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English to English translations [Non-PRO] Marketing - Idioms / Maxims / Sayings / US vs. UK expressions
English term or phrase:take a whizz
Sentence fragment in question: "...in the classical music world, he can't take a whizz without someone wanting to shake his hand"
In following to the previous query, I'm trying to convert this colorful US expression into something a bit more British-sounding.
The fragment is merely indicative of extreme popularity/celebrity in one's respective field (in this case, classical music), while not necessarily being as well-known to the general public. "Taking a whizz" is more or less US slang. I haven't lived in the UK long enough to know what people might be more apt to say in such instances.
Explanation: Tony may not rate it but this is the one that works best for me, and it is very close to the American term (which, by the way, is a new one on me).
Unless you want to be frightfully British, and "point Percy at the porcelain".
-------------------------------------------------- Note added at 16 hrs (2010-03-30 13:57:20 GMT) --------------------------------------------------
From the additional context, it's quite clear that we don't want to be too "dainty" about this. It's the old joke of people expecting a (male) celeb to turn round and shake their hand without soaking their feet. I don't think it matters if you choose an exclusively-male expression - this sort of thing just doesn't happen to female celebs, after all!
Tell me, why is it that if you mention "classical music" everyone is supposed to whisper polite nothings in dinner jackets? Didn't Bach, Mozart and co. urinate?
Thanks everyone for your collective input. I went with "he can't even point Percy without someone wanting to shake his hand" since it fits the nuance of having one's hand(s) occupied while urinating, and it makes my client giggle at the same time, which is what we're going for. 4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer
This urinating expression is key, and it goes a bit deeper than just looking for an expression to indicate getting attention... We're dealing with a pianist. Pianists are skilled with their hands. Some go even as far as to take out an insurance policy on them. And a fan wanting being able to shake those illustrious and so gifted hands is like a leper dying (no pun intended) to touch the hem of Jesus' garment.
Generally, classical music is a sterile world; everything has to be neat, proper, clean... sanitary, if you will. Most people would dare not shake anyone's hand if they had just wiped their butt or touched their penis to urinate without those hands having been washed. It's outright unsanitary since men usually hold onto their wieners while urinating. If people are willing to shake his hand while urinating, not only does that indicate a somewhat paparazzi-esque status (invading private space), but that people in the know would be willing to disregard the sanitation aspect to have an opportunity to shake the very hands that made him the great pianist that he is.
So yes, the urinating aspect holds a bit more nuance.
I thought "to take a whizz" was British English anyway. It is listed in the OED without further comment, but isn't listed at all in MW 3rd International.
The text is merely promotional hype. We're dealing with marketing copy that is supposed to boost the image and "perceived" popularity among fans. We're not trying to wow them with Shakespeare, but rather light, everyday language.
As for the register, the original statement is not pejorative or indicative of arrogance. The "farting" or "coughing" suggestion implies that people are bowing down to his every want and need, whereas the "taking a whizz" means he cannot do the most private of things (like urinate) without still being in the spotlight, which is a bit more passive.
about the stage at the Live Earth concert being illuminated by the light that shines out of Bono's arse. I assume you do not want to be quite so irreverent.
Like Mark, I'd need to know more about the register of your article before I suggested anything here. To my eyes, both Mark and Tony's suggestions, whilst valid, are really very colloquial and I wouldn't expect to find them in a serious article. Tabloid press perhaps....
as in, "all he has to do is fart and someone shakes his hand". I am just not sure of th etone of your text.
Automatic update in 00:
Answers
12 mins confidence: peer agreement (net): +4
go for a pee
Explanation: Since clearly the actual act itself is not paramount here, I'd say this might do, if you want to stick close to the original.
Also possible 'take a leak', but I think that doesn't quite seem to fit so well to my ears.
-------------------------------------------------- Note added at 25 mins (2010-03-29 21:39:14 GMT) --------------------------------------------------
If you wanted to avoid the lavatorial aspect for register reasons, you could always say something like 'he only has to cough', etc.
-------------------------------------------------- Note added at 26 mins (2010-03-29 21:41:04 GMT) --------------------------------------------------
'go to the loo' is of course another one, directly equivalent to the US 'go to the bathroom' — but I don't know if it's just me, that seems to have a slightly dated ring about it these days? I know it's what we said in the 60s and 70s, but I seem to have heard it less latterly.
-------------------------------------------------- Note added at 31 mins (2010-03-29 21:45:42 GMT) --------------------------------------------------
And of course, very much in the same vein is 'go for / take a slash' — with my same reservations about male coarseness vs. my mother-in-law
Tony M France Local time: 03:10 Works in field Native speaker of: English PRO pts in category: 32
The translation workplace 
peer agreement (net): +4
