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Illustration: The Suggested New Appearance of XXX

English translation: XXX - Suggested new look

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14:23 Aug 27, 2008
English to English translations [PRO]
Tech/Engineering - Computers: Software
English term or phrase: Illustration: The Suggested New Appearance of XXX
It's a heading for a picture in a software requirement specification document and XXX is name of software component.

I feel that there is probably too many words in this heading ;)

Maybe someone can suggest a better version.

Thank you all in advance!
Alexander Onishko
Local time: 07:09
English translation:XXX - Suggested new look
Explanation:
succint heading style... - depending on what style you are employing, capitalize everything.

options:

(The) XXX's suggested new look

Selected response from:

veratek
Brazil
Local time: 01:09
Grading comment
Selected automatically based on peer agreement.
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

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Summary of answers provided
4 +3XXX - Suggested new look
veratek
3 +3The new look suggested for xxx
Paula Vaz-Carreiro
3 +2the suggested new appearance of xxx
Mark Nathan


  

Answers


3 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5 peer agreement (net): +2
illustration: the suggested new appearance of xxx
the suggested new appearance of xxx


Explanation:
just delete "illustration" - it's obvious

Mark Nathan
France
Local time: 06:09
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 8

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
neutral  Taña Dalglish: W/out context, it is difficult to ascertain whether "Illustration:" is needed. If you use suggested/proposed, it is new, best to split words. I understood what you were saying, but we were looking at it fr diff. angles. Didn't mean to be diff. G. luck!
6 mins
  -> You need "new", because a new appearance is being suggested (a change from the old appearance).

agree  Ken Cox: you can also delete 'the', as compact text is often used in captions\\and for Alexander's benefit, only the first word of a caption is capitalised
6 mins
  -> yes, depends on the style of the text

agree  Phong Le
10 hrs
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13 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5 peer agreement (net): +3
illustration: the suggested new appearance of xxx
The new look suggested for xxx


Explanation:
OR maybe
(The) new look suggested for xxx

I'd substitute 'appearance' for 'look' if can, although there is nothing wrong with 'appearance' - it is just 'look' sounds better to me. HTH

(As for withdrawing the word "illustration", that depends a bit on context and it is difficult to give an opinion)

Paula Vaz-Carreiro
Local time: 05:09
Native speaker of: Native in PortuguesePortuguese, Native in EnglishEnglish

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Mark Nathan: Yes this probably is better, I was focusing on the grammar and the number of words
27 mins
  -> Thanks Mark. I felt that the original sounded clunky, if you see what I mean... :-)

agree  Nesrin: I also think "proposed" may be better than "suggested" here ("proposed new look")
1 hr
  -> That's a good improvement. Thanks N.

agree  Pham Huu Phuoc
16 hrs
  -> Thanks :-)
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1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +3
illustration: the suggested new appearance of xxx
XXX - Suggested new look


Explanation:
succint heading style... - depending on what style you are employing, capitalize everything.

options:

(The) XXX's suggested new look



veratek
Brazil
Local time: 01:09
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 4
Grading comment
Selected automatically based on peer agreement.

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
neutral  Paula Vaz-Carreiro: You can't "the" put before a possessive... [(the) XXX's ...] // Pardon me. My mistake. I have corrected it.
12 mins
  -> your comment makes no sense // OK.

agree  warren: This relates the information with less words! - (NO the)
1 hr
  -> thanks

agree  Mónica Belén Colacilli
1 hr
  -> thanks

agree  Vincentius Mariatmo: Less word with the same information :D
16 hrs
  -> yes :-) thanks
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