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|English to English translations [PRO]|
Tech/Engineering - Petroleum Eng/Sci / Geological report
|English term or phrase: Is this grammatical?|
|Areas subject to this process become active, areas which had previously been inactive.|
I was going to write a sentence somewhat like the one above, to represent an inversion in Russian, where "areas" came at the end of the first clause, so it could be followed by a descriptive phrase. Then I got cold feet, and doubted if this repetition of "areas" was acceptable in formal English. Not even sure what to call it - apposition perhaps? Neither was I sure about the comma being the right separator!
Yes I know I could rewrite it (and I did), but the translation is handed in and I have a few minutes to ponder these things!
|English translation:I wouldn't use it in this context|
For my taste the clearest version is: Previously inactive areas subject to this process become active.
However, I appreciate that the question that you really want answering is whether you can repeat "areas". Leaving aside questions of what is "right" or "wrong", I would say that the repetition of "areas" a) sounds awkward and unnatural and b) is poor sentence construction in a piece of scientific or technical writing. There might be a place for this sort of thing in a literary piece (although I have my doubts with this specific example, which I think is just awkward on the ear), but in formal or factual usage I would definitely stick to more standard constructions.
Selected response from:
Local time: 17:44
|Thanks Armorel. You're right! I think my problem was that it's a formal rhetorical device, but not a formal written device. Still not sure what it's called though - apposition may be right.|
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer
5 mins confidence: peer agreement (net): +3
|is this grammatical? |
Assuming you mean the same areas in both cases, one way to phrase it is:
Areas subjected to this process become active -- areas that had previously been inactive.
Of course, there are other options, such as:
As a result of this process, areas that were previously inactive become active.
Previously inactive areas treated using this process become active.
Note added at 11 mins (2008-01-16 17:19:32 GMT)
(I assume that you actually mean 'subjected to' instead of 'subject to', which means either 'prone to' or 'conditional upon', neither of which seens to fit well with the context.)
Local time: 18:44
Native speaker of: English
|Notes to answerer|
|Asker: Well, you've used a dash where I had a comma. Is that all it needs?|