenos Aires :-) Sep 1, 2002

Hola,



Me pareciĂł genial



Jack, eres bienvenido. Del pasaporte me encargo yo.



Ciao a tutti,



JL


Direct link Reply with quote
 

MikeGarcia  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 05:16
English to Spanish
+ ...
I loved it!! Sep 1, 2002

Auh and Jack,

Between both of you my rather tremulous and sturdy evening tradlating awful financial/legal documents, agreements and contracts has been illuminated.

And PepelĂş is GGGRRREEEAATT!! Cointreau and Bailey\'s ???

A truly british sense of humour coming from Jack plus Auh\'s latin touch and Pepelú´\'s \"man of the world\" remarks,what else do we need?


Direct link Reply with quote
 

Claudia Alvis  Identity Verified
Peru
Local time: 22:16
Partial member
Spanish
+ ...
The Alzheimer's Answering Machine Sep 2, 2002

Hola a todos



Siguiendo con el tema, les mando este enlace, ahí podrán oir \"The Alzheimer\'s Answering Machine\", de los geniales Monty Pythons.



http://jokecentral.topcities.com/Video-Alzheimers.htm



Besos.



Claudia



Direct link Reply with quote
 

Patricia Posadas  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 04:16
Member (2002)
English to Spanish
+ ...
Great , Jack! Sep 2, 2002

I am glad you shared this with us. It means somehow you are already a part of our community!





Direct link Reply with quote
 


To report site rules violations or get help, contact a site moderator:


You can also contact site staff by submitting a support request »

OFF-TOPIC Contestadores telefĂłnicos....

Advanced search






memoQ translator pro
Kilgray's memoQ is the world's fastest developing integrated localization & translation environment rendering you more productive and efficient.

With our advanced file filters, unlimited language and advanced file support, memoQ translator pro has been designed for translators and reviewers who work on their own, with other translators or in team-based translation projects.

More info »
Websites for Translators
Build your new website, create a set of compelling graphics or find a new branding path with us.

We help both freelance translators and established translation agencies by applying online marketing strategies in the competitive world of languages. Click below to find out more!

More info »



All of ProZ.com
  • All of ProZ.com
  • Term search
  • Jobs