English translation: Executing the Client’s order on every deal or service, payments are made directly between the client
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GLOSSARY ENTRY (DERIVED FROM QUESTION BELOW)
English term or phrase:
Executing the Client’s order on every deal or service payments are made directly between the client
English translation:
Executing the Client’s order on every deal or service, payments are made directly between the client
-------------------------------------------------- Note added at 6 mins (2007-07-13 09:11:39 GMT) --------------------------------------------------
"executing" is singular and therefore "are" is incorrect. Moreover, after "every" the singular formis used; hence, it is not "service payments" but rather "service payment."
Finally, not grammatical in nature, but lexical, I changed "made" to "done" since I am assuming that the subject is the execution itself; however, if we placed a comma after "service," then "payment" would be the subject and "made" would be the correct lexical usage.
-------------------------------------------------- Note added at 13 mins (2007-07-13 09:18:58 GMT) --------------------------------------------------
If the idea being conveyed is that payment is made directly between the client and the agency, and that this is ancillary to the execution of the client's order, then it would be written as follows
Executing the Client’s order on every deal or service, payments are made directly between the Client and the Agency.
A simple comma would clarify everything in this case.
Explanation: As you say, the sentence as it stands just doesn't work. However, adding a word such as "arrangements" at the beginning improves it considerably - "Arrangements executing the client's order .... are made directly...."
Armorel Young Local time: 20:45 Native speaker of: English
Explanation: "Executing the Client’s order on every deal or service payments which are made directly between the Client and the Agency."
Could be another possibility according to your context.
LesBrets France Local time: 21:45 Native speaker of: French
Executing the Client’s order on every deal or service payment is done directly between the client
Explanation: and the agency.
Mike :)
-------------------------------------------------- Note added at 6 mins (2007-07-13 09:11:39 GMT) --------------------------------------------------
"executing" is singular and therefore "are" is incorrect. Moreover, after "every" the singular formis used; hence, it is not "service payments" but rather "service payment."
Finally, not grammatical in nature, but lexical, I changed "made" to "done" since I am assuming that the subject is the execution itself; however, if we placed a comma after "service," then "payment" would be the subject and "made" would be the correct lexical usage.
-------------------------------------------------- Note added at 13 mins (2007-07-13 09:18:58 GMT) --------------------------------------------------
If the idea being conveyed is that payment is made directly between the client and the agency, and that this is ancillary to the execution of the client's order, then it would be written as follows
Executing the Client’s order on every deal or service, payments are made directly between the Client and the Agency.
A simple comma would clarify everything in this case.
The translation workplace 
