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On the occasion of

English translation: See comments below

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10:11 Feb 15, 2008
English to English translations [Non-PRO]
Art/Literary - General / Conversation / Greetings / Letters
English term or phrase: On the occasion of
I'm translating a letter which refers to certain problems that arose due to interventions from a third party.

What I need to say is that the reason why we're writing this letter is because so and so did this and that and they shouldn't have.

The source text goes like this: "On the occasion of the interventions you made etc etc etc, kindly be advised that...."

My problem is that I'm not sure that the beginning is appropriate: "on the occasion of". I'm trying to find other ways to say the same thing.

Due to/Since/Triggered by the fact... are some ideas, but I don't like them either.

I'm stuck. Any ideas, please? Thank you.
xxxd_vachliot
Local time: 07:17
English translation:See comments below
Explanation:
I think you need to re-work the entire sentence, and if you want our help with that, you'd be best of giving us the whole sentence to work from.

For a start, the sentence as it stands is ungrammatical: "On the occasion of... kindly be advised.."

And it might be better to turn the whole thing round, for example, like this:

"Kindly be advised that, due to your unfortunate / ill-timed / blundering intervention at the scene of the accident, several people died and many more vehicles than necessary were burnt out"

(of course, the example I've chosen is inappropriately flippant, but I hope it serves to illustrate how important it is to have the whole context, so that the tone and register can be judged corrctly)

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 30 mins (2008-02-15 10:42:21 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

The extra context you have provided is some help; but my quibble with 'interventions' is that it isn't (usually) countable, and we don't (usually) use it with the verb 'to make' — the way you are trying to use it sounds very much like FR usage.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 37 mins (2008-02-15 10:48:57 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

"Kindly be advised that, as a result of / arising out of / as a direct consequence of / following the maintenance operations you performed, the entire factory has now had to be closed down..."

We really need to know the tone you are looking for: "kindly be advised..." sounds very 'soft', but just how much blame to you want to imply? For example, you might say "...subsequent to the maintenance operations you carried out, it was noticed that oil was leaking from the whatsit..." — 'subsequent' may be what you need, since it implies the time element that you seem to be suggesting with 'occasion', but without making a strong causal link, merely hinting at it.


--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 49 mins (2008-02-15 11:01:48 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Sure, that's why I suggested giving us your entire draft sentence (with as much context as you can without breaching confidence, of course), and allow us to judge for ourselves.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 1 hr (2008-02-15 11:24:53 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Well, perhaps I should have said "FAIRLY soft" — strictly speaking, yes, you ought to make it a separate question; however now we've got started, why don't you just carry on with this one, and we'll see where we get to? :-)

Try to give us a more complete sentence, so we can appreaicte the structure and judge the tone. I'm only too eager to help, if you give us the building blocks to work with. Alternatively, if you deem it more appropriate, feel free to contact me privately so we can continue our discussion at leisure.
Selected response from:

Tony M
France
Local time: 06:17
Grading comment
Thank you guys. I asked the same question in the Greek>English pair, and I got more or less the same reply. No exact equivalent. I think I'll have to re-work the entire sentence and sacrifice a couple of things.
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

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Summary of answers provided
4 +1as a result of
Expialidocious
4See comments below
Tony M
4at the time when you said.....
Shera Lyn Parpia
4Because of
Jack Doughty


Discussion entries: 8





  

Answers


5 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +1
on the occasion of
as a result of


Explanation:
As a result of your actions...

Could work in your context.

Expialidocious
France
Local time: 06:17
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 4

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Tony M
6 mins
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

6 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
on the occasion of
at the time when you said.....


Explanation:
I think this is what the writer means.

By interventions do you something that was said or something that was done? That is my only doubt, and if it was an action you can say, "when you did....."

Shera Lyn Parpia
Italy
Local time: 06:17
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 36
Notes to answerer
Asker: Yes, by interventions I mean sth that was done. Cheers.

Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

8 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
on the occasion of
Because of


Explanation:
Because of the interventions you perpetrated....

I think some of your own suggestions are OK in themselves, but I think the element of blame could be included by substituting"perpetrated" for "made".

Perpetrate: perform an act, usually with a negative connotation; "perpetrate a crime"; "pull a bank robbery"
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

Jack Doughty
United Kingdom
Local time: 05:17
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 366
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

18 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
On the occasion of...
See comments below


Explanation:
I think you need to re-work the entire sentence, and if you want our help with that, you'd be best of giving us the whole sentence to work from.

For a start, the sentence as it stands is ungrammatical: "On the occasion of... kindly be advised.."

And it might be better to turn the whole thing round, for example, like this:

"Kindly be advised that, due to your unfortunate / ill-timed / blundering intervention at the scene of the accident, several people died and many more vehicles than necessary were burnt out"

(of course, the example I've chosen is inappropriately flippant, but I hope it serves to illustrate how important it is to have the whole context, so that the tone and register can be judged corrctly)

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 30 mins (2008-02-15 10:42:21 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

The extra context you have provided is some help; but my quibble with 'interventions' is that it isn't (usually) countable, and we don't (usually) use it with the verb 'to make' — the way you are trying to use it sounds very much like FR usage.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 37 mins (2008-02-15 10:48:57 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

"Kindly be advised that, as a result of / arising out of / as a direct consequence of / following the maintenance operations you performed, the entire factory has now had to be closed down..."

We really need to know the tone you are looking for: "kindly be advised..." sounds very 'soft', but just how much blame to you want to imply? For example, you might say "...subsequent to the maintenance operations you carried out, it was noticed that oil was leaking from the whatsit..." — 'subsequent' may be what you need, since it implies the time element that you seem to be suggesting with 'occasion', but without making a strong causal link, merely hinting at it.


--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 49 mins (2008-02-15 11:01:48 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Sure, that's why I suggested giving us your entire draft sentence (with as much context as you can without breaching confidence, of course), and allow us to judge for ourselves.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 1 hr (2008-02-15 11:24:53 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Well, perhaps I should have said "FAIRLY soft" — strictly speaking, yes, you ought to make it a separate question; however now we've got started, why don't you just carry on with this one, and we'll see where we get to? :-)

Try to give us a more complete sentence, so we can appreaicte the structure and judge the tone. I'm only too eager to help, if you give us the building blocks to work with. Alternatively, if you deem it more appropriate, feel free to contact me privately so we can continue our discussion at leisure.

Tony M
France
Local time: 06:17
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 285
Grading comment
Thank you guys. I asked the same question in the Greek>English pair, and I got more or less the same reply. No exact equivalent. I think I'll have to re-work the entire sentence and sacrifice a couple of things.
Notes to answerer
Asker: You had no way of knowing what I meant, so if I were you I wouldn't worry too much about it. No, "interventions made" does not sound very natural, maybe "carried out" or sth, but my problem is not that. I'm not getting sniffy. It's very awkward and difficult for me to explain an idiomatic Greek expression+plus the connotations+the context in English. Thanks

Asker: "Kindly be advised" is very soft..?OK, I need to make it harsher without crossing the line, because this is a formal letter. Shall I ask another KudoZ question?

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Changes made by editors
Feb 15, 2008 - Changes made by Tony M:
LevelPRO » Non-PRO


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