English to English translations [PRO] Art/Literary - Linguistics
English term or phrase:Next shrine was founded in the same place by Maria Kazimiera Sobieska as a votive offering for salvaging her life.
Next shrine was founded in the same place by Maria Kazimiera Sobieska as a votive offering for salvaging her life.
I don't like the sentence as it is. How to improve it?
Here's the whole passage:
Before the end of 1673 the wooden shrine was burned down by Tartars. Next shrine was founded in the same place by Maria Kazimiera Sobieska as a votive offering for salvaging her life, and when that one was burned too, she founded a beautiful baroque temple, which was consecrated in 1699.
Explanation: The next/succeeding shrine was set up in the same place/on the same site by Maria Kazimiera Sobieska as a votive offering (in thanks) for the saving of her life
-------------------------------------------------- Note added at 8 mins (2006-10-15 18:00:50 GMT) --------------------------------------------------
Well, I don't know what put Maria Kazimiera's life in danger, as the author doesn't say; the text is about the place, not about the Queen.
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7 mins confidence: peer agreement (net): +3
a sentence - style corrections
Please see the suggestion below
Explanation: The next/succeeding shrine was set up in the same place/on the same site by Maria Kazimiera Sobieska as a votive offering (in thanks) for the saving of her life
-------------------------------------------------- Note added at 8 mins (2006-10-15 18:00:50 GMT) --------------------------------------------------
Or this might well be better:
'.... for the sparing of her life'
Caryl Swift Poland Local time: 23:14 Native speaker of: English PRO pts in category: 16
Grading comment
I used the "the saving of" version plus some of Zaphod's suggestions, so thanks to both of you!
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peer agreement (net): +3